was clean for 24 days, I never in my mind would've thought I would've been able to do it, I though I was going to be clean for a week at most and here we are at 3 weeks (24 days), unfortunately I fell but I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do next

You're doing amazing! Great attitude!
Keep us posted 

Meyer M. wrote on 05 May 2020 13:12:

If we were trying to stay clean and had a fall, we must realize that we haven’t lost anything that we gained until now. We simply have to get up and continue from where we left off. The Steipler once told someone who complained to him about how difficult this struggle was, that the times we fail are erasable, but every time we pass a test is a Kinyan that's ours to keep forever. Even if we are successfully misgaber (overcome) only once in a while at first, this initial hisgabrus will ultimately lead us to break free completely.  
   

So if you were doing great for a while and had yet another fall, don’t despair! Trust that Hashem had much Nachas Ruach from your spiritual successes, but he wanted you to take it to the next level and therefore he gave you these pitfalls, even though he knew you would fall. What makes a person great is his ability to get back up, despite his falls. And davka by having to renew our determination from the ground up, we are rocketed into a much closer Kesher with Hashem than we ever had before!

Instead of getting down on ourselves after a fall, let us reflect back on how many times we did manage to say “no” to the Yetzer Hara before he won us over now! Let’s recall the many tens - if not hundreds - of times during the past clean-streak that we didn’t give in to him! We definitely have the upper hand in this war. He is determined to make us feel down so that we should continue to slip. But let us focus on the overall picture. Even though we may have lost a battle now, we are still winning the war. Let’s rejoice about our successes and get right back up for the next round, where B’Ezras Hashem, we will do even better!

Day 1: i dont expect to post every single day but I'll see depending on how things roll, today after the fall were some times of feeling like continuing off the cliff, thankfully thats over. I hope the fact that i didnt go specifically to emiss (was a mistake) hopefully makes it a little easier to bounce back

Well done for bouncing back!

Day 2: still going strong, controlled my thoughts a lot more and used the lessons from the previous fall to lead them out of my head. I have to say learning is becoming quite easier (although its still a challenge to work out) and I hope to add a couple more shiurim (e.x. shmuz.com) to my schedule, if anyone knows of any such shiurim online that would be great, and I would really appreciate it. 

Rabbi Orlofsky's podcasts on Torahanytime will always give you a cheer.

i needed this. i also went for over a while not falling after just starting out and now just fell. hearing you struggle with the same thing and getting back up, inspires me to do the same.

Day 3: kept myself occupied the whole day today and had no issues throughout the day, too easy if you ask me, but if it works then so be it. gonna give torahanytime a run tommorow, thanks for the suggestion

Day 4: Friday not much here, busy whole day
Day 5: Had a beautiful shabbos, had a few thoughts but quickly moved them on

Rockstar!

keep it rolling! you're gonna get there!!

You have an awesome attitude! Keep that up and the Yetzer Hara won't stand a chance. keep it up!

Day 6: yknow this feels almost too easy, I would say i feel like im walking into a trap but i dont know, maybe its easy right now because i had 3 weeks to change my addiction needs and now i dont need it as much, then again maybe because im investing so much time into reality, I dont feel like wasting any time in fantasies? i dont know, im just happier than iv been in a LONG time

Meyer M. wrote on 11 May 2020 03:43:

You need to be aware that its normal to feel weak after some time of keeping clean. Most people go thru this stage.The ones that realize what's behind this, stay strong an the others fall back and then start the same cycle again.The reason is that the initial emotional excitement wares off ... now its an intellectual struggle. 

The good thing is that when you get over this bump, and you stay strong not because of feelings but because you know what's important and you want in life, things really start falling into place - big time!