Beautiful! You are internalizing the message we try to give over on guardureyes! Every little bit you do is priceless, and when you fall - what you DID you is NEVER LOST. See again post #24 on
this page.
Haba Letaher, mesayen Oso... I saw a nice vort this week. Why does it say "
Misayen oso" - Lashon Rabbim? The chidushei Harim explains that the Malachim created from every time we tried, even if we failed, all together - all the times we tried, they come together and help him succeed!
That is what happened as well with Rabbi Akiva's rock... drop after drop until it made a hole in the rock. Do you think the first drop made any impression on the rock? I'm sure you'll say not. And the drops that were falling into the hole that Rabii Akiva saw, were those drops any stronger than the first? No they weren't. And yet, we see how every drop, every single drop, no matter how insignificant, DID INDEED affect the rock in the long term!
So keep trying to guard your eyes, make fences where you see you slipped last time, and keep trying, davening, and always stay BESIMCHA.
And you will succeed!