I feel like it's a lost cause. I've reset this so many times I can't even count. Once the urge is on nothing stops it. Once its over I feel bad and reset. Its like I'm shoeing away good judgment and my brain is not listening or doesn't care at the time. Triggers are definitely stress, board, angry, or depressed. Once the urge is high I go as so far and reset my phone, disconnect filters, etc. When its over they are back on..the minute I catch a glance of anything and not even porn I'm already sucked in..i could be watching a TV show, catch a paper, etc.. pritzus is all around how is it possible?? I can't shut myself off from the world we live in today. I was hoping Yosef hatzadik can tell me in a dream some tips. 

Hi
I feel your pain, believe me it's not a lost cause! 
We must do everything in our power to break free of the vicious cycle now, by taking the necessary steps to break free. As long as we are still caught up in the cycle of addiction, we cannot begin to heal. And the nature of the addiction is such that we cannot think our way out, we need to act our way into a new pattern of thinking.

We must realize that the Yetzer Hara/addiction wants our soul, not the pleasure. Otherwise, why is a thousand times never enough? Keep this saying in mind: "Just once is too much; a thousand times is never enough." We cannot bargain with the addiction. Half measures ultimately amount to nothing. Isolated incidents of control are not significant when dealing with addiction, it’s the overall pattern. Staying stopped is the issue. We must realize that we were acting insane. It’s not sane to repeat self-destructive behaviors. This is, in the most literal sense, a life and death struggle for our souls.

Many people have been helped here and so will you with the help of Hashem, as long as you commit to stay here and find your unique solution, you'll get there very soon.

Thanks. Just reading the few posts toward me I hope with Hashem's help I can do this..i will try to post daily as this may help. This is something I never really did. So, day 0 since I had a bad fail today..

1) I deleted all my social media apps. Ex: snapchat, tiktok, etc
2) Enabled opendns filter
3) Reset counter on gye
4) Daily post
5) Installed Detox filter app for phone
6) Did a drop of walking. Never really excercise. Have not gone out much to covid closures

Do I break my VR goggles? They are tempting.

The journey begins..

bitochonGYE wrote on 14 Jun 2020 18:43:

One of the hardest things I did was take a hammer and smash my MacBook Pro (this was before Gentech filtered Mac and there was nothing that could keep me clean). I still have the pics somewhere. I sent them to Hashem Help Me.
Great first steps. We're all here for you, stick around and we'll get through this together.

I think the AA book says something along the lines, you can't really hide/sell every bottle of whisky and hope to never come across alcohol. You could go to the north pole and someone will offer you a drink. Meaning, ultimately, you will be exposed to some temptations, therefore the only real option is changing yourself. That being said, it's much easier to break free, in the beginning by getting rid of any possible temptations. In the longer run, however, that alone is not gonna cut it.
Why not sell it or lend it to someone for free? Although if it's really a big trigger and you can't do that or wait for that, then might as well trash it.
My desktop PC is unfiltered, but it's in the living room.The mere thought of shame of accessing a bad website and either my wife finding out about it or one of my kids make it a non-trigger for me. My  phone though is filtered and is a huge trigger for me. I take many precautions with it.
Are you following the 12 steps? I think they're the best way out. Avoidance of triggers is very important, but in my opinion it's just a tool. True change must come from within, and is expressed in many other actions.

Day 1 - Had my friend lock my filtering. Again, I've done this before, but hoping this log and great support from all of you makes a difference. I'm generally okay today but its summer out and I had to force myself not to take a second look at things. Thanks for the support!

I have to check the 12. I looked at it a while ago.

My suggestion is, focus on the first steps, surrendering. That's where most people are at. I think I'm still at it.
It's about admitting, in our case, that lust is an issue, and that it's out of control. We have to let go of lust. It's an internal process, that translates into outside action. Most of the time, as Dov says, we think we need it. We will die without it. We must accept that lust is bad and that is something that has to go. Practically speaking that is understanding that when an undressed woman comes in your line of sight, you avert. You don't linger more than enough to recognize it's a trigger for you. When a bad ad or outdoor comes up you do the same. You say to yourself, it's not just a look. It's lust. It's a trap. When a bad thought comes up you do the same, think about something else. It's not hard to look the other way or think another thought. The hard part is letting go. We try and try to convince ourselves we need it and we can't live without it. The moment you admit that not only you don't need it, but you should stay the hell away from it, things get a lot easier. That being said, do study the steps, and look for practical ways to implement them.

BHYY wrote on 14 Jun 2020 22:47:

A MACBOOK PRO!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? 

It's gevurah, but gevurah's a high price to pay!

Thanks. I hear what you are saying but I feel like it's impossible. But will review 12 steps and try. Thanks 

: ) 

I don’t have any words of advice because I myself am in the battle as well. All I can offer is that you should know there’s someone else out there who’s felt your pain and distress. You’re not alone and you’re a good person. 

bitochonGYE wrote on 14 Jun 2020 17:25:

I also thought its a lost cause. It isn't. Stay here. Keep posting and stay connected. We will iyh pull you out....like was done for me...

Day 2 - No real issues today. Support of all your responses is helping. Thanks 

Day 3 - Still holding strong. Had some issues as my brain wandered to wanting to look at eye candy. Not even porn. Not sure why I find that relaxing. I shook it off.