you are inspirational, even when you've hit a bump in the road.

Like they say, "learn from the mistakes of others. you can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself..."

So, thanx for the lesson.

BTW, Duvid Chaim's phone group gets underway tomorrow at 12 noon est. I hope to be on the call, and i hope EVEN MORE to "see" you there! Even with your tremendous successes, going thru the 12 step program the way DC does it will give a lot of inspiration and insulation for you, as well as be yet another springboard to a greater spiritual life, which is another goal you and i share in common.

Later, my friend...

Sci,

truly inspiring. thanks for sharing. and, yeah, it took some time, but like Eye said, some people never realize these things, don't often stop to appreciate the people around them (your wife) and/or HKB"H. every time we're able to accomplish this we are moving forward a big step. and maybe next time it will be shorter than 45 minutes, but in the end of the day, we all get knocked off balance at some point or another, it's how we put ourselves back together that matters.

sci1977 wrote on 23 Feb 2010 16:24:


Wow. Are you for real?
That's so amazing. Congratulations. You're a real baal teshuva.

sci1977 wrote on 23 Feb 2010 19:24:
45 minutes?? For some that is way to quick!! Some take a few days till they can calm down from such an incident! So 45 minutes is totally awesome, just like you Sci, who is totally awesome!!!!

Thank you all for your responses yesterday.  SB, eye, imtrying25, steve, momo, sturggle.  When getting responses like all of yours it makes it much easier to open up and be honest regarding everything.

So another day of being clean and sober.  Feeling really strong today and really trying to live.  I almost feel like if you actual are living the changes you are attempting to make it really helps.  I spoke to G-d this morning and realized after I was done talking to him I got a nudge to remind myself about where I need to be to stay clean.  It's being in the right state of mind.  Included in that, of course is to be honest, sometimes brutally honest with yourself.  I know that live is paved with a road.  But sometimes the paved parts of the road still have pot holes and still have curves.  But G-d has paved it no matter what.  Bumps will come and go.  It's how we overcome the bumps that what makes us the man we need to be. 

On another note today, I do not want to get into much detail regarding why this is here.  Remember your family first no matter what.  It's more important then anything.  I mean anything.  Lastly, it wouldn't be right of me not to say something regarding my wife.  She probably doesn't know this but this morning when I left for work I had a moment with her.  I don't know if she even caught it or not.  She was working in the kitchen and I was getting my bag ready.  I looked at her from accross the room and I was struck with a warmth of love.  She is and always will be amazing to me.  No slips or falls, non needed or wanted.

First of all, at the risk of being a parrot, 45 minutes is good - and it's amazing that you realized it at all. Remember that!

And the more we enjoy the road, the easier it is to get past the bumps and potholes.

You rock!

So I sit here in front of the computer and trying to decide to write this or not.  I guess I need to vent to here goes.  The company I work for might either be closed or sold.  No idea what my future holds.  G-d I pray you have a plan cause right now I don't.  I also have to say thank you G-d for giving me the feelings I have had today.  I have been strong but this is almost to much to take.  Trying to stay in the moment and within the day.  GOT to stay positive.  GOT TO STAY POSITIVE!

sci1977 wrote on 24 Feb 2010 19:48:


Sci, you are positively RIGHT!!

Remember, when G-d closes one door, He always opens another. If it's not open yet, that means He has something else he wants from you before he opens it. A friend of mine was able to take care of a medical emergency with his mother SPECIFiCALY because he was in between jobs at the moment. When she got stable again, a good job op opened up for him.

Hang in there!! Remember we all love you over here. And remember your earlier post - you have an amazing wife, LEAN on her, you will gather strength to face anything with her by your side.

Don't know what to say - I hope that hashem's plan, and the beauty of it, will be easy to see, and soon!

sci1977 wrote on 24 Feb 2010 19:48:
Couldnt of been said any better!! Keep it up Sci. And stay strong and positve. God will repay you. Leave all the worrying and nrevousness to him. he know how to deal with alot better than any of us. And there another benefit to that. hecan take it away whenever he wants as well!!!!
sci1977 wrote on 24 Feb 2010 19:48:
For you sci, someone who has punched in the 90 ticket, aint nothing to much to take!!!! And i mean it. All of us who have followed you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you do have what it takes!!!

Just an interesting point - it's purim time. And purim is really all about the idea that even in the darkest times, hashem is always there behind the scenes, running the show for our benefit.

We read the megilla, and we see the purim story unfold in about 30 minutes. The original story took...9 years? 12 years? Whatever - either way, at the time, it was difficult to see how events connected. And there was a decent span of time when the jews were sure they were all going to be wiped out. And for years, Esther was torn away from her husband, forced to be with a non-jewish king. But in the end, it was clear to everyone that hashem had been perfectly preparing everything.

I don't think it's a coincidence that such a dark time has come right at this time of year - and I hope that hashem shows you his plan quickly!

Thanks guys for getting me off the pissed off train I have been stuck on all day!  It's in G-d hands.  Now I just have to talk to my wife to make sure my heads on correctly going into tomorrow!

sci1977 wrote on 25 Feb 2010 03:59:


GOOOOOD LUCK!

G-d was with me for now.  THANK YOU G-D!!!  I feel a little better about the overall picture.