MayanHamisgaber wrote on 03 Feb 2017 12:14:

Good morning MH,

Please bear with my response, I hope it helps. One of my rabbeim one told me this incredible vort. He quoted from
רב צדוק הכהן סימן מג & מד 
 that a person is never given a test they can't pass. And even though many people quote the rebbi of רב צדוק הכהן, the Ishbitzer as saying regarding the story זמרי וכסבי בת צור, (where the leader of a שבט sinned with a woman,) that sometimes we're given tests that we can't pass, my rebbi feels that it's misquote. While that may be true, that's not a decision that we could make. We have to do whatever we can do, davening as much as possible etc. We can never sell ourselves short!

When I heard that, the following idea came to me. Many times, we face a test from Hashem. It can be incredibly difficult and we may feel that we can't pass it. Heck, it might be true, we may truly be unable to pass the test that we see. But that doesn't mean that it's the test that God wants us to pass.
For example, let's say I'm a kleptomaniac (however it's spelled) and I have a very strong urge to steal red sports cars. I'm alone in the desert. This guy drives up in a red Ferrari, steps out of the car, gets bitten by a snake and dies. Forget it, that car is gonna be mine, nobody else is around, it's the easiest steal in the history of the world. So I can safely assume that our Abba doesn't expect me to pass the test. One problem with my theory is that I am thinking of the wrong test. In my story, Hashem actually wanted me to hold strong & not steal the car for 5 minutes. Even though He expects me to steal the car, he expects me to try. If I steal the car after 30 seconds, I failed the test. I failed because I didn't put in 100% & I didn't put in 100% because I knew that it would be impossible for me to control that urge, so there's nothing I could do. 

The main thing to know, is that we don't know, so we gotta do 100% of what we can do.

We don't know what the test is. We're unable to judge & say that we can't pass the test if we don't know what it is.

Similarly, we can't say that we're failing if we don't know what our Father expects of us, we just must do what we can do! 

Keep strong and don't give in to the negative thoughts! Every test you pass will only make you stronger!

Regarding the back and forth if Hashem gives nisyonos one cannot handle........

If i may humbly present what i have been mekabel about this: When faced with a nisayon it is imperative that we face it assuming that we can overcome it unless we have been told otherwise by an appropriate authority in whom we have placed our trust - and who has been granted such authority by einei ha'eida. 

However if someone has unfortunately slipped, it is true retroactively that that was ratzon Hashem. This mehalech explains some of the difficult to comprehend happenings in T'nach where chazal have pointed out that obviously Hashem wanted that particular outcome to have taken place.

In general, this concept is very lofty and easily misunderstood.

Regarding the back and forth if Hashem gives nisyonos one cannot handle........

If i may humbly present what i have been mekabel about this: When faced with a nisayon it is imperative that we face it assuming that we can overcome it unless we have been told otherwise by an appropriate authority in whom we have placed our trust - and who has been granted such authority by einei ha'eida. 

However if someone has unfortunately slipped, it is true retroactively that that was ratzon Hashem. This mehalech explains some of the difficult to comprehend happenings in T'nach where chazal have pointed out that obviously Hashem wanted that particular outcome to have taken place.

In general, this concept is very lofty and easily misunderstood.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Feb 2017 17:55:

I couldn't have said it any better; that's exactly how I would put it down.
My psychologist once told me that someone went to Rabbi Scheinberg ZT"L and said something about how hard his nisyonos are. Rabbi Scheinberg said "You think HaShem expects you to pass every nisayon you face?"

I don't know- from what I've learned all over the place there are many tests that are outside our point of free will and that we can't pass. Not going to write the Torah part now, but I think the other point is true- we don't know which ones we can and can't, so we have to try 100% always.

Workingguy wrote on 03 Feb 2017 16:12:

There are many tests that are outside of our free will!? Doesn't the rambam list only one or two exceptions, and that is to a rasha?

I'm gonna try to write what I feel and even be clear (that's a novelty forI me), and this is not authoritative:

If God wants you dead, you are dead (and there's no getting around it....I guess tefilah always helps).

If He wishes that you get sick, you will be so.

Does Hashem want someone to sin? I can't imagine so, unless an extreme situation pointed out in rambam.

If He is giving a test (which I have no idea how someone will know if it is a direct test from Above), then obviously the choice is yours. That's the definition of a test. Are some people stronger than others? I assume so. 

The statement therefore that "if God is testing you, it is a proof you have the strength to overcome," well, of course, that's His test. Are you special because you have a test? I don't know. I don't even know how a person knows that he is presently being tested. Maybe he did this to himself. A test from God cannot be one sided. It is inherently false. 

Regarding what does He expect? I also don't know. Does God 'expect' anything?

To be continued....

II was looking at a letter from rav dessler today regarding nekudas habechirah, but I don't see him saying "tests" the way you are. It is more that a person might fall or sin on something beyond his ability at that moment.