Hi, friends.
The first time I started my 90 days journey I thought i will succeed.
but i disappointed.
My problem to stay clean is the triggers that i can see everyday.
everyday i'm going by rail to my work, 7 years already.  there are a lot of triggers i can do efforts to get my head down, but its not simple at all, to do that for two hours  everyday for years.
the second trigger is in my work, i sit near two weman that come to work with very provocative  clothes.
I don't know how to struggle with this daily triggers.
moreover , I connet to Internet "Rimon", and this is the worst filter i have ever seen before.
their filter crashed when i start to challenge it. it miss a lot of inappropriate  web pages, i spoke with them about that, but they didn't fixed their breaches, just a little.
i submit a request to rav Sherlo to do something with that, since it could be that a lot of males fall when thay surf through internet "Rimon".
I havn't got an answer yet.

today i started my first day clean, I wish with your help to succeed.
Thank you, friends.

Dear OneLife,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

I suggest you install K9 on TOP of Rimon. See this page for the info. We have a special filter Gabai who can hold the password for you and make changes when necessary.

To guard your eyes on the way to work, I suggest wearing sunglasses that are painted black on the inside (and leave only a small hole for peering out). Look down while you walk...

At work, maybe you can ask the women to dress less provocatively, or look for another job?

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Welcom OneLife!

You sure have come to the right place! You'll find it to be your second home, i know i have.
And instead of going to inappropriate sites, you'll becoming here instead lol.

You can battle this, and we are all glad to help you

Struggla

Welcome holy Tzadik Yesod,

@ first when I read your challenge I thought to myself, yes he truly has an almost insurmountable nisayon.  Then I remembered "he who comes to purify himself merits Divine assistance, siyata d'shmaya".

With Heavenly assistance nothing is insurmountable just by joining this holy site you have gone a long way and are definitely considered a "bah ltaheir"!! Big Time!!

With tremendous love and respect to a hero member of the Almighty's Guardani Brigade

Noorah from the house of Amram

Thank you all, friends.
after a little break from posting on the forum i decided to try to heal myself seriously and write here, to get a tremendous "chizukim"
from you friends.
Now after a few falls, i'm 6 days clean.
i've a new problem, i gave my pass to the guardureyes "gabbai", and now i can't surf where i "want".
so i achived my friends computer pass, and now the temptation is big since i can surf on his computer, and thats a big problem.
i did it sometimes in the past, this is a really "gezel".

i make an effort not to see the "trigger" in my work, i don't walk next to her room and even not to draw near...
i can't stop work here since i have worked here for already  7 years.
on my rides on the train the problems is little bit reduced beacuse its a winter now  ;D baruch hashem i wish for a winter all the time.

anybody here read the white book? do you recommend?

and hey, why there is no "link" near my name on the "log forum", just "N/A"?

Hi One Life,

I too am new here, and I have already been chizukked by this warm, supportive community. Have you ever tried reading on the way to work? It would keep you out of looking around for a couple hours a day.

As far as your co-workers, I would casually drop burkas on their desks every morning, until they get the hint. JUST KIDDING!

May Ha-shem grant you much hatzlacha in your milchemes mitzvah!!!
Haba

You need to put the link in yourself in the accoutn section.

Keep up the good work.  As for "looking", I just try and stay oblivious to all thats around me once I go out to the world.  Try thinking or reading or just think to yourself all you can do to live instead of what you are looking at.  Keeping positive thoughts in my mind is what works best for me.  Hope that can possibly help you too.

OK, 7 days clean.
i would like to tell you a little secret, which emphasizes the excellent work that guardureyes does.
before i started the last new counting of the 90 days, i fell again and again few  times in a few days.  i really couldn't stop.
as a result i didn't update my chart as well.
i ashamed to update that i had a fall everyday  i was on the verge of despair.
Then i got an email from GYE administrator, which asked me if i'm OK, and why i didn't update the chart.
i'm sure he knew that i fell, otherwise why i didn't update my chart. he gave me shot in the arm to pull myself together.  :-*
i decided not to despair and start my 90 days again.
thank you GYE and for all of you.

Youve only got one life....................and your really living it well. keep up the great work.

