Hi all,
Today is a momentous day for me bh.
Day 1000!!!!!!!
Overwhelming!
Whoa, where do I even start??
I'm getting emotional...
First off THANK YOU HASHEM!!! I know without a doubt that this wouldn't have been possible without your loving hand guiding me along.
Next up - A huge shout out to "Hashem help me" who has stood by me from day 1! If not for you who knows where I would be today! You listened when I needed a receptive ear, you advised when I needed guidance and you scram when I needed a wake-up call!
I'd like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1000 + day journey, from someone who's "been there done that" (think porn, masturbation, phone sex, massage, live sex...)
1) Change / recovery is painful. My definition of Hitting "rock bottom" is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change - at this point, change becomes the logical next step.
2) RESPONSIBILTY! - We all have our own back stories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses, we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT even if prostitutes would be falling out of the sky - The buck stops by me!!
A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is, just picture telling your wife I cheated because I was tired, moody, abused, etc. we all know that logic won't go too far.
3) CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Have someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally have someone who can be your cheerleader and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!
4) Plan Ahead - Be proactive. If you fail to plan - you plan to fail. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when were down and out or caught off guard. When were tired, moody or stressed....
If were proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that were about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you're tired you're vulnerable, then if you come home from a chasunah at 2am don't just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE chaver, text him, make a short term taphsic shvuah, or do whatever else works for you.
4a) Don't become complacent; I'm already in a good place I don't need to be vigilant anymore. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.
5) Take the journey one day at a time. Over these past thousand days I've had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, times of vulnerability when I thought that this all might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!
6) I'm just a regular person just as special as you! If I can do it so can you!!
