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On the Way to 90-Days

This is going to be the time I get to 90!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 49956 Views

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 30 Jul 2019 14:59 #342607

  • dave m
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Realestatemogul wrote on 30 Jul 2019 04:32:
Day0

Really getting harder for me to come on here and post my falls...It says Sheva Yipol Tzadik V'kom and I'm getting close to the seventh time already and still not near being a tzadik….


Yes it can feel demeaning and uncomfortable to keep posting about your falls.  But it is important to stay connected to the GYE chevra now.  Right now you are just going through a rough patch.  This will pass.  Things will get better. 

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 30 Jul 2019 15:22 #342608

Reb yid sorry to hear about your fall, definitely stay connected as Dave mentioned however things will only get better if you take bigger steps to get to the root of the problem, whether it's joining phone calls, live meetings or therapy, just to get a pic of why your turning to this drug, why you keep needing that escape etc.

As dov will say "a pretty woman isn't lust, I'm just using her to feed my lust"

Just my opinion on what is helping me, feel free to disagree.
Joined as a single bochur, Bh broke free (but still on watch) by using the tools on this website, therapy but mainly through getting married. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 31 Jul 2019 03:13 #342613

  • realestatemogul
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My new goal is 1 day...

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 31 Jul 2019 21:57 #342630

  • stillgoing
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Realestatemogul wrote on 30 Jul 2019 04:34:
Also, I got a filter B''h to help with the fight, but then another avenue just came up that I will struggle with. I promised if I look then I will lose $50.

I've spent so much money threatening myself. Actually I probably didn't loose that much since I didn't always have the guts to pay up...

good luck on the new challenge. My personal moto that I (TRY!!!) to keep is, keep on going & keep on trying, but don't keep on doing the same old thing and hoping for different results.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 02 Aug 2019 02:58 #342648

  • realestatemogul
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I am finishing up Day 2!!!!

Feeling a bit better now...I need to seriously get back on a 90 Day count.

I know when I get back to 90+ Days I will be even stronger than the last itme I got up there. Also, I know that the urges are way "less" and are more manageable from there....Not that the y''h doesn't try even harder, because he definitely does...But I felt like I had stronger clarity that I didn't want to lust after I was clean for 90, 150, 200 etc days.

I REALLY REALLY want to get back there!!!

Also, I have some stresses in my life that makes me want to act out instead of being productive...I have to try and overcome that....

Thanks for listening GYE and I love the feedback on my last post!

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 02 Aug 2019 14:02 #342660

  • ColinColin
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When an urge comes, break down things into 5 minute blocks.
Say to yourself, I will do an activity for the next 5 minutes to take my mind off the urge.

But the key is to see the urge for what it is, an urge...external to you.
But triggered by your genuine emotions.

So long term you need to live a life that nourishes you in a healthy way.

That is about fulfilment from positive activities and a realistic approach.

But when the urge strikes, you do need a tactical plan.

Try walking, reading, calling a friend etc.

Or mindfulness.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior
Last Edit: 04 Aug 2019 02:32 by ColinColin.

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 02 Aug 2019 23:04 #342665

  • realestatemogul
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Thank you Colin Colin!! That is a great article, I am going to try that.

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 14 Aug 2019 04:54 #342845

  • realestatemogul
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#Day15

TYH! It's amazing how different the urges are when you are a few days away. Right now, I have to shake the constant shmiras aynayim and Hirhurim that I am just being super lazy about. I am very happy to be at 15 days and climbing again. I also think I am in a good place (no stumbling blocks) to be able to maintain a bit longer sobriety.

Good day to all  

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 21 Aug 2019 04:42 #342993

  • realestatemogul
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#Day22

Please Hashem give me strength to stay strong another day!

#AhavasHashem
#YirasHashem

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 21 Aug 2019 21:32 #343024

  • Captain
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Wow! Keep it up!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 25 Aug 2019 21:43 #343098

  • stillgoing
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sleepy wrote on 22 Aug 2019 15:07:

sleepy wrote on 22 Aug 2019 00:13:

stillgoing wrote on 31 Jul 2019 21:57:

Realestatemogul wrote on 30 Jul 2019 04:34:
Also, I got a filter B''h to help with the fight, but then another avenue just came up that I will struggle with. I promised if I look then I will lose $50.

stillgoing wrote:
I've spent so much money threatening myself. Actually I probably didn't loose that much since I didn't always have the guts to pay up...

good luck on the new challenge. My personal moto that I (TRY!!!) to keep is, keep on going & keep on trying, but don't keep on doing the same old thing and hoping for different results.

sleepy wrote:
true ,but sometimes if the old thing is a good thing it sometimes takes time,and dont be so quick to discard it,
someone was advised by their Rebbe to do something to improve in a certain area, and the talmid said that hes taking the advice ,but he sees that hes getting worse as time goes by. eventually he did succeed,big time!


 and sleepy wrote some more:
i forgot to  mention the main point,   
" someone was advised by their Rebbe to do something to improve in a certain area,"and with a certain method "and the talmid said that hes taking the advice ,but he sees that hes getting worse as time goes by. eventually he did succeed,big time!

Definitely. I fully agree. Don't be so quick to discard it. But don't be so blind to keep on reusing the tissue long after it's full of holes either..
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 26 Aug 2019 03:09 #343107

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#Day 27

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 30 Aug 2019 05:20 #343248

  • realestatemogul
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#31 Days!

Gematria "Lo" because I have said "NO" 31 days now. 

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 06 Sep 2019 04:07 #343398

  • realestatemogul
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I am now at 2 Days. I have a lot to say and hopefully one of these days I will have the time to write a longer post. But for now I will say that beis Elul last year I started a streak that lasted 272 DAYS! Elul is definitely a month that is easy to build momentum and Tishrei I also expect will be pretty easy. Iy''h that will give me about a 60 day foundation to build off. Please Hashem help succeed. 
Last Edit: 06 Sep 2019 04:07 by realestatemogul. Reason: mistaken spoiler

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 06 Sep 2019 05:10 #343402

  • gyehelp2017
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Realestatemogul wrote on 06 Sep 2019 04:07:
I am now at 2 Days. I have a lot to say and hopefully one of these days I will have the time to write a longer post. But for now I will say that beis Elul last year I started a streak that lasted 272 DAYS! Elul is definitely a month that is easy to build momentum and Tishrei I also expect will be pretty easy. Iy''h that will give me about a 60 day foundation to build off. Please Hashem help succeed. 

Don't forget that your 272 day streak is not gone, it will definitely be easier this time around, so all your hard work is not gone and forgotten. And try to focus on the future rather then the past, because by most of us around here the past is aint that great, but the future by many of us is nice and bright.
So keep up your great work, and don't let your past pull down your future!!
Hatzlucha!!!
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