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The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 84361 Views

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 01 Jun 2021 03:56 #369290

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Grant400 wrote on 01 Jun 2021 01:37:
Looks like some good stuff. Why don't you start a new thread so you can keep your journey separate, and give someone an opportunity to read through it and points of the Big Book separately. 

Not sure, I guess it calls into question what the point of a thread is?

I Think it's mostly to document my journey for myself, and to get chizzuk from others who relate to where I am in my journey currently. Which is why I dont plan on just quoting, but adding a line at the end why the idea I am quoting is important to me now.

So Im not sure this endeavour is seprate from my general thread. 

this is all just the thoughts off the top of my head, would love to hear yours or anyone else's
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 07 Jun 2021 05:05 #369554

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Reading Rabbi Shais Taub's book G-d of our understanding, and it's very enlightening. 

Just today I put some of the principals in practice. So I got very frustrated with my wife for not giving me what I felt I wanted/needed/deserved (obviously all in my mind, I did not tell her anything) and I was already schemeing my ways of manipulation and how to get what I wanted. When I stopped and said, G-d right now I just want to do what you want of me.

It took all the pressure off. You see I really wanted something and felt it was important to the core of my existence, hence it was the most important thing in my life, and I would stop at nothing to get it
The moment I asked G-d what he wanted of me, he sure as hell didn't want me manipulating my wife. The imoortance of what I wanted dissapatted (at least in ththe moment). It wasnt m anymore trying to run my life and having to figure ways of getting all the things I "need". All I had to do was sit and say, what would G-d want of me right now. I cant say I know what he wanted me to do, but I can definitely say I know what he didn't want me to do, and I was at peace with that, because what I wanted to do was just driving me crazy. His will is a lot more peacful than mine 
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 07 Jun 2021 05:09 #369556

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Hakolhevel wrote on 07 Jun 2021 05:05:
Reading Rabbi Shais Taub's book G-d of our understanding, and it's very enlightening. 

Just today I put some of the principals in practice. So I got very frustrated with my wife for not giving me what I felt I wanted/needed/deserved (obviously all in my mind, I did not tell her anything) and I was already schemeing my ways of manipulation and how to get what I wanted. When I stopped and said, G-d right now I just want to do what you want of me.

It took all the pressure off. You see I really wanted something and felt it was important to the core of my existence, hence it was the most important thing in my life, and I would stop at nothing to get it
The moment I asked G-d what he wanted of me, he sure as hell didn't want me manipulating my wife. The imoortance of what I wanted dissapatted (at least in ththe moment). It wasnt m anymore trying to run my life and having to figure ways of getting all the things I "need". All I had to do was sit and say, what would G-d want of me right now. I cant say I know what he wanted me to do, but I can definitely say I know what he didn't want me to do, and I was at peace with that, because what I wanted to do was just driving me crazy. His will is a lot more peacful than mine 

To quote step 3 of the steps of insanity
"Made a desicion to have our loved ones turn their wills and their lives over to our care even though they could not understand us at all"

Yes, that's insane, it's about time I realized it 
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 10 Jun 2021 00:14 #369702

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From the SA white book. I'm not sure all of it relates to me, but definitely the last (and may favorite) line


Summary of the Addictive Process: It begins with an overpowering desire for a high, relief, pleasure, or escape. It provides satisfaction. It is sought repeatedly and compulsively. It then takes on a life of its own. It becomes excessive. Satisfaction diminishes. Distress is produced. Emotional control decreases. Ability to relate deteriorates. Ability for daily living is disrupted. Denial becomes necessary. It takes priority over everything else. It becomes the main coping mechanism. The coping mechanism stops working. The party is over.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
Last Edit: 10 Jun 2021 00:15 by hakolhevel.

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 11 Jun 2021 18:29 #369773

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Hakolhevel wrote on 16 Jun 2019 03:36:
Hi everybody sorry for the long delay it's just that the app on my phone keeps crashing every time I try and post or update my thread.

So here it goes after 200 and plus days I had a fa fall or to be exact I acted out in ways that (falling ma makes it sound like it wasn't my fault)

So he here are some observations.

Number 1 check out the thread by real estate mogul there is a discussion regardi regarding cumulative days and streaks. I will just put in my own two cents that I c after being clean for a while it's definitely a different experience and I feel that I have gain a lot and I hope that it will help me in the future

2. There is a saying money can't buy Happiness but it sure can help The same thing can be said about filters they won't make you clean but they sure can help. My most recent stint in the trash can was due to le leaving a unfiltered device around the house. I did not get around to filtering it be I felt I was in a good place and that I w was not in a rush to filter it. I'm not saying i if it wasn't around I would not have acted out. But it has happened before tha That's when the quote candy is not available so easily saner you're thinking takes over before you get to act out.

