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Going to do this
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Going to do this 3134 Views

Re: Going to do this 08 Jun 2020 02:35 #350907

  • Meyer M.
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Im an idiot. opened my yap after i got pissed at my father yesterday and said some not nice things deliberately. well today was a nice little hell, things didnt work out so well today. 

better work on kibbbud av v'aim 

in other news: Day 34: clean
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 08 Jun 2020 03:25 #350911

Meyer M. wrote on 08 Jun 2020 02:35:
Im an idiot. opened my yap after i got pissed at my father yesterday and said some not nice things deliberately. well today was a nice little hell, things didnt work out so well today. 

better work on kibbbud av v'aim 

in other news: Day 34: clean

Congrats on not beating yourself up too much and "punishing yourself" by doing self destructive things. None of us are perfect and sometimes we say mean things. I've had that feeling in my relationship with my father as well and what I've found is that the best remedy is for me to simply make sure I'm taking care of myself and happy internally, whether I get there through exercise meditation etc. Often our friction with others comes from friction within. KUTGW!
If you are really bored, you can check out my original thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/305558-Journey-of-one-day-at-a-time 

"Think good and it will be good!"

Re: Going to do this 09 Jun 2020 12:46 #350959

  • Meyer M.
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Lately been slipping in my thoughts, B'h not SSA. Will work on it

Day 35: Clean!
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 10 Jun 2020 03:45 #350993

  • Meyer M.
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Day 36: Clean! Went to a friends house, one of the relatives would normally trigger me in a SSA manner, didn't happen this time around, kept my thoughts clean and even allowed myself to open a conversation with them and find a nice little relationship with them. Its strange because I would have thoughts in such an SSA manner and now that I'v been under control for over two months I look back at my thoughts and the current relationship and think about how damaging lust is. It can take an innocent person, whom you like, and turn it into a monster where you want a completely twisted relationship. I go often to this persons house in the summer, so B'h thats taken care of.

Its mind numbing how crazy my journey has been already. And I'm definitely going to ask for advice on other scenarios which need improvement.

Rabbosai, Hatzlachah Rabbah!
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 11 Jun 2020 02:29 #351035

  • yosef10
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Thanks so much for replying on my forum, really meant a lot to me, especially when I was down.

Regarding your friend, just make sure to be careful.. at the end of the day we can't control our thoughts really, we can let them pass, and not identify with them but we always have to be prepared.

Im so happy for your success!!!! KEEP IT UP!!!
"Sometimes the only Bechira we have is to ask for help"

Maybe you can gain something by following my journey... Or not, whatever works
MY Forum

Re: Going to do this 11 Jun 2020 11:09 #351049

  • Meyer M.
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yosef10 wrote on 11 Jun 2020 02:29:
Thanks so much for replying on my forum, really meant a lot to me, especially when I was down.

Regarding your friend, just make sure to be careful.. at the end of the day we can't control our thoughts really, we can let them pass, and not identify with them but we always have to be prepared.

Im so happy for your success!!!! KEEP IT UP!!!

  yes we cant control our thoughts but if our lust is taken down to a point the y'h will not bother you with thoughts of a higher degree (SSA) because you will not be triggered by them, think of a gadol, do you think the y'h is bothering him a whole day to murder? Of course not, he wont listen, so he starts small ("just dont learn for a minute, you're too tired" - y'h). This concept is actually discussed in Rav Shafier's lesson (The Fight). I'm actually seeing the craziest pictures, not even on the internet, in the street of all places, this is where the summer gets problematic and I definitely need to step up my game.

Day 37: Clean! 
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 12 Jun 2020 04:52 #351091

  • Meyer M.
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Day 38: Clean.

The world has gone crazy. May hashem protect us. I'll be honest I'v been thinking of carrying a weapon on me for protection...still thinking about it but I hope it won't come to that
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 14 Jun 2020 04:37 #351133

  • Meyer M.
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Day 39: Clean!

Day 40: (Shabbos) Clean, had the most difficult urges throughout the day and was struggling. Thankfully I found the strength to hold out and keep clean. But the satisfaction after I held out was worth the whole ordeal. Almost halfway through 90 days, I can’t wait for 45 days and I love doing this for my girlfriend and everyone else. 

GYE, yasher koach!!!
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 15 Jun 2020 04:24 #351210

  • Meyer M.
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Day 41: Clean.
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 15 Jun 2020 16:32 #351240

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Congratulations! Keep us posted! Your progress is a great chizuk to everyone here!
אם יהיו חטאיכם כשנים, כשלג ילבינו

Re: Going to do this 16 Jun 2020 02:10 #351275

  • Meyer M.
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Day 42: Clean.
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 16 Jun 2020 15:25 #351303

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Meyer M. wrote on 14 Jun 2020 04:37:
Day 39: Clean!

Day 40: (Shabbos) Clean, had the most difficult urges throughout the day and was struggling. Thankfully I found the strength to hold out and keep clean. But the satisfaction after I held out was worth the whole ordeal. Almost halfway through 90 days, I can’t wait for 45 days and I love doing this for my girlfriend and everyone else. 

GYE, yasher koach!!!

Just a general question if you feel comfortable answering. How if at all do you think your struggle changes given that you have a girlfriend. 
"Sometimes the only Bechira we have is to ask for help"

Maybe you can gain something by following my journey... Or not, whatever works
MY Forum

Re: Going to do this 16 Jun 2020 16:52 #351309

  • Meyer M.
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yosef10 wrote on 16 Jun 2020 15:25:

Meyer M. wrote on 14 Jun 2020 04:37:
Day 39: Clean!

Day 40: (Shabbos) Clean, had the most difficult urges throughout the day and was struggling. Thankfully I found the strength to hold out and keep clean. But the satisfaction after I held out was worth the whole ordeal. Almost halfway through 90 days, I can’t wait for 45 days and I love doing this for my girlfriend and everyone else. 

GYE, yasher koach!!!

Just a general question if you feel comfortable answering. How if at all do you think your struggle changes given that you have a girlfriend. 

I think that it’s helped a lot, even without her knowledge of my struggle, she is a very special person and I definitely love her very much and it has given me something big to fight for. The Jewish community definitely views it as taboo but there is such a thing as a healthy relationship between a young boy and girl, the right boundaries have to be established and granted I’v known her a long time but we have not touched inappropriately at any age, we have followed the rules that are there. So has it helped me? Without a doubt yes, but I do know from experience is that most boys do not know boundaries and do not treat it maturely and it ends up getting out of hand. So I wouldn’t start recommending to people to start getting into relationships that may lead to more problems. If you have one, Great! If not, most Rabbanim I’m would advise you to stay away. Kind of like a prescription drug for a very specific individual.

Hatzlacha!
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Going to do this 16 Jun 2020 21:38 #351332

  • Hashem Help Me
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For anyone thinking of starting an innocent boyfriend girlfriend relationship it would be advisable to watch or listen to Rabbi Orlofsky's masterful presentation titled "The Platonic Relationship". Besides bluntly confronting the challenges, he happens to be very funny.....,
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Going to do this 17 Jun 2020 00:47 #351348

  • Meyer M.
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 16 Jun 2020 21:38:
For anyone thinking of starting an innocent boyfriend girlfriend relationship it would be advisable to watch or listen to Rabbi Orlofsky's masterful presentation titled "The Platonic Relationship". Besides bluntly confronting the challenges, he happens to be very funny.....,

Smart reply

Day 43: Clean.

Getting very hectic, preparing for camp, college, work all in one week. Corona Corona Corona, boy it has flipped the world on its head.
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake
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