93 days of being clean and sober.  I am feeling pretty good today.  My wife and I continue to grow closer together and I am amazed at her.  I had a very good day and felt very alive.  No slips of fall, non needed or wanted.

I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR- WITH G-D'S HELP!!

U DA MAN!!

(look THAT up in your Funk-n-Wagnalls...)

Fantastic, man - keep it up!

And as always, I'm honored to follow in your footsteps!

Oh, and steve - thanks for the good shabbos, hope yours was, too!

Reading this thread honestly gives me such a drive to hit the 90 days and beyond. All the things you write about and how your relationship with your wife keeps on getting better and better. I just cant wait. Thanks again!

another day of being clean and sober.  Its been a good day so far.  Wishing everyone a great week!  One note on me today. I think I noticed a change for the good last night.  I ended up with heartburn and usually when that happened I would get very down.  Instead I ended up talking to my wife and just relaz some.  Instead of getting up an hour later really sick , I ended up sleeping through the night.  Not getting stressed anbout not feeling right is something I would have never of thought would or could be attached to an addiction but it can.  My mental state is much healther.  No slpis or falls, non needed or wanted.

As usual, nothing short of brlliant! Thanks sci!

Another day of being clean and sober.  I have continued with my daily routine of talking to G-d as I awake in the morning and when I lie down at night.  I find that the reminder to myself that daily that I am an addict makes me really look at it one day at a time.  Everyday I wake up fresh and with a renewed way to look at life.  Sometimes I even think that one day is sometimes even more of an accomplishment at night when I go to bed then the total accumulation of the days.  Every day is a great day.  I quoted a line from an Olympic movie called “Miracle” some time ago.  The coach told his team, “Great moments are born from great opportunity.”  I keep thinking about that line and how it really ties to recovery.  Every day is another moment we get to be great.  It also is an opportunity to look at ourselves and see that just by working on ourselves it is proof positive we are living that way.  For me personally it makes me feel like I make a big accomplishment every day.  It makes me continue to be positive.  This sense of understanding that every single day is greater than doing a long haul.  It’s a short time frame we really are looking at. 

My wife and I continue to grow and work.  I feel like for a very long time I never looked at her in depth.  What a fool I was and what a huge mistake that was.  Thank you G-d for a wonderful day!

No slips or falls, non needed or wanted. 

Sounds like you're doing really great.

KUTGW!!

  --Eye.

I love the feeling of amazement I get from reading your thread - you've made a good point. We can work on ourselves, and often, it doesn't feel like much is happening - we need to remember that if we worked on ourselves, then today was a great day! A great moment!

We may not always see it in the physical reality that surrounds us, but we can be certain that in the spiritual reality, the true reality, the beauty and greatness of such days is absolutely clear!

Hey Sci,

I really liked that last post of yours. Every day we have such an opportunity, a whole "new" world open before us. Keep on living them! I'm working on it too.

Another day of being clean and sober.  I must tell you last night was a reminder of how little things can become amplified.  SO before I continue I must say first off my wife was amazing during this little mishap last night.  Not to go into much detail but I had a disk for work that held most of my important documents to help many people, plus help myself.  I went to look up the contents of the disk and they were gone.  2 years of work GONE!!  So, I have to admit I flipped out some.  I was very upset.  During the whole time my wife tried everything she knew how to do to get the contents off the disk for me.  We didn’t succeed.  It took up a ton of time and into family time as well.  I have to fully admit in front of G-d and everyone here, at points I was nasty to everyone that was in that house last night.  I ended up having some time to myself last night after the whole thing happened.  And I realized that this is such a little thing to happen, why get so upset about it?  I can’t change what happened.

I ended up apologizing to my wife last night.  It is a shame I lost so much data and I was stupid for not backing it up to another disk.  But in a way, G-d last night  reminded me that for being mad is not worth it.  I was so stressed and tense, in the past I would have acted out for sure.  In this case, I had not one thought in my head to act out, which I felt was a huge personal success for me.  I was tested by something that surely would have done bad things to me in the past but this time it didn’t.  I finished my day yesterday by thanking G-d for the good and the bad of life.  It turns out that in my mind the journey I am taking on being a better person is at least working.  I still was mad and upset at the situation, but I am human.  I had a chance last night to really blow all the work I have done.  I did not blow it.  I stood up and was a grown up after an explosion. 

No slips or falls, non needed or wanted.  Lastly, today I want to say I love you, my wonderful special wife.

Wow - I mean, I can certainly understand being frustrated by what happened - that is a big deal!

But the fact that you were able to realize that getting upset and angry isn't worth it, and seeing how you want to improve your behavior - that's just incredibly special.

I think that in a way, this situation was also a great gift from god - because despite the loss, it let you see how much you've grown - not just that you didn't even consider acting out (although that alone is cause for a huge party), but also in how you're reacting now, and planning to improve!

Keep on rocking!

When were not doing good little things seem so large, but when we are doing good even the large things seem so little.

Hats off to sci for overcoming this test. Not many would of been able to react in the way you did!!

Keep it rollin my friend!!

Let me make bit of last night known.  It did take me about 45 minutes to realize it.  It didn't just happen in 5 minutes.  It took a while.

45 minutes is still GREAT; most people don't figure it out their whole lives.

Congrats on not acting out.

And Congrats for having the humility to apologize.

KUTGW,

  --Eye.