Eye.nonymous wrote on 22 Dec 2009 12:34:
DITTO!!

Story just went out to Reb Guard.  As soon as he edits, I will post under break free.

Check out today's chizuk e-mail (#663) for my edited version of your story...

Beautiful job! I hope it inspires many people to change...

Inspired me thats for sure.
you are nothing less than heroic for even fighting this war
which began against your wishes and against your will.

Sci,

I just read your story in the chizuk email.

Thanks for being so brave as to share your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did as a child.  :'(

It's unbelievable what you have gone through and what you are now accomplishing. It's a real testament to your desire to change. Guys, this is what teshuva is all about.

I was so happy to read that your wife is joining you in helping you get better. You are very, very lucky that she's standing by your side. I've read a couple of stories where the wife found out, and left the husband. It's not hard to understand that.

We all wish you continued success and want to share in you growth to the highest of heights.

M'keemee me'afar dal, me'ashpot yarim evyon.

In awe of what you're doing,
Momo

Sci, your story is very inspirational.

You've been through an awfully lot...

AND you've come such a long way!

May you continue to go from chayil to chayil

...along with your aishes chayil!

  --Eye.

Wow. Reb Sci, your story was incredibly moving on SO many levels. I almost cried while reading it.

You've been through so much, but you're working so hard on improving. Your wife is wonderful for supporting you - though no doubt the two of you will need to do a lot of work together, it will be TOGETHER!

Your story inspires me...I'm going to figure out a way, right now, tonight, to use that inspiration to make a concrete change. Thank you.

Day 33 of the journey.  I wrote out my whole story and have been lifted to new heights by everyones response.  Thank you all.  As for the day, one moment sticks out to see how just change of attitude helps.  Stressful problem today at work, I didn't even think of going backwards.  My first thought was I wrote out my story and I feel great from it.  It's of my chest and shoulders.  I thought to myself,, for the first time in years, it is not my fault for something to happen.  I usually would have appologied for someone elses mistake and moved on.  Today in the stress of it all I stepped out of the shadows and said one simple sentence.  "It's not my fault."  Weird to say for me.  But I understood right there that something has changed.  I am not under depression, I am full of life.  My attutude has been no slips or falls, non needed or wanted.  I need to add to that and say, I am living for G-d, me and my family.

In this post I would also like to acknowledge Reb Guard, for without, I do not know if this story was even passable for anyone to read.  He is the one that made it look good, as my writing is as always choppy.  THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!

Positive thinking will get you somewhere if you don't let the past get you down.  I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR!!!!!

Sci, you're a real warrior.

I already posted on the story thread, but reading through the rsponses has me thinking again. Sci im so happy you were able to get your story out. I sure hope it will help you in so many ways. It seems , as you wrote, that it has already. Keep up the positivity. Your being mechazek so many people on this site. Thank you.

Just by telling your story will help you.

Having your wife's support is wonderful

Keep going from strength to strength. No looking back just move forward to lots of kedosha.

Day 34 is GREAT!!!  My wife and I actually started to break down walls between us.  I learned a lesson when walls are up.  The best thing to do is keep working.  Don't look down and wait to slip, keep pushing forward.  Staying positive helps more then anything else.  Don't let anything get you down.  Keep YOUR HEAD UP.  Strive for true love of yourself no matter what. G-d loves me already.  One moment at a time to regain life.  My head is finally slowing down on the process.  I had it my head I had to do it all so quickly.  I am finding out by slowing down some, I find deeper meaning into what lead me here and what directs me now to stay away from the past.  Today is a great day and I thank G-d for that.  No slips or falls, non needed or wanted.

Live life, not dispair.  Treat yourself how you want other to treat you and you will feel and see a change in people and yourself. 

I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR!!!!!!

sci1977 wrote on 23 Dec 2009 15:13:


Unstoppable Sci!

By writing out your story for yourself, you have basically done step 4 of the 12 steps - probably the hardest and most gut-wrenching.
And by sharing it with us,
not only
have you taken a huge step towards trusting again,
but have given us much to learn from
by way of overcoming and moving forward
not only despite the wounds,
but because of them.

Thank you sci

Kutgw sci. Im so happy for you. And a little jealous. :-\ I hope one day to make as far as you.