you welcome habaletaher.  :-*
it's a deal!

steve ??

Thanks One Life, I actually just got my first crown ever (8th day gets you a chazak chazak crown), and looking forward to waering that crown for a good long time. I really need it. I'm too old, too married, too in love with Ha-shem and Yiddishkeit to let this keep on dragging me down and dragging me down!!!!

Looking forward,
HAba

Wow, guys, you are just amazing!! I feel like I'm back at an NCSY KumzitZ, sittin' on the floor in a circle, arms over shoulders with eachother, swayin' back & forth, singin': "Aren't you GLAD you use Dial...(Don't you wish EVERYBODY did?!"  :D :D :D ;D

OK, OL and Haba, Here's the deal - like Haba said, let's follow Duvid Chaim's lead and keep LOOKING FORWARD! Keep the positive approach. Let's work it one day at a time, together. Unfortunately, being in Nu Joisey I'm on a 7 hour delay from both of you, so I'm gonna be playing catch-up a lot to your shaklah v'taryah, and sometimes u might not see my Friday posts till after Shabbos, but I'll bli neder be there. I also don't post much from home, as there is little privacy. But if you need me, CALL OUT for me on my thread, or send me a PM, and ulai HKB"H will arrange that I see it when you need me to.

OL, if one of us C"V falls, each of us will reach out to encourage and strengthen, and help the other back onto the horse. NO DEPRESSION ALLOWED. Do you think you learned to walk as a baby without a few trips? But when you as a baby fell, did you cry AND GIVE UP, or feel GREAT about how far you walked without holding on? And didn't you pick yourself right up again, determined to keep going? OF COURSE YOU DID!! This is what Guard, GYE, and the program stress all the time: IT'S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE, and it's about PROGRESS, not perfection.

Yesterday's countdown began at 10, 9, 8... Today we're at 11, 10, 9.

Where are you two posting your daily chesed? Let's get 1 or 2 in before Shabbos, shall we?

ok. good Steve.
since i live  at the holy land, you will give us all what you learn in duvid chaim group.  ok??
so far 11 days clean.
we gonna keep the good work together.
shabat shalom from israel.

Hey OL just read your post. You have a lot to stand up to - I gotta say. I don't have nearly your nisyonos. So needless to say I'm very impressed. I don't know how I or anyone would handle being in your position.
Just thought I'd share with you some chizuk, because you seem to be doing everything right, all that's left is just the actual work, to take it day by day.
Just like when you build a building. You can't build the whole thing in one day, no matter how hard you try. You have to wait for the cement on the 1st floor to dry before you start on the 2nd floor. So too here, the way to free yourself from this problem is not through some major action which requires strenuous effort. Rather, it's just taking a simple thought of ""H-shem, today I will be sure to act like I'm a ben melech", and living just that day with emunah that He will take you through any nesayon he brings you to. Just living day in day out with that simple thought of ahavas H-shem, letting each day build on the next, letting each time you stand up to a test bind up with all the previous times, just being paitent, and letting H-shem take all your efforts, and build out of them a story of success in your life.
And when things get tough, just try your hardest to remember that as much as you want it, you want H-shem more. And if you really try your hardest, he wiil pick you up, EVEN if it seems impossible. He's really the boss, even over thing which seem impossible.
Hang in there bro, it'll be worth every step.

wow,
kolel, tanks for the warm words.
my nisayon is mainly a negative, and a lot of falls.  :-[
i agree with every word you said, we just  ;D  need to implement this.
  thats not easy at all, and now we gonna do it with you.

big joke!
i surf in GYE site in a private surfing window...  :D :D :D
thats a really paradox!!
don't you think?

13 days clean...

YOU ARE SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!!

Please READ and VOTE on this new poll I just created over here: rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1427.0

OOOOOOOK!.
now two weeks clean.
i saw a liittle trigger today  >  in my work, and now i'm trying to forget it since i had two weeks closed to be totaly clean with no even little triggers.
where i'm ready for that i don't go there, but the problem start when the trigger suddenly appears against your eyes.
it's like a boom to your journey, shows you that you are still addict.

OneLife wrote on 31 Dec 1973 15:29:
It's actually an amazing gift, it REMINDS you not to get too confident and take it easy. The results of that happening are far worse than that of a trigger.

i agree with you kollel,
the Y"H is busy all day in searching  those triggers,
the distressing point is that even a little trigger can throw you to the very deep abyss.
but we are here not to make us sad but happy and clean.
so i'm gonna forget it. 

It helps to know you are an addict.  It makes me not want to stand still in my recovery.

KUTGW!!!!

It's not the triggers that are the problem. It's what we do after we are exposed to them.

The trigs will be there, sneaking up on us, for the rest of our lives. Yeah, we do our best to avoid them, like a nazir wont walk thru a vinyard and we avoid znus on the street, try to walk on the other side of the road, looking or concentrating on something else. We must always be vigilant to avoid them where we can.

The problem is when they call your name, like the candy bar on the kitchen counter or the ice cream in the fridge.

Today's DC Call, beginning the 10th Step, revealed that by leading the spiritual life, our NEED TO RESPOND to the triggers around us will become weaker over time, until it is no big deal to ignore them. This spiritual life is a combo of Living with Hashem AND believing in your own self-worth and goodness BECAUSE Hashem made you and made you good and gave you good things to do with your life, which you do (which is healthy self-esteem thru humility), AND NOT BECAUSE you made yourself and consider yourself the master of your own destiny and success (which is unhealthy self-esteem thru EGO and Geivah).

Once you realise there is so much more to living by striving for real closeness to Hashem, and surrendering AWAY from resentments and EGO, the triggers begin to have less and less meaning to you, almost like an urksome fly you can just swat away. For the first time in my life, I'm seeing the teivah for Znus lookng less like a mountain and more like a molehill. And with each daily success, BH, I get more chizuk that just as I overcame it that time, I can do it again, and more easily.

What am I saying? I'm saying YOU JUST GOTTA GET IN ON THE NEXT DC CALL TEKUFAH. That's waht I'm just saying.

Meanwhile, you can get by by thinking that the chocolate bar and the ice cream are milchig, and you just had a nice juicy tenderloin. Doesn't the craving dissapate in real life when that happens?

If it doen't, just tell yourself you can't have it now, but maybe later. And when later comes, you can use the same ploy again.

Have a super-fantistico-jollygood day!

WOW!!!!!
steve, you write as an expert!!!!!
i read your words 3 times, to understand it deeply, and there is a lot of true in them.
but we have to make the switch in our brain to internalize this approach, and this is a hard work!
anyway i see that the 12 steps are really serious recipe for recovering,
and i would like you to continue give us your insights from DC meetings if you don't care. :-[

i told you before that in ISRAEL there is no DC meetings.. so i'm compelled  to be satisfied only with your course you give us.

did you learn in DC meeting about deals between friends to break free??  :D :D :D :D :D :D