Hi guys, earlier this year I hit 90 days for the first time. It was exhilarating. I had never felt so powerful and I'm control in my entire life. I went on to hit a tremendous milestone of 180 days. 6 months clean. I never dreamed I'd be able to hit that. Then I fell. And fell again. And again. I fell into a cycle of falling once a month. Then once every two weeks. Then it got out of control. Throughout my 180 days clean I was active on gye. It provided tremendous chizzuk and the 90 day chart was great. I realized that my original fall was due to me slowly getting ok with breaking my rules like watching softcore dirty movies without masturbating etc. I now have a better understanding of how important it is to keep my boundaries strong. I also must stay active on gye and post often. I know that if I did it for 180 days I can do it for years iyh. I can do this. You can too. Good luck on your journey.

Sounds like my story. I just made 180 days then acted out and have never been able to do 180 days again.

and this other guy in SA by me, i had MORE sobriety than he did then I messed it up and he's on 3 years and going on, and he watches all kinds of netflix stuff and I can't understand it and I get all resentful and stuff. God, bless him and take care of him for me because I obviously can't.

Wow, 180 days... I wish. It's usual,y when we let ourselves go that it always leads to end up leading to the eventual fall. It's always good to make sure we know why we're getting more lazed... Is it because we are getting back into normality, or just back into our old ways. 

Posting on GYE can always help up be aware of those factors, if you write truthfully on the forums, and every so often make a plan to check up, you'll always have that question in your head... Is what I'm doing correct, and is it worth it?

How's it going for you?

Baruch hashem it's going well so far. I feel energized and strong in my belief that I can do this. It sort of feels like I built the muscles in my previous clean runs. I just need to have the right mindset to actually do it. I'll keep praying my progress iyh. From 30 to 90 to 180 and beyond. Thanks for following along it's a tremendous chizzuk for me.

Reachstars wrote on 25 May 2020 04:34:

Hey, your great courage to restart is an amazing inspiration to all of us!

I wanted to point out that relapses can be important opportunities for learning and becoming stronger.
Relapsing is like falling off a horse- the best thing someone can do is get right back on again.

People who have relapsed may need to learn to anticipate high-risk situations (such as being with their family) more effectively, control environmental cues that tempt them to engage in their bad habits (such as being around drinking buddies), and learn how to handle unexpected episodes of stress without returning to the bad habit. This gives them a stronger sense of self-control and the ability to get back on track.

Hey y'all Its day 34. I promised myself I'd try to be more active on gye but life has been busy. BH I'm still clean and full steam ahead to 90, 180 and beyond. The past few days had some struggles, but I know I have what it takes. I will tame this demon and be in control. Reading around the forum it's truly inspiring what some folks here have been capable of. Hope to keep posting! Greatly appreciate any engagement.

Reachstars wrote on 22 Jun 2020 18:50:

With this great attitude you sure might reach the stars one day with the help of Hashem! Keep it up...

Day 42 bh still going strong!

Good luck, should hashem give you strength 

Reachstars wrote on 30 Jun 2020 18:04:

Keep up the fine work brother! We are rooting for you! 

Day 68 here getting tough but I know I can pull through

Reachstars wrote on 26 Jul 2020 15:43:

Thats awesome! Maybe post more frequently if things are tougher now.  Will help you feel more connected and create more accountability.