Baruch Hashem.
still clean.
i feel that i still can divert myself from the Y"H.
the Y"H still satisfied since the last fall. 
but don't worry, just more a few days and the real battle will start  :D

Dear One Life, Holy Brother, Gevaldige Yid, Nachas Nose....

Welcome to the Greatest Club on Earth.

9 Days Clean!!! WOWIE!! You are such a brave man, struggling for purity!

Kol Haschalos Koshos, but YOU CAN and WILL SUCCEED!!

I am just one day ahead of you, Dec 23 was day 10 for me. So take my hand, and we'll travel the rails and the office hallways together.

I reccommend you signup with Duvid Chaim's 12-step Group when it begins again after Jan. That Program will make you realize the lusting and the desire to look at women for pleasure is only a symptom of something deeper that is pulling you down, what we call RID - Restlessness, Irritability, and Discontent. We get dissapointled when LIFE doesn't go the way we want, depressed when we don't measure up to our own high expectations. That leads us to run away from facing what I call "uncomfortable realities" and numb ourselves from thinking and feeling. And to do THAT we turn to our "Drug of Choice", which in our case is lust, instead of drugs or alchohol.

Just knowing that, understanding that "I'm not a bad person, I'm just reacting wrong to life" was a big part of what has saved me from the need to look at women for pleasure. Now I see I only start having those urges if I let myself get depressed. THE LUST DOES NOT MAKE ME REACT WITH DEPRESSION - ADARABBAH - IT IS THE DEPRESSION THAT MAKES ME ACT OUT WITH LUST.

That is the First Aid you need to apply now, even before getting into any program. Work on moving away from being depressed, stop being hard on yourself. Look at your GOOD qualities. Look what a good friend you can be to others. Look at how kind you are, at the chasodim you do daily. Go out and do more chesed. Help children, tutor a boy, call or viisit elders just to say hello. Recognize that Hashem does NOT make mistakes, and since he made you, YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE! You are a heiligeh Yid with a lot to offrer this world. You can learn Torah and bring shefah and berachah to Klal Yisroel and the entire Olam!

You will see, my dear brother, and I promise this becasue I know it works, that if you build this positive attitude about yourself you will feel less of the need to look at co-workers and strangers who dress or act unsniyus. Yes, you will feel tempted, and you should also use all the eitzas you get here, like reading, thinking about other things, etc. But it will be less of a struggle to turn away, because you will START OUT feeling better about yourself. And every success in this way will reinforce your ability to do it the next time you're confronted. Each time you will succeed.

Stay strong, we will get thru this TOGETHER.

I'll make a deal with you right now: Starting Thurs. Dec 24, you and I will both put on our threads each day a daily chesed we have done. You can do more, but only post one so I don't look so bad, OK? It can be small, like just smiling at someone when you didn't feel like it, or big like a bikur cholim visit or phone call.

So come visit me at Steve's Journal, and I'll check up on you over here. Deal?

Kol Tuv,

Steve.

Dear steve,
i really  excited from your  sincere and reinforce words.
i'm from israel and think that the Duvid Chaim's 12-step Group is not here, so its not practical so far.

your idea to make our journey together is great idea i'm absolutely agree .
put here your thread address and i make an effort to post there daily.
its gonna be difficult and by chizuk of each other we will do that.

i'm a little afraid of the  commitment as at the principle we can  reinforce each other we can weaken each other, if HAS VESHALON one of us fall.  ???
but hey, this is exactly aim of this deal.
by your advices, think positive, think about good things (not woman  ;D...) , about our great children , we gonna do it.
lets start guy...lets start.

10 days clean.

Keep up the good work. 

Think of how much you are progressing 10 days = 240 hours = 14400 minuets = 864,000 seconds Wow!!! Think how pleasure you are giving the Ribona Shel Olam.

You mention "Duvid Chaim's 12-step Group is not here, so its not practical so far".

Maybe we can set up some kind of 12-step Group here in Eretz Yisroel - Guard any ideas

HI Steve and One Life,

I too just reached 8 days so I'm in a very similar situation. I'd be happy to also walk alongside you guys, if you don't mind and hopefully we can all climb together to the 90 day dream we all have. Like in Yaakovs dream we need to be a sulam mutzav artza, firmly entrenched in the ground, taking it one day at a time, but yet with Rosho magea hashamayma, we need to reach for the stars!!

We can do it!
Haba