Hi guys,
I was clean for 26 days then fell, then was clean for 9 days and then I just fell. Here I am now starting my 90 day journey again!!!!! I need all the chizuk you guys got, so we can all do this together. I know I can do this... and I dont want this to continue when I start dating next year. So pleas Hashem help me to fight this....

Are you "dry drunk?
 A pattern of keeping clean for a few days or weeks, then falling, and repeating this, suggests that you are using will power to fight the urge to fall.

To keep clean on a permanent basis, a genuine accountign is needed of what makes you fall.
The whole process, the build up to a fall, and the aftermath.

What feelings do you have, what triggers the falls?

Then you can understand the deeper cause, and work on a strategy.

Mindfulness can really help if you are gripped by an urge to fall.

Mindfulness can explain self destructive behaviour.

Treat the urge to fall, as an external thought, rather than something that is part of you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior

JNW wrote on 14 Jun 2020 20:05:

sounds familiar.......ah this is similar to my first post, It sounds so familiar, and if you dont believe me       > ( https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349216-Going-to-do-this) < 
I have gone through what helps in my forum and I think you just gave me the reason to start another thread to document this. In the meantime however I believe that you have a handle on this and just post daily to keep yourself accountable.

How does one work on mindfulness? What do you reccomend?

honestly, mindfullness doesnt help in my experience, for others it works. Here is a page from the Mayo Clinic on how to practice it:



]Mindfulness exercises

See how mindfulness helps you live in the moment.



By Mayo Clinic Staff

If you've heard of or read about mindfulness meditation — also known as mindfulness — you might be curious about how to practice it. Find out how to do mindfulness exercises and how they might benefit you.



What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.



Spending too much time planning, problem-solving, daydreaming, or thinking negative or random thoughts can be draining. It can also make you more likely to experience stress, anxiety and symptoms of depression. Practicing mindfulness exercises can help you direct your attention away from this kind of thinking and engage with the world around you.



What are the benefits of meditation?

Meditation has been studied in many clinical trials. The overall evidence supports the effectiveness of meditation for various conditions, including:



Stress

Anxiety

Pain

Depression

Insomnia

High blood pressure (hypertension)

Preliminary research indicates that meditation can also help people with asthma and fibromyalgia.



Meditation can help you experience thoughts and emotions with greater balance and acceptance. Meditation also has been shown to:



Improve attention

Decrease job burnout

Improve sleep

Improve diabetes control

What are some examples of mindfulness exercises?

There are many simple ways to practice mindfulness. Some examples include:



Pay attention. It's hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. Try to take the time to experience your environment with all of your senses — touch, sound, sight, smell and taste. For example, when you eat a favorite food, take the time to smell, taste and truly enjoy it.

Live in the moment. Try to intentionally bring an open, accepting and discerning attention to everything you do. Find joy in simple pleasures.

Accept yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.

Focus on your breathing. When you have negative thoughts, try to sit down, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Sitting and breathing for even just a minute can help.

You can also try more structured mindfulness exercises, such as:



Body scan meditation. Lie on your back with your legs extended and arms at your sides, palms facing up. Focus your attention slowly and deliberately on each part of your body, in order, from toe to head or head to toe. Be aware of any sensations, emotions or thoughts associated with each part of your body.

Sitting meditation. Sit comfortably with your back straight, feet flat on the floor and hands in your lap. Breathing through your nose, focus on your breath moving in and out of your body. If physical sensations or thoughts interrupt your meditation, note the experience and then return your focus to your breath.

Walking meditation. Find a quiet place 10 to 20 feet in length, and begin to walk slowly. Focus on the experience of walking, being aware of the sensations of standing and the subtle movements that keep your balance. When you reach the end of your path, turn and continue walking, maintaining awareness of your sensations.

When and how often should I practice mindfulness exercises?

It depends on what kind of mindfulness exercise you plan to do.



Simple mindfulness exercises can be practiced anywhere and anytime. Research indicates that engaging your senses outdoors is especially beneficial.



For more structured mindfulness exercises, such as body scan meditation or sitting meditation, you'll need to set aside time when you can be in a quiet place without distractions or interruptions. You might choose to practice this type of exercise early in the morning before you begin your daily routine.



Aim to practice mindfulness every day for about six months. Over time, you might find that mindfulness becomes effortless. Think of it as a commitment to reconnecting with and nurturing yourself.



Everybody is different. This may help for you and maybe not, try it and hatzlacha!