Day 81:Yo!!! Still alive and I haven't exploded. I read an ebook today entitled "know thy will". It's about willpower. I read some awesome stuff in there! 

Here are some them:

1. One part of the brain is called the limbic system. It's the primitive part of the brain. This is where we get desire from. The other part is called the prefrontal cortex. That is where we get the power to say no. So turns out that saying no is just as natural as having temptations. 

2. If you have a strong why then it becomes easier to say no. This was part of my problem recently. I wasn't seeing the point of it all. I was unhappy before, when I was acting out, and I was unhappy when I was sober as well. So it's important to get a strong why. You can call this the "I want" (my long term goal) part of willpower. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It can be as simple as I don't want to lust or act out because I want to live an honest (not double) life. This is very effective for apparently, using your "I will" or "I won't" power takes up much more energy than the "I want" power.

3.When it comes to getting yourself to do things, instead of saying "I have to", say "I get to". The reason this works is because it shifts you from using your "I will power" to your "I want power." 

4. Instead of saying "I can't lust or act out", say "I don't lust or act out. This works for the same reason mentioned above. 

5. I think this is the most important one: no matter how tempted, tired, or how wired our brains are or whatever, we can always say no. 

P.S Grateful that Hashem gave me the strength not to act out last night. Grateful to all of you who responded to my SOS. PROUD of myself for not giving in. Not proud that I started lusting, but proud still, that I managed to stop myself. But you know what? Forget that. Forget the not proud part. You know why? I'm sick of beating myself up. It doesn't help one bit. 

You are getting close to the next challenge here is a gem and a blast from the past that might help us (some of it is not relevant but enjoy)

kutan wrote on 31 Dec 2009 18:28:

GrowStrong wrote on 02 May 2017 06:53:

For the record, I am not.

Day 82: I would have never thought that the last ten days would be the hardest  

no comment, will leave that to the ones who can comment.

Gosh

Last ten days of what?
your life?!?!?!?!?!?

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 03 May 2017 19:31:

I was referring to the last ten days of the 90 challenge​. But I suppose you knew that .

I just thought that by day 80 the urges would have​ weakened somewhat. In reality they only intensified.

Why is this? I suppose it's because, "if nothing changes, nothing changes." So if nothing changed (within me), why would the urges have subsided? 

(In truth, if you only look at this problem as a bad habit that developed and became ingrained within the mind, then it's understandable why you would expect the desire to weaken with abstinence, for refraining should fight the compulsivity that exists within addictions.) 

Your saying good stuff, I think lot's of us had passed 90 Days and then found ourselves back again and sometimes in even worse shape (I just reset my 90 Days last week)!

Why it happens is a good question, but does it really matter if we have the urge or not?? ! Maybe we will have a urge till 120 years!! I think what's important is to start learning that  urge means nothing to us, big deal so you saw a pretty women, most people's don't go crazy when they see something hot!! Yes they are attracted but move on,we somehow get stuck and feel the need to go till the end, we go nuts!! 

May we all have the brains to realize this when we are triggered and learn to smile and say no this is not normal

The excitement of hitting 90 fizzles out relatively quickly. It is helpful in the back of our minds to continue setting goals for auspicious numbers 100, 120, 150, 180, etc. or any number that means something to you. Of course using the one day at a time method.   Those of us who are triggered by anxiety and the necessity for release should be aware that the 90 excitement itself can shake one up to the extent that ironically it brings to acting out.   After all is said and done we have to realize that for many of us 90 is an awesome accomplishment. GYE was brilliant when they designed the 90 day system. So many people that previously couldn't get past 4 or 5 days (if even that) showed themselves it could be done. So even if they fell after 90, they had the courage to start again. Hatzlocha to all.

re the last ten days of your life sugya:

GO HERE!









Can't Truck along if you ain't got steam..

(train along?)

Listened to that call actually Oh and I love that train. His name is Thomas ain't it? Used to be my fav show me thinks. 

Day 83: Trying to do what is right and responsible one decision at a time. 

Day 83: Trying to do what is right and responsible, one decision at a time. 

Hope all is well

KOMTNMW