woww your amazing thats all i can say it reminds me of the story with i think reb elchonon who, when the nazis made him go through a line of two rows of soldiers hitting him with clubs he stopped and bent down to get his yarmulka and got back up.

You keep writing and falling and writing - how do you keep in such good shape? some of us (old me included) would keep falling untill there no inspiration left. So, my suggestion is o try to think of a way to tacle this challenge from far away - meaning to think of tactics to keep away from pitfalls good luck 

I've unfortunately had another fall... this was a really hard week and I think I just collapsed. onward

Bonobo

Try to work out why you fall.
Is it stress, lust, depression etc?
It might be a different reason at a different time.

Only by understanding that can you put together a long-term plan.

Try to practice mindfulness...where the urge to fall is regarded as a thought, but just a thought, and you can allow that thought to float away like a cloud int he wind.

Just as a response to ur point. I'm pretty sure its a combination of stress, boredom, and procrastination, at least that's what Ive narrowed it down to. 

My biggest issue has been this mindfulness part. I.e the recognition that I have a though or an urge and then understanding I need to take steps to NOT follow through with it.

What ive noticed is that a part of my brain says " NO, this isn't what u want dont do it" and then that kinda gets pushed away and I go and act on that urge anyway. 

​I will try ur idea of how to manage this mindfulness and post an update mid of next week. 

keep on posting no matter what