Hi everyone I just opened new account because I wanted 2 start off fresh does anyone elae have this problem that the 90 day goal is in head whole day and u end up having 2 fight even more than before

Yea, after desipherimg your message, I totally got what you mean. When w stake the time to really really commit to stopping, it's something that can take control of us, of our days, and of our thoughts. The goal is something always to strive for, and that idea gets stuck in the head. 

To to fill you in... We all get the feeling, and eventually through the work you put in, and continue to put in this will slowly turn I from a daily struggle to a lifelong success. 

Make sure to check out the rest of GYE, there's a lot the website has to offer, shiurim, articles... But in my opinion you hit the gold mine of true recovery. The forum is where we come together to support one another in every way we know possible. Browse through some of the posts, and see what this community can really do. I'm sure it took a lot to get this whole thing started, the account, the admitting, so first step above all is to give yourself a real pat on the back. THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT, A TRUE SUCCESS ON YOUR JOURNEY TO LASTING FREEDOM. 

Welcome me to the GYE family, we're here for you, and always will. 

Keep eps us posted:smiley:

If fall down get up wrote on 25 May 2020 02:44:


You touched on a very interesting point.

Usually, if a person is faced with a challenge, the strategy to overcome it is by working hard to get it under control. However, in this area, such a strategy will not work. In fact, the opposite is true: When a person tries to control a thought, he is essentially bringing to mind the very topic that he was trying to rid himself of, which causes his mind to explore it further. For example, if someone tells himself not to think about an elephant, then just mentioning those words will bring the image of an elephant to mind. This idea holds true both with regards to inappropriate thoughts, as well as improper sights.

How, then, should one deal with inappropriate thoughts and sights? They should be treated as if they are a bag of garbage, waiting for the garbage collector to come. Just as you wouldn’t open the garbage bag to investigate if there’s something good there, so, too, a person should work on himself to consider these thoughts and sights as if they are nothing and just continue on his way. The focus should be to continue on with ‘business as usual’ without even analyzing what just happened. 

Your goal is not to conquer a life-long yetzer hora in one day! Simply putting up a fight is a tremendous accomplishment, and skipping this time, or even delaying it a little bit, is still worthwhile. Even if you ultimately do it, there is still value and tremendous sechar for every second you are able to be omeid b’nisayon.

We wish you great success on you FRESH START!

Keep busy.

And try Mindfulness.


Mindfulness can explain self destructive behaviour.

Treat the urge to fall, as an external thought, rather than something that is part of you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior

Today was my first day of restarting 90 day program, surprisingly it went very easy I was working the whole day, so didn't have time to even think about falling. I want to thank everyone for the feedback it keeps me going. Just a thought if u fall its actually sort of a win, because in order to fall you have to be trying, and that's the goal not to be perfect, but as good as u can be.

p.s. Just wanted to say in advance my grammar is pretty bad so it might be hard to understand my posts, but I'll try my best

Way to go!!! Get right back on that recovery horse as soon as you can. Before you can even think about "getting your money's worth" or... I fell already so what's the point?
keep up the great work, giving Chizuk, that's what we're here for... But maybe more than that is to give you real help and advice to your road of long lasting recovery. So keep us posted!!!