Shulchan Aruch refers to laws of hezek r'iyah regarding one having access to looking at another's field. Our eyes have power beyond simple sight. And face it, most normal people can "feel" when someone is staring at them - there is some metaphysical aspect.

Thanks for the suggestions!
@Trouble - I think from a physical perspective you are right that you haven't used her.
However, in regards to attributes of a person. Benefiting from someone else (i.e. their appearance) in a way that they wouldn't want you to is in a way selfish and not a good trait. Just like when kids are younger, a little kid could start crying from another kid "staring at them or making fun of them." They didnt do any physical harm. However they did something against their wishes, or in this case without consent (which probably wouldnt have been given). 

In that regard working on being less selfish and understanding that you are "using" someone else in a terrible way. (If I remember correctly- An animal that has sexual relations with a human is killed because something "wrong" was done with it. So too having improper thoughts about someone would be a disservice to that person.) If I knew that everyone time I stared at someone for pleasure they got a notification I would be severely embarrassed an I would be able to stop REALLY quickly.

Thanks for the advice!!!

#Day17

I am sure everyone is too busy with the new site rollout. But I'll post anyway....
So I am happy to say I am still doing fine with my 90 days regarding porn and masterbation. It doesnt seem like the struggle is too unbearable. HOWEVER, I will say that shmiras eynaim is still SUPER hard! I am just surrounded by things I both do and don't want to look at. This is such a conflict inside me. I guess I just need more support and to realize that me slipping and looking doesn't characterize who I am.

You are a good man buddy! Rome was not conquered in a day. BH you are feeling success regarding two very difficult challenges. Stay focused and iyh you will continue with those two and in general be more and more careful with what you say. Iyh the day will come that you will truly feel kadosh. Go look in the mirror and tell the guy looking back that he is one super fellow!

#Day20!
BH I am at 20, which is only half-way to 40! 
Thank you GYE for helping me have accountability. 

Keep it up Realestatemogul!

#Day24!

Wow how time flies! BH at the 2 week mark and I am still here.
I had an interesting thought tonight.

I keep feeling like I am failing because of how many times I look, or really stare/obsess,  at females every single day. So, I decided to track it and see what I really am doing and try to judge it more from the outside. 

How many times a day does a thought come across my mind?
How far do I actually take that thought? 
How many are really long intense thoughts vs how many short ones?
How many times am I actually looking at someone?
How long am I taking pleasure from it?
How many times do I look away right away?
How many times a day do I do none of these things?

After I had this thought, I started realizing that the degree to which I feel like I am failing may not be so accurate. Sure, sometimes I enjoy a sight longer than I should. But, it is not the majority of times. Sure these thoughts creep up in my mind a lot, but it definitely isn't most of the roughly 17 hours I am awake. I am very excited about this empowering thought and I am curious how it will enable me to feel success in these areas.

Let me know your thoughts!

I'll keep you posted on my findings!

Thanks again guys and Ksiva V'chasima Tova!

Day 24 wow!!
in other words the first part of the post it your yh speaking and the second half it the yt speaking, bh he had the last say because that's the correct way to truck! All these thoughts are just the yh trying to get you to fall, focus on the fact that your 24 days clean and just the fact your having these thoughts, just shows that your getting somewhere. 

Happiness keeps you strong, feeling down is when the falls happen alot! Keep it up and keep posting!

Realestatemogul wrote on 06 Sep 2018 03:49:

I don't think you are wrong about looking at it objectively, but I also don't think it helps you decrease that number (unless you are depressed and you are trying to restore an objective look at life.) I think you want a simple behavior to use when you have a an opportunity to feel desire, like surrender. What counts is whether you are using that behavior consistently or not (and whether that behavior helps you.) It's really not about totals but about the next moment.

Obsession about failure will lead to failure. Just move on. Don't let these thoughts linger. 

#Day27
Hey everyone!
So this last tool I used really helped this week. Just realizing what was really going on in my shmiras eynayim was so helpful. Now I can try and work on it in a healthy way. Also totally gonna take my glasses off more often. Tried it this week once and it just makes everything SOOO much easier.

Also, special shout out to Schnitzel and Kugel for finishing 90 days! So happy to have been a part of that and what a special way to go into the Yomim Noraim! I'yh many more days strong!

Ksiva V'Chasima Tovah

Appreciate it, thank you!

Shniras ainayim is the most fundamental tool to stay clean! Day 27! Kah! Things should be getting easier from now, bssed in my experience.
As always keep posting

#Day30


​It is definitely still going to be a challenge to journey til 90. I won't fall into the trap of saying "oh this is easy" and then next second I trip and fall flat on my face. Some days are easier but definitely some days are really hard (R"H had some tough moments) and with Hashems help (we only get tests we can pass) I will continue to stay strong, connect on GYE, and get to my goal!

Gmar Chasima Tovah!   

I just realized that day 30 is level 5! Soooo excited to have passed another benchmark. The benchmark of Gibor Koach Oseh Devaro. How befitting for my post that I renew my commitment to power through to 90.

So happy for you!! Keep it up, give us nachas by posting the good news. That itself can help win over during a tough struggle, at least for me it helps.