Hi, yes a few things. Scroll back to the beginning of this thread and you will find them. That stuff was really good in the beginning, but working on a change is strategy now. 

Day 92:
Intentionally did not post on day 90 as it is an arbitrary number in this fight. 

Need to change strategy a little bit as the YH is getting smarter. Feels like he is fighting an inch by inch battle rather than a mile by mile one. YH pushing the tiny things, like taking a second look when I shouldn't. Formulating my new strategy.

Congrats on reaching 90 days! I like your approach on being aware of what the YH is trying to do and not letting your guard down.  What new strategies are you coming up with?

Little stuck in that area. When I figure it out, I'll let you know lol.

Day 192:



I've been MIA because I've honestly felt deflated. It is day 192 and I have not fallen yet but had some amazingly close calls. The YH has found a chink in my armor and is utilizing it, and I'm a little fatigued from fighting. Need chizzuk.

Don't feel bad.  This is a journey that has many ups and downs.  Some days we will wake up and feel that it will be a good day, other days we will wake up and feel weaker.  The important thing is to set up safeguards to prevent the YH from "inching" in.  Can you identify what some of your triggers are?  What led to some of these close calls?

I am very sad to report that I had a fall last night. I had been struggling the last couple of weeks. I feel incredibly awful about it but managed to fight off the inevitable binge that usually ensues. I am ready to continue fighting. I had a streak of something like 242 days. Instead of thinking of it as a total loss im going to think about it like a boxer... I have a 242 to 1 record. Resetting the clock and battling on.

Hey just dont forget the name of this thread...

I'm sorry to hear that you had a fall.  But, the fact that you manage to fight off the urge to "binge" is itself a major victory.  That is one of the big tricks of the Y"H.  I like your perspective on 242-1 record.  Please keep us posted on your continuous journey. 

Avoiding binging and posting the honest truth shows a fellow with bh a healthy mind. It means you understand fully that all is not lost and that the accomplishment remains. If someone went from acting out once a week = 52 times a year, to once every 242, that's awesome. Keep it up chaver. It is inspiring for all when one is courageous enough to post that he had a fall after so long, and that he is just moving on b'ezras Hashem.

I would have been thrilled with once a week. Unfortunately it was far far more. But I'm trekking on 235:1 today.

Howzit. Keep on pushing. It seems to be working. Do you feel a little less concentrating on lust than you used to?