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My Story, the second first day
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My Story, the second first day 30713 Views

Re: My Story, the second first day 03 Mar 2010 12:30 #56069

  • onelife
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Hey steve, it could be that my thread doesn't work, but my place on the WOH do.  8) 8)

everything is fantastic, specially the last purim as i am ba'al kore of the megilas Ester for a few years already,

it was the first time that i read the megila with no hypocrisy feelings.

your ideas are very good, but let us finish our journey BEHAZLACHA and just afterward w'll speak how to celebrate... :-[

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Re: My Story, the second first day 03 Mar 2010 16:49 #56124

  • silentbattle
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Glad to hear that you're doing well - in your own quiet way, every day, you're revealing hashem's presence in the world! And that's what purim is all about!
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Re: My Story, the second first day 05 Mar 2010 19:49 #56583

  • Steve
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Good Shabbos, OL!

LIFE is GOOOOOOOOOOOOD! and there's NOTHING like it!!

Keep On Truckin'!!

No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: My Story, the second first day 08 Mar 2010 17:30 #56948

  • onelife
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oops!, suddenly i'm on the top of the WOH list. 
i didn't even imagine that ill be there one time.

i need to be careful sevenfold at the moment...
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Re: My Story, the second first day 10 Mar 2010 04:46 #57270

  • Steve
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OL, OL,
HE'S OUR MAN,
IF HE DON'T MAKE IT
I'LL KICK HIS CAN!!!
:o :D :D :D

How's THAT for incentive...?
No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: My Story, the second first day 10 Mar 2010 07:13 #57305

  • onelife
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Steve wrote on 10 Mar 2010 04:46:

OL, OL,
HE'S OUR MAN,
IF HE DON'T MAKE IT
I'LL KICK HIS CAN!!!
:o :D :D :D

How's THAT for incentive...?



excellent!!  :D :D
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Re: My Story, the second first day 11 Mar 2010 07:41 #57490

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OL, you are so close, I bet you can smell it!!! What does it smell like OL? What does it smell like OL?

I'm gonna try to have a L'chaim with you guys, let's figure out how we can do it...

You are the man OL, big gever!!!
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Re: My Story, the second first day 11 Mar 2010 16:14 #57541

  • silentbattle
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You can totally do this, with Hashem's help - keep it up!
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Re: My Story, the second first day 12 Mar 2010 04:28 #57720

  • Steve
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OL, keep hanging in there. The YH KNOWS he's on the rocks! He's gonna try to get you upset about something, gonna try to get you angry and hurt.

DON'T LET HIM FOOL YOU! IF YOU GET AT ALL RESENTFUL THEN THE LITTLEST STUPIDEST THING COULD BECOME A TRIGGER, C"V!!

I've seen him work overtime on ME today!

Temptations I thought I was past, have started to come back.

I was standing at the edge of the pit to Gehennim

My toes were hanging over the edge. Little pebbles were being knocked into the pit, I WAS THAT CLOSE TO MAKING A BIG MISTAKE...

2 TIMES WHAT STOPPED ME WAS KNOWING I WOULD BLOW THE 90 DAYS! I WON'T GIVE IN!!

I RAN AWAY FROM THAT PIT AS FAR AS I CAN, AND I'M STAYING AWAY!!

DON'T LET HIM TRICK YOU, CHAVER!!

TAKE EVERY DAY AS THE ONLY DAY!

AND AFTER DAY 90, DON'T LET HIM TRICK YOU INTO THINKING YOU CAN LET DOWN YOUR GUARD!

Day 91 will be like Day 1. Maybe we won't white knuckle it as much, but we will have the nisyonos, they don't just go away.

I LOVE YOU, OL!!! STAY STRONG MY CHAVER!!

Have an AWESOME Shabbos!!

Steve
No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: My Story, the second first day 13 Mar 2010 21:46 #57968

  • onelife
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thank you all, my best friends!!
89 days so far. just one more day to hit the 90 and  as steve said the YH works overtime, i feel that.
it apears on the street, on the train, everywhere, since i took a little distance from my comp.

yesterday, i was at a shopping center (i go there just when i don't have any other choice), and saw garbage here and there but just the first look which means almost no effect on my journey,
but suddenly i saw a very very big smutz, i took my head down, and after that up to take the second look. 
it was very difficult to me.

it didn't trigger me or something but it was kind of fall.

tommorow ill hit the 90 B"H  for all of you, i don't feel that the lust has disappeard but can be controlled better.
this is the difference between day 1 and day 91.

BEHAZLACHA for all of us, love you guys.  very very much.

BTW, HABA where are you on the WOH??



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Re: My Story, the second first day 14 Mar 2010 00:59 #57973

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Bro, a HUGE hug from me! Wish i could be there in the holy land to celebrate with you!
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Re: My Story, the second first day 14 Mar 2010 12:41 #58041

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Thank you SB. 
for me, you are here celebrate with me, no metter the exactly point you are there.
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Re: My Story, the second first day 14 Mar 2010 13:02 #58042

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Thanks - but I still wish I could share some woodford and brooklyn bakery cake with you!
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Re: My Story, the second first day 14 Mar 2010 14:08 #58048

  • onelife
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oops!, thanks G-d 90 days clean.  
i have never thought ill be there one time...but  i'm here and this is fact.
i'd like to give you few tools if i can  :-[,  for those which are cope with this issue at the begining levels. nothing new besides the fact that strictness on those things brought me here.

1. strict filter - i think this is the main key to recovery. no other choice. i've two filters at my home which switched to a very high protection level and the pass is in my wifes hands, and  at my work a filter that i defined to it to  block all the searching engine including google, yahoo, altavista etc. (all of them). the searching engine is the source of all the falls when we try to find by them just one site that the filter will not block. we all know that we sometimes click on sites that appears at the google results on  the results page number 358... ;D ;D ;D

2.the second thing that i understood is as less as you are exposed to the filth the less strength of the next nisayon it will be. you will feel that filth you see on the street doesn't hit you or trigger you as strong as at the last time you was exposed to it. at the 90 days journey i felt a peak of urge on the days between 15-30, once you pass them you passed 50% from your journey. the begining is difficult as the garbage  images jump to your head and you need to get rid of them. to my opinion this is the biggest and hardest step to complete 90 days clean, this is your turn to do the big hishtadlus.

3. there is no term like "just to see a little of smutz", a little means a near future fall, the recovery should be almost totaly.

4. the last thing is you guys!  without you i wouldn't find myself here. your bomb chizzukim, your warm words, jokes, encouragement everything you gave me and i took as a tool box to the rest of my journey. my deal with steve and HABA. the phenomenal guys SB and IT25. guardureyes about his life work. KG, yiddle and the rest.. ;D to all of you big big thanks.

i've just started  the real battle the day 91...to the 120 years.

love you my brothers very much!!  :-* :-*
Last Edit: 14 Mar 2010 14:10 by .

Re: My Story, the second first day 14 Mar 2010 21:58 #58130

  • Steve
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MAZAL TOV!!!

to the ONE and ONLY LIFE!!!

May HKB"H Bless you with Purity and Cleanliness all your life, until well past 120 years l'chol hapochos!!!

IN ANOTHER FEW HOURS I WILL BE"H FINISH MY 90TH DAY WITH YOU, MY DEAR SWEET WONDERFULL CHAVER!!

Like you said, next stop is days 91-120 years.

May everyone one on this heilige forum, and all of klal yisroel,

be zoche to keep

our own individual Tzitz

KODESH L'HASHEM!!

OL, I am so HAPPY and PROUD of you!!
No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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