I'm with you, LM! Whether someone's an addict or not, Sci, you're inspiring, and you give hope to the happiness of marriage!

Sci, you're doing really well, holy brother.

Don't look back, and always remember there's no such thing as lusting a little bit for us.

Thank you all for answering my Day 40 entry.  You all are an unlimited source of inspiration.  If I help you in anyway I am so happy!!! G-d has granted me to forgive myself and to love myself.



****In my journal today I fear one of the people who has been kindest to me on this site is having a bad day.  Eye, my heart goes out to you and wish you a better day tomorrow.****

sci1977 wrote on 30 Dec 2009 01:23:


Thanks.

Day 41 of being clean and sober.  I woke up and did my morning routine and today I feel great.  I learned something very early this morning about myself.  G-d can help you but when you have a decision to make, it's up to you to get it done.  I let myself this morning think about how to get to a new level as a person.  In the decision I had to make this morning left me on the wrong side of it.  But I guess that is what being selfless is.  Making calls on you life and knowing that in the end you did something that helped someone else more then yourself.  Although, now thinking about it, I have done what G-d wanted me to do.  It's better to be truthful to yourself and G-d then to let someone else suffer. 

I worked yesterday on me.  I felt it was time to start to deal with my youth and how innocence was taken from me early on.  I stood up and said to myself, this was not your fault.  My family member should have known better.  I gave all the hurt to G-d yesterday and said I don't want it anymore.  I am an adult now and can face life without holding on to being a victim.  I was told by my wife, do you want to be a victim or a survivor?  SURVIVOR IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!!!!!  If I am going to survive I need lots of support.  But I made the right choice.  I want to live, laugh, and love.  This was a huge step for me to do this.  Again, more weight is off my shoulders and I understand that keeping your head up and above the water is better then drowning in sorrow. 

Lastly, for anyone who read Day 40 on my journey, my wife read it yesterday.  She was taken back by my post.  She told me she was proud of me and felt that I was working hard on me/us.  She helps inspire me to keep up the good fight and to stay on the right path.  Understanding that this is not a race, it's a long journey. 

I was thinking about one of my kids this morning, he is 2.  He is a rather large, tall, child. He has a story longer then mine and he is only 2.  Born early fought for life and made it, (thanks to G-d) he is a two year old that has much trouble walking.  I watched him walk last night, I understood, if he does not start walking slow he can't do it.  He's getting there.  I think all the little things he has accomplished and doesn't even realize he has done those amazing things.  My journey, is not unlike his to where he is now.  Baby steps are where it all begins.  Take it slow and steady and all will work out in the long run!!!    No slips or falls, non needed or wanted.

I WILL WIN THE BATTLES AND THE WAR- WITH G-D'S HELP!!!!

I've got to stop reading your posts in the morning, it starts my day off by making me cry, or almost cry. OK, maybe that's not the worst thing in the world, starting each day by being moved to tears by the beauty in the world. It's like waking up to a beautiful sunrise, every day!

As an aside, an interesting point - the most beautiful colors in a sunrise usually show up when the sun is shining through clouds...I think that's a mashal for the idea that we live our lives most beautifully when we let our light shine through the clouds, not when the light just shines easily straight through.

Silent, the words again are crazy good.  Thanks and I think I cry about once a day now from this site.  I made up my mind, G-d gave us tears, lets use them.

On the aside, you are correct.  It does make the colors sparkle even more when the clouds are out.  Never thought of it till you wrote that!!!

Sci your post was just beautiful. Wow. Your getting so far. And your even making me jealous. i love reading your posts everyday. thanks for the continued chizuk.

hug emoticon

You help me. You are amazing and your posts help me get through the day!!

KUTGW!!

Day 41 part two for a great reason.

MY WIFE IS AMAZING!!!  I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO THANK HER FOR ALL THE GOOD SHE DOES FOR ME!!!! 

sci1977 wrote on 30 Dec 2009 18:55:


I know how you can thank her: keep working on your recovery! 

Kedusha wrote on 30 Dec 2009 18:58:


That's the plan!!!

This was in my email today.

There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, “Great! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins.”

The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets”! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."

The third father opens the window and jumps out.

The third nurse comes out, and asks, “Where's the third father?"

One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window.”

The nurse asks, "Why?"

He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"

:D

Glad to know that you're smiling, too!

silentbattle wrote on 31 Dec 2009 07:38:


Got to smile.  I say smile away!!!