If you must go on Twitter, I suggest aggressively curating your feed to remove accounts you shouldn’t be following, and only follow accounts that are related to why you joined. For example if you want to practice writing, follow accounts related to writing. If you can’t think of a good reason why you should follow someone, don’t.

C'mon Drust....
that's it.
go ahead.
You should maintain your pureness until tour birthday. (short-term goal)

Hey drust,

Great work on the 8 days! Keep going
Have you ever heard of the dry drunk? The guy who's an alcoholic tries desperately to stop drinking, but without 12 steps or the tried tools. He tries as he can to avoid alcohol, but he hasn't given it up internally. He's always anxious about finding alcohol on the street and when he does, he slips and falls. He is never happy and his life is about avoiding alcohol. He could, in fact, not drink for the rest of his whole life. But he'll be anxious as hell and practically speaking he will go back to drinking.
I'm sorry to say but from reading your posts, you don't seem to have given up lust, at least internally. I don't mean to sound harsh or patronizing at all, only to help you Bez"H.
Stopping M can and should be an easy flight, if the right precautions are taken. It shouldn't be something so frightening.
-Do you have good filters? Not having them is a deal-breaker. You can't stay clean without good filters. The filter also simbolizes the giving up. It means you admit you can't handle it on your own, and that you're ready to give up lust. It's a statement. I don't need nor want that in my life. All devices should be filtered.
-Take notes on how you fall. Is it in the office? Is it at home? We lust addicts can't expect to repeat old behaviours and circumstances and think this time will be different. If you notice how you fall, it's probably a pattern. If you identify it, you can break it up. Again, it's about giving up. I Snowflake, for instance, admit I can't go to the bathroom far from my bedroom at midnight with an unfiltered phone. To be sure, I don't even go there. If I do, I check my phone out (even though my phone is filtered). I use the bathroom nearby my bedroom, where my wife can at least hear me.
-Give up lust. Not talking about videos or whatever (these should be the first to go out). I'm talking about that look on an innapropriately dressed woman. That extra 5 second staring at an ad. The forbidden thoughts. Realize lust is the villain. It kills you from the very inside. Giving it up will be the best thing you can ever do. Just say to yourself, I need to cut this off from me. You can't control the thoughts or even the looks. Sometimes something forbidden just comes right in front of you. But you can divert them in a short span and minimize damages. That's in your power.
-Read the 12 steps and Dov's shiurim/quotes. They go deep into what is recovery and why we need it.
-Do you have a plan for the urges? When an urge comes, our instinct is to isolate ourselves. We must do the opposite and come here, and express our feelings.
Again, sorry if I seem harsh, just wanna help you out.
This is a long term thing and it needs a long term plan.
Anyway I'm here to help as I'm sure everyone else here.

Snowflake wrote on 02 Mar 2020 18:27:

Amazing post!

Thanks a lot.
I think you know me better than myself.
You are right. I'm very weak  against my thoughts, P*rnstars' bodies, staying alone and many other reasons in this battlefield.
I can't fight anymore I think.
Thank you about your useful comment my friend

DeadEnd



I think I can't fight with this monster.

but I wanna thank to all people who commented to this topic.

Sometimes I think about that if I will get married it would be the alone way to give mas*turbating up. Sometimes I think about crush my phone. Sometimes I envy anyone who doesn't have a phone. Sometimes I think to many ways. But in the end I always fail.

anyway, 

I'm going to start 12 steps. there should be a way, just one way, to stop watching inappropriate pics and and  stop mastu*rbating. and I'll find it. I swear it.

 

drust,

Thanks for sharing your struggle.
We all are powerless to all that stuff.You are not alone. You said you had a crush on a p-star. Haven't we all had that?
The thing is to admit that's the way Hashem made us. We are powerless to this kind of stuff. And the next very best thing is to truly decide we can't go on like this anymore. To truly give up lust. If you sincerely want to quit, then like everyone else said you need to take every precaution, filters, change circumstances. Admit that, by yourself, without any precautions, you will fall prey to the same triggers, then self-loathe, all in a vicious cycle. Make a real plan. And you may yet still fall, and then you keep working on your plan and reaching out, until things settle (and you don't settle lol, keep upping the defenses because even senior members here are prone to falls). I know that because I used to be in your shoes just a while ago. I still had my unfiltered phone. I made all kinds of excuses. It slows the internet. Sometimes the apps just don't work. But in reality, I wasn't ready to give up lust. I thought I needed it.  I thought I couldn't live without it. It was like the "bottle in the fridge". I could reach out whenever I thought "I really need it". Once you decide not only you don't need it, but you need to get rid of it for good, then you're ready to actually do everything that's in your reach. But it takes real honesty with yourself. Do I really want to stop? Am I willing to make some small sacrifices to keep clean? Self-beating is also a tool of the YH. It leads us to nowhere. The YH wants us to feel down, helpless and even more than that. The YH wants us to quit the game. So first of all, don't beat yourself up, even if you C"V fall! We are all in day 1 here, we are all addicts, we all have our "things". For ideas for a plan, check out the GYE handbook. Keep coming here on a daily basis if you can, because the chizuk is very good. If you can join an SA meeting that's ideal. If you can reach out to someone here (anonymously) by the phone, it's very good too.
Keep us posted and yasher koach! You seem very determined.
I'm davening for you!

BTW: I'm married, as well as many members here are. For my case, it actually entails even more triggers, which sometimes make my battle even harder. But it's completely possible to stay clean while single, for any amount of time. Wet dreams may occur more often than for married guys, but that's it. 

Drust. I hear a lot of despondency in your writing. Don't give up so fast. I know it's hard, when we fail we feel like it will never get better and we feel like C**p. Just remember, most problems in life take time to fix, why would this be any different? I know it's difficult, and I was very discouraged many times, the number 1 tool you need is the desire not to give up. If you have that, eventually you will find a way. Good luck and listen to snowflake,  he's writing amazing stuff.

Bump. Some golden posts on this thread. Start from page 3 and on.

drust wrote on 20 Feb 2020 16:05:


For practice writing, and to finding good friends GYE is the best place.
Use the forums and learn to know REAL people