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On the Way to 90-Days

how I did it...
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: how I did it... 2362 Views

Re: how I did it... 18 Dec 2022 22:29 #389618

  • human being
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Vehkam wrote on 18 Dec 2022 22:16:

Human being wrote on 18 Dec 2022 21:25:

imeinanili wrote on 27 Dec 2018 11:37:
I just made it to 90 - first time ever. Previously I never got even close (I think 14 days was my max). ...............

.................In other words, whereas previously my motivation had always been guilt and fear, I now decided to work on it out of love: for my family, for Hashem...................

..................I waited two weeks before I deleted the accounts. I realized that in the past when I deleted them while 'high' on regret, I later had remorse and recovered them. This time I just calmly deleted them one day. Not once have I tried to recover them since that..................








What an incredible post. The lowness of the action, the exaltedness of this person, such a beautiful and authentic post. Thank you!

If only others we would try loving our challenged parts and accepting them and not calling them "bad" maybe it would help us heal, when we are trying so long to win our struggle by ostracizing the parts of us that are struggling and its not working, maybe its time to start loving them and accepting them, like it is said so beautifully here, .........In other words, whereas previously my motivation had always been guilt and fear, I now decided to work on it out of love: for my family, for Hashem...........

HB, 
the post, as you quoted it, does not refer to loving and accepting the parts that are struggling.  That may be a wonderful thought, but it is not the message of the original poster back in 2018.  His message was that he decided to motivate himself to stay clean out of love for hashem and his family.  (previously his motivation had been guilt and fear for doing the wrong thing).  He may or may not have decided to love and accept his challenged parts.

best wishes for continued success,
vehkam

1) -Just like his motivation was no longer guilt and fear, So too our motivation doesn't have to be guilt and fear.   
2) -Love can be our motivation instead.
I do believe he would agree to both points above.. 

The part he may not agree with (yes you are correct here)​ is love of whom,
it can be love of god and family as "imeinanili"  suggested. Or love -of the part of us that is struggling. (Which I suggest)
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.
Last Edit: 18 Dec 2022 22:34 by human being.

Re: how I did it... 19 Dec 2022 03:20 #389630

  • teshuvahguy
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imeinanili wrote on 31 Dec 2018 03:14:
I just remembered something else that helped me at the beginning. B"H I was past that pretty quickly and had forgotten:

I never decided that I wasn't going to act out. What I did decide was that if I wanted to act out then I had to do certain things first. Including learning a bit, saying Shema, making a nice treat or surprise for my kids, writing a surprise note for my wife, There were other things too - I forgot. For me it worked. Can't guarantee it for others, but at the beginning I was saved by that a few times.

What a fantastic suggestion! So simple, yet I never thought of it. Thanks so much. 
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