Hi, I hope everyone is doing well in this crazy time. I heard that once one passes week 1 of being clean and kosher, the following weeks (2 and 3) get increasingly difficult. Does anyone have any battle strategies to help me get though and be successful.
​Also, what am I even preparing myself for?

Dov has a nice piece on the struggle getting easier as time goes on. @Markz, do you happen to know the ma'arei makom?

yosef10 wrote on 26 Apr 2020 16:08:

Here are a couple things I find helpful to keep in mind:

1) Testosterone is a hormone that stimulates the sexual drive. There are some studies that show that testosterone does increase with abstaining from sexual activity. These different studies saw an increase after a week (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12659241) and 3 weeks (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11760788) respectively. I'm no scientist, but it seems like there is good reason to say that there are some biological reasons why it would get harder after abstaining for a week. I think just knowing this can be helpful. When I know what might be contributing to me feeling a certain way, it makes me feel less at the mercy of these invisible forces of urges and desires. Basically less helpless.

2) I don't think you need to prepare for the future. As Dov is fond is saying (paraphrasing), you can't be sober for tommorow today. Basically this is life for most people, I don't know if this challenge goes away. It's called being human. Can it get easier and do the challenges change? Yes, they can. But I don't even know what I'm ranting and raving about anymore Hope by some stroke of luck some of the above was helpful. If not, you know why we have two ears

Thank you, I guess I have a lot coming at me over the next couple of weeks.

​Hopefully going to keep posting on the forum. For anyone that is of some reason interested, or thinks they can help, (any response gives me chizuk) Heres my link...https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/348493-Lets-do-this#348783

I can say for myself that remembering the following two things have been helpful to me:
1) Its normal for things to get really, really tough at times, with urges that feel insurmountable.
2) The urges will fade. Sometimes after a few seconds or minutes, sometimes after a few hours. 

Singularity wrote on 26 Apr 2020 19:54:

Hi, any chance you were able to dig this up?

yosef10 wrote on 27 Apr 2020 19:52:

I think it's from one of his 12-step workshops. I'll paraphrase:

He chuckles when people come to him and say (in a thick chassidish accent) "I can hold myself for x days..." and then he goes on to explain how they feel the struggle gets worse every day because it's like holding your breath or pushing down this spring that eventually is just going to burst forth, it's just a matter of time, whereas the spiritual 12-step approach is to surrender each day so the accumulation of time doesn't become some sort of precedence, and then the passing of time doesn't get more difficult. 

His idea of one day at a time, which is my best understood, is that, you can push as much as you want today, it won't exempt you from having to go to the bathroom tomorrow. It's not the idea of, "I can hold on for one day, then one more, then one more, and eventually I'll get 90 days", it's more the idea of "There IS only today. There's nothing else that I can really do or change." And living like that negates the buildup of mostly imagined pressure.

That being said, he does acknowledge withdrawal symptoms but says they'd vanish in 2 or 3 weeks, so maybe that's something to take into account.

As for me, I have felt and lived the ODAAT reality and done so for long stretches of sobriety, but I'm still what you'd call a chronic relapser So I guess you'd call it progress, not perfection.. 

Hope this helps

Wow, I think that is a great way to put it.

​I guess now I just owe it to myself to see what it feels like without the withdrawal symptoms. 
(But since it's one day at a time then I guess theres no week 2 and week 3:)