As far as the mini groups I see nobody has posted on mine in a long time. I think a lot of people are well intentioned but fizzle out pretty fast. Also some people are just not writers.

As far as the curve balls, that's life mate! I am learning the hard way that we better get used to it and accept this reality and prepare as best as possible. The rest leave for Hashem.

Continued hatzlocha!

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 01 Feb 2017 20:57:

Most groups are aborted.

When you get the answer to the God question, let us know please.

Additionally, be thankful that you have calm moments.

From my experience in life:
 Hashem throws the curveballs at us because that's how we grow. We wouldn't grow that much if we were never pushed down. Look at the people in your life that you most admire. Chances are they've had a life full of difficulties or challenges and have overcome them.

Why does Hashem wait until everything is going great to push us down? He knows exactly what we need, how much, etc. He has a plan for us. He wants us to succeed, but it's not up to us to figure out what he wants. We might think he doesn't want us to sin, but in truth, the sinning may be a integral part of our challenge..

cordnoy

my group wasn't aborted it blew up before it got off the ground

it wasn't a god question it was venting

everyone has calm moments 

B'ahtzlacha

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 02 Feb 2017 20:42:

Ok.

Thank you to all of you - my support team. I am thanks to Hashem at day 50. I would never have believed it, but all of you said it could be done so here we are. It is amazing how when you are in the grips of the big fat lie you simply cannot see the way out. Once out, you wonder why it couldn't be done before.

I don't know who any of you are, but you saved my life, you gave me back my sanity, you gave my wife back her husband, you gave my children back their father, and being that I am a public figure in the world of chinuch - you gave a lot of yidden back their leader. If I could meet you, first I would smother you with hugs and kisses, and then I would put my hands on your heads and beg the ribono shel olam to shower you endlessly with brochos!

I know that nisyonos come and it could be that I will unfortunately slip at some time, but it will be different - the yiush I used to experience will not be there - I will know that it can be done. Also, along with the kedusha fixing that has been going on, an incredible character development has begun. My brain is working differently - I am humbled by this experience, and I am more conscious of when I act selfishly. If after 50 days this is what is what's happening, I can only imagine the positive effect 500 days or better yet, 5000 days, can have. May Hashem grant me along with everyone else to be zoche to see that. 

Please celebrate with me. Many of you "held my hand" during tough and challenging days and now you can "hold my hands" to dance.

Thank you for sharing, you can and will make it to your goals! You have our Father backing you up!

HHM
WOW amazing thank you for sharing this with us may you continue with much hatzlacha
and thank you for the personal chizuck that you give me

B'hatzlacha

Thank you for the words of chizuk.

I am also about to break 50 as you know, and it has surely been the most mind-blowing 50 days of my life.

So much growth and barely even cracked the surface.

I have not yet had the wherewithal to share my story yet fuly to the olam, its hard for me and i hope to be able to one day.

Thank you for the brochas and giving me the schut to be a part of your recovery.

 

Day 47 
Feeling a lot of stress here and if i'm honest i'll say that i am hurt by one close to me 
Just bec. one feels that calling at night might be bothering someone does that mean it should be at the expense of me and now my day has been topsy turvy 
Trying not to show how upset i am but i think i am failing miserably    

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 03 Feb 2017 12:14:


I feel you brother. Not fun, to say the least.

Hold on! You are doing so well. Take a deep breath and bend your head and let all the stress fly right over you. Some vigorous exercising would help too! If you need to throw up, write the whole story down and post it!

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 03 Feb 2017 12:14:

Good morning MH,

Please bear with my response, I hope it helps. One of my rabbeim one told me this incredible vort. He quoted from
רב צדוק הכהן סימן מג & מד 
 that a person is never given a test they can't pass. And even though many people quote the rebbi of רב צדוק הכהן, the Ishbitzer as saying regarding the story