Been a while since I've been in triple digits. Life is a journey. At this point in time, although I still believe in filters, I dont think it will keep me in the long run.

It's interesting that certain ideas work for a while, but then stop (like when I first joined gye I was clean for over 100 days, just due to the newness of being on a online forum)

For now I'm looking at 12 steps, let's hope it's the final stop.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 29 Jun 2021 19:32 #370339

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Hey HH been following your journey. Happy to hear that you've been finding some perspective in SA literature. Personally SA has been a game changer for me. I'd be happy to discuss my journey with you if you'd like. Good luck, and all the best.

P.S. Admitting that you cannot stop on your own is not branding yourself with a mark of shame. It is simply an honest admission of you're inability to cope, and live  life without indulging in lust

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 11 Jul 2021 05:22 #370679

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Reachstars wrote on 29 Jun 2021 19:32:
Hey HH been following your journey. Happy to hear that you've been finding some perspective in SA literature. Personally SA has been a game changer for me. I'd be happy to discuss my journey with you if you'd like. Good luck, and all the best.

P.S. Admitting that you cannot stop on your own is not branding yourself with a mark of shame. It is simply an honest admission of you're inability to cope, and live  life without indulging in lust

Thanks for following!

Ive been joining dovs call, and listening to some SA talks, but I've been slow on actual work.

Its not shameful to me, the question is do I truly feel it makes my life unmanageable. At this point I think the answer is yes
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 19 Jul 2021 19:17 #371031

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Jewish life is busy, Friday shabbos then Tisha bav. All great reasons not to work the program.

But, at this point in my life, if I dont activly work a recovery program, my issues show up very quickly.

Not making any commitments because they don't mean much (because I don't keep them). The only time I keep them is when I truly realize and recognize how important it is.

So today, I'm talking to myself about the importance of doing something recovery related every day. Shabbos I can take off, but motzei shabbos I need to back at it.

I lusted last night, which resulted pretty quickly in masturbation. 

Let's hope I can get back on track.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
Last Edit: 19 Jul 2021 19:18 by hakolhevel.

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 17 Nov 2021 20:46 #374368

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reallywanttobegood wrote on 25 Jun 2021 17:48:

Hi all,

Today is a momentous day for me bh.

Day 1000!!!!!!!

Overwhelming!

Whoa, where do I even start??

I'm getting emotional...

First off THANK YOU HASHEM!!! I know without a doubt that this wouldn't have been possible without your loving hand guiding me along.

Next up - A huge shout out to "Hashem help me" who has stood by me from day 1!  If not for you who knows where I would be today! You listened when I needed a receptive ear, you advised when I needed guidance and you scram when I needed a wake-up call!

I'd like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1000 + day journey, from someone who's "been there done that" (think porn, masturbation, phone sex, massage, live sex...)

1) Change / recovery is painful. My definition of Hitting "rock bottom" is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change - at this point, change becomes the logical next step.

2) RESPONSIBILTY! - We all have our own back stories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses, we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT even if prostitutes would be falling out of the sky - The buck stops by me!! 

A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is, just picture telling your wife I cheated because I was tired, moody, abused, etc. we all know that logic won't go too far.

3) CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Have someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally have someone who can be your cheerleader and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!

4) Plan Ahead - Be proactive. If you fail to plan - you plan to fail. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when were down and out or caught off guard. When were tired, moody or stressed....
If were proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that were about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you're tired you're vulnerable, then if you come home from a chasunah at 2am don't just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE chaver, text him, make a short term taphsic shvuah, or do whatever else works for you.

4a) Don't become complacent; I'm already in a good place I don't need to be vigilant anymore. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.

5) Take the journey one day at a time. Over these past thousand days I've had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, times of vulnerability when I thought that this all might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!

6) I'm just a regular person just as special as you! If I can do it so can you!!


Great stuff. Yet, yet...

Here's something I've been thinking about. 
What if #1 doesnt apply? What do you do then?
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 17 Nov 2021 21:38 #374370

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Hakolhevel wrote on 17 Nov 2021 20:46:

reallywanttobegood wrote on 25 Jun 2021 17:48:

Hi all,

Today is a momentous day for me bh.

Day 1000!!!!!!!

Overwhelming!

Whoa, where do I even start??

I'm getting emotional...

First off THANK YOU HASHEM!!! I know without a doubt that this wouldn't have been possible without your loving hand guiding me along.

Next up - A huge shout out to "Hashem help me" who has stood by me from day 1!  If not for you who knows where I would be today! You listened when I needed a receptive ear, you advised when I needed guidance and you scram when I needed a wake-up call!

I'd like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1000 + day journey, from someone who's "been there done that" (think porn, masturbation, phone sex, massage, live sex...)

1) Change / recovery is painful. My definition of Hitting "rock bottom" is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change - at this point, change becomes the logical next step.

2) RESPONSIBILTY! - We all have our own back stories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses, we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT even if prostitutes would be falling out of the sky - The buck stops by me!! 

A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is, just picture telling your wife I cheated because I was tired, moody, abused, etc. we all know that logic won't go too far.

3) CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Have someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally have someone who can be your cheerleader and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!

4) Plan Ahead - Be proactive. If you fail to plan - you plan to fail. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when were down and out or caught off guard. When were tired, moody or stressed....
If were proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that were about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you're tired you're vulnerable, then if you come home from a chasunah at 2am don't just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE chaver, text him, make a short term taphsic shvuah, or do whatever else works for you.

4a) Don't become complacent; I'm already in a good place I don't need to be vigilant anymore. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.

5) Take the journey one day at a time. Over these past thousand days I've had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, times of vulnerability when I thought that this all might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!

6) I'm just a regular person just as special as you! If I can do it so can you!!


Great stuff. Yet, yet...

Here's something I've been thinking about. 
What if #1 doesnt apply? What do you do then?

Then why the heck are you here? 
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 Nov 2021 00:00 #374373

Hakolhevel wrote on 17 Nov 2021 20:46:

reallywanttobegood wrote on 25 Jun 2021 17:48:

Hi all,

Today is a momentous day for me bh.

Day 1000!!!!!!!

Overwhelming!

Whoa, where do I even start??

I'm getting emotional...

First off THANK YOU HASHEM!!! I know without a doubt that this wouldn't have been possible without your loving hand guiding me along.

Next up - A huge shout out to "Hashem help me" who has stood by me from day 1!  If not for you who knows where I would be today! You listened when I needed a receptive ear, you advised when I needed guidance and you scram when I needed a wake-up call!

I'd like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1000 + day journey, from someone who's "been there done that" (think porn, masturbation, phone sex, massage, live sex...)

1) Change / recovery is painful. My definition of Hitting "rock bottom" is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change - at this point, change becomes the logical next step.

2) RESPONSIBILTY! - We all have our own back stories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses, we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT even if prostitutes would be falling out of the sky - The buck stops by me!! 

A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is, just picture telling your wife I cheated because I was tired, moody, abused, etc. we all know that logic won't go too far.

3) CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Have someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally have someone who can be your cheerleader and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!

4) Plan Ahead - Be proactive. If you fail to plan - you plan to fail. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when were down and out or caught off guard. When were tired, moody or stressed....
If were proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that were about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you're tired you're vulnerable, then if you come home from a chasunah at 2am don't just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE chaver, text him, make a short term taphsic shvuah, or do whatever else works for you.

4a) Don't become complacent; I'm already in a good place I don't need to be vigilant anymore. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.

5) Take the journey one day at a time. Over these past thousand days I've had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, times of vulnerability when I thought that this all might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!

6) I'm just a regular person just as special as you! If I can do it so can you!!


Great stuff. Yet, yet...

Here's something I've been thinking about. 
What if #1 doesnt apply? What do you do then?

Do the other five things obviously!

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 Nov 2021 00:00 #374374

Hakolhevel wrote on 17 Nov 2021 20:46:

reallywanttobegood wrote on 25 Jun 2021 17:48:

Hi all,

Today is a momentous day for me bh.

Day 1000!!!!!!!

Overwhelming!

Whoa, where do I even start??

I'm getting emotional...

First off THANK YOU HASHEM!!! I know without a doubt that this wouldn't have been possible without your loving hand guiding me along.

Next up - A huge shout out to "Hashem help me" who has stood by me from day 1!  If not for you who knows where I would be today! You listened when I needed a receptive ear, you advised when I needed guidance and you scram when I needed a wake-up call!

I'd like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1000 + day journey, from someone who's "been there done that" (think porn, masturbation, phone sex, massage, live sex...)

1) Change / recovery is painful. My definition of Hitting "rock bottom" is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change - at this point, change becomes the logical next step.

2) RESPONSIBILTY! - We all have our own back stories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses, we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT even if prostitutes would be falling out of the sky - The buck stops by me!! 

A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is, just picture telling your wife I cheated because I was tired, moody, abused, etc. we all know that logic won't go too far.

3) CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Have someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally have someone who can be your cheerleader and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!

4) Plan Ahead - Be proactive. If you fail to plan - you plan to fail. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when were down and out or caught off guard. When were tired, moody or stressed....
If were proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that were about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you're tired you're vulnerable, then if you come home from a chasunah at 2am don't just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE chaver, text him, make a short term taphsic shvuah, or do whatever else works for you.

4a) Don't become complacent; I'm already in a good place I don't need to be vigilant anymore. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.

5) Take the journey one day at a time. Over these past thousand days I've had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, times of vulnerability when I thought that this all might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!

6) I'm just a regular person just as special as you! If I can do it so can you!!


Great stuff. Yet, yet...

Here's something I've been thinking about. 
What if #1 doesnt apply? What do you do then?

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 Nov 2021 05:56 #374387

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wilnevergiveup wrote on 17 Nov 2021 21:38:

Hakolhevel wrote on 17 Nov 2021 20:46:

reallywanttobegood wrote on 25 Jun 2021 17:48:

Hi all,

Today is a momentous day for me bh.

Day 1000!!!!!!!

Overwhelming!

Whoa, where do I even start??

I'm getting emotional...

First off THANK YOU HASHEM!!! I know without a doubt that this wouldn't have been possible without your loving hand guiding me along.

Next up - A huge shout out to "Hashem help me" who has stood by me from day 1!  If not for you who knows where I would be today! You listened when I needed a receptive ear, you advised when I needed guidance and you scram when I needed a wake-up call!

I'd like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1000 + day journey, from someone who's "been there done that" (think porn, masturbation, phone sex, massage, live sex...)

1) Change / recovery is painful. My definition of Hitting "rock bottom" is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change - at this point, change becomes the logical next step.

2) RESPONSIBILTY! - We all have our own back stories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses, we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT even if prostitutes would be falling out of the sky - The buck stops by me!! 

A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is, just picture telling your wife I cheated because I was tired, moody, abused, etc. we all know that logic won't go too far.

3) CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Have someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally have someone who can be your cheerleader and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!

4) Plan Ahead - Be proactive. If you fail to plan - you plan to fail. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when were down and out or caught off guard. When were tired, moody or stressed....
If were proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that were about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you're tired you're vulnerable, then if you come home from a chasunah at 2am don't just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE chaver, text him, make a short term taphsic shvuah, or do whatever else works for you.

4a) Don't become complacent; I'm already in a good place I don't need to be vigilant anymore. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.

5) Take the journey one day at a time. Over these past thousand days I've had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, times of vulnerability when I thought that this all might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!

6) I'm just a regular person just as special as you! If I can do it so can you!!


Great stuff. Yet, yet...

Here's something I've been thinking about. 
What if #1 doesnt apply? What do you do then?

Then why the heck are you here? 

Because on a conscious level I want to stop. Being a faker is no fun. But deep down, I can't imaging life without porn. Life is missing a lot of flavor without it. When I go too long without it, even if I had intimacy with my wife recently, I still crave it.

​And being that at this time, it seems to me that life is better with it ( albeit occasionally so i can rationalize im not a terrible person), I am not motivated to do what it takes to stop.

AT this point in time, I don't think I need to learn another tool. I think I know the tools that will work for me, but I dont followfollow through with them. As he said, change is painful, and to me right now, the pain of staying where I am is not unbearable.

Hence all the following steps mentioned by him really don't matter. 

I personally think this is why a lot of guys are here for a while and keep falling. They never really ccommited to fully living a life without porn (even if conciously they say they did)

sorry for the spelling, the Gye app is really anno aannoyiNg
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
Last Edit: 18 Nov 2021 05:57 by hakolhevel.

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 Nov 2021 05:58 #374388

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For those who know 

Mozhish, da nye khotchish
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 Nov 2021 06:18 #374389

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What I mean is, you certainly have had your rock bottom moments, that's why you are here. No one lives in "rock bottom" all their life (at least no one wants to) so you cannot expect to feel the pain of rock bottom day in and day out. Our minds have a way of burying the pain in order for us to cope with life, otherwise we would go insane. From time to time when we do thongs that are really stupid or "worse than ever" we feel the pain again. Don't sit and wait for another one, you probably know what it feel like, just remember how the last one felt before it was relegated to the unconscious.

There must be something subconsciously nagging you, that's what keeps you coming back, even though you don't really feel it. It's like any pain, we get used to it after a while, until it gets much worse or moves to a different place.

Edit: I didn't see your response when I posted this but I think it's still mostly relevant.
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Last Edit: 18 Nov 2021 12:34 by wilnevergiveup.
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