sci1977 wrote on 31 Dec 2009 00:37:
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Youve gotta post it in 7ups thread.

I just read your day 41 post.  I'm crying again.  :-[

Sounds like you're making huge strides.  It's also very touching to hear that you can share this with your wife.

KUTGW 

  --Eye.

Sci, I just finished reading your thread in one go!

I haven't been here for some time but, after reading about you in the email I was triggered to know more.

To tell you the truth, a lot of our members including yours truly are jealous of you.

To have your wife as a supporter is every ex addicts dream! I tried to involve my wife by showing her some GYE stuff, useless.

As there are wife’s who read GYE with their husbands (Not like your wife but still involved) maybe your wife should start writing in your thread explaining and guiding from experience?

It could help establish many homes, knowing that others got through it and stayed together recovering nicely.
If you will pick up the chalenge it could explain why you hade to go through all the suffering and pain.

In the mean time, ahooi warrior!

Day 42 of being clean and sober.  My day has been good, not great.  I thanked G-d this morning as usual but thanked him today also for courage.  The action of being a better person, friend, husband, son and father has been great.  Courage is something I don't believe I truly had 43 days ago.  I now have the right courage to care.  I can ask someone how they are feeling to ask them, not for the reason of gossip. 

I have a long road ahead and today for some reason that does not seem to bother me one bit.  If life was easy, no one would have a problem.  G-d has put obstacles in all our lives and how we choose to overcome them is ultimately up to us.  I choose now when stress happens, not to run to a crutch.  I read eyes post this morning and from that did not post right away.  I thought to myself, am I addicted to the computer or GYE??  Am I?  I kept thinking about and finally brought it up to my wife.  After talking to her about it, I came to the conclusion, no I am not.  I am not addicted.  I am in "love" with GYE.  I use a tool called the computer to get me there and yes, do I spend a lot of time on here, yes.  Is it to much, for me no, but I could see how it could be for some.  I do agree living more would be better and honestly, believe after eye, opening my "eyes", I will try to spend a little less time on here.  Living is what we all need to strive for.  No slips of falls, non needed or wanted.

I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR- WITH G-D'S HELP!!!

Fantastic! I love your balanced approach, and your positive, determined attitude!

And as always, your communication with your wife is wonderful and beautiful.

Please keep the good things coming!

If your staying away will help you my friend than do it!! And although well miss you we fully understand!! Keep on rockin. And tomorrow will be a better day. Just wait youll see.

Thanks guys.  I'm not going far, just going to cut some time off.  Don't want to change too much but when I post, I always sit there for about 10 minutes to see if anyone responds quick.  I need to stop doing that.  I really am wasting time.

I think that's a good approach - keep posting, spend time as needed - but don't overspend. 

We're glad that you're still here!

Hey Sci,

Your "good" actually sounds "great!"

Have a good Shabbos,

  --Eye.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 01 Jan 2010 07:21:
Well i guess that would translate to " have a GREAT shabbos". :D

Day 43 on this clean and sober journey.  As always did my morning routine and then moved on with the rest of my day.  I am having thoughts today about what does it take to move yourself from deep dark shadows, into the light.  I know I have given everything to G-d.  I know I took a leap of faith.  I know I stopped doing what I was doing.  However, I noticed something about myself today.  I said when I stopped, I was stubborn and let my stubborn mind take over.  Now, I am not as stubborn.  I am living the life I sould have all along.  Stubborn would be probably a bad emotion.  G-d has taken me to new heights to not let me get down, or get to far ahead of myself.  I keep saying pace yourself and all will be OK. 

My wife and I continue to grow together.  She has made me feel that what I am doing here is helping her.  I am so happy with her these days, it's almost like we are a different couple.  She is giving me her, and I am giving her me.  It's very comfortable. 

I also took an opprotunity this morning to dig deep inside my head and try and remember the last time I felt as alive.  I can say I couldn't find it.  In all of this, I made a promise to myself to be a more involved husband and father.  I am so glad I have done that.  The best part of living is sharing it with the people you live with.  I get on the floor and play with my kids now, and I think I am having a better time then they are.  I live, laugh and love my greater in every sense of those words.  Thank you G-d for giving that to me.  No slips of falls, non wanted or needed.

I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR- WITH G-D'S HELP!!

gevaldiggg

May you find continued succcess and growth in this new year.

I just smile and nod - and feel a renewed sense of direction for my own journey. Thank you!

The important thing to remember is that even if, chas v'shalom, it sometimes feels like your wife isn't "giving you her" - you need to continue giving her, you...

Day 44 of bein clean and sober.  Not so strong for a few moments today and almost fell big time.  The feeling lasted for about 30 seconds and really would have done it.  Thank G-d I didn't.  Right after I almost fell, I went straight to my wife and we talked for approx 10 minutes.  She saved me a brought me back to sanity.  She calmed me down and we have decided to wipe my computer completely.  I ran accross my own old internet history by accident and wow, I almost lost it.  My wife saved me.  She saved me.  I can't stop thinking about that.  Other then that little bit of time I had a great day!!!  Now I underatand why they say make it to 90 days because it changes you mind. 

I have realized an extremely specfic trigger.  And now I feel that it has lead to a new understanding of what my war is about.  I have been saying to myself for the past 10 days or so, this seems to be easy to do this.  I swear G-d came to me today and said, you think it's easy??  How about this.  And bam, Thank you G-d for doing so.  I spent the better part of three hours today thinking I was a nut job that this was so specific.  Now i know the trigger was meant to happen.  It took me and slowed me to a crawl today and that was exactly what I needed to happen.  G-d knocked me in the head and said, Don't forget who you are.  It was a gift!!  An extreme negative has been turned into a positive.  No slips of falls, non needed or wanted.

I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR-WITH G-D'S HELP!!  He helped me more today then I can even imagine.  He made a new opprotunity for me today.  Remember your problem and keep working.