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Something on this site which has greatly helped
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TOPIC: Something on this site which has greatly helped 1950 Views

Something on this site which has greatly helped 01 Dec 2017 03:12 #323148

  • korbonos
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B"H

One time I clicked about to fall or something like that an an image of a young woman came up with a pleading look if I remember correctly as if to say, please think about me.  The heading might have also been something like "if this was your spouse."  That really helped me to break out of this downward spiral.  The woman looked like someone I could really identify with as a spouse and I didn't want to hurt her.  So I stopped; that was almost a month ago.  Before that I was basically out of control and living a dual existence of ruination and having to try to put on a face when going out and to shul that things were okay.
Thank you for having the insight into posting that photo at that time.  Gut erev Shabbos.

Re: Something on this site which has greatly helped 13 Dec 2017 01:53 #323647

  • yosef10
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You right to think this way. One of the big issues with this "epidemic" is that we don't sympathize with the fact that the woman are real people. This can lead us down a dark road and lose respect for the entire gender all together (sisters, cousins, wives). But you've got the right idea. 

About the "dual existence", i felt the same way. I have a shame tov b''h from my family, and I've built one up myself. Doing well in shir, being nice to a friend, learning for a long time, helping my mom with dishes... and then going right back to "falling", i didn't know what to with myself. I convinced myself that "my falling self" was my "real self". Over the coarse of my getting to 90 days (6 days away), i learned that not only is "my falling self" not my "real self", its not even part of me. Its just an extension of my reaction to stress, boredom, and sleep deprivation. After coming to this realization (that its not part of me), only then was i able to truly believe that i can leave it behind, and truly become free

Hope this helped. May we all have chizuk and reach our goals while getting closer to Hashem "bisimcha". Have an amazing Chanuka!!
"Sometimes the only Bechira we have is to ask for help"

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