phill up, u and yiraishamayim r right, it be it was my desire that caused me to start this post. but i felt like i needed to vent my frustration with hashem also. but r definitely right about me. also u wrote " When I start thinking that some woman is pretty, I take a step back and think that this is someone else's wife, sister, daughter, or some wonderful person's mother. I realize that she has a special connection to someone else- a connection that is beautiful because it is private. If I truly value connections and relationships, I don't want to interfere with them. By respecting this privacy, even when this woman is immodestly dressed and doesn't fully appreciate her relationships, I deepen my realtionship with Hashem and my prospective spouse." i really feel that idea. but when i think in similar terms i get so jealous at her husband that he has a pretty wife.. how do i do this with not getting jealous?

hakolhavel, right i really shld listen to the shiurim. im actually not dating(never did) cuz i have this problem

as you read through the posts it seems as though lovealways is being stubborn and trying hard not to understand so many simple and smart answers to his question. many of us have questions and will not accept anything for an answer. most philosophical questions have answers, so this stubborness is usually for one of 2 reasons. either we are looking for excuses, or we are not asking a question- we are frustrated and crying out for help. most people who come to gye are crying out for help (as lovealways said about himself). there is nothing wrong with answering questions but the main focus should be on finding each other help and giving advice. good for you lovealways for not letting your question throw you off and instead took the bold step of going for help. hatzlacha rabba on your journey to sobriety.

hashiveinu wrote on 10 Jul 2017 19:00:

I actually thought it was a great conversation. Lovealways was very reasonable. On that note lovealways how ya doin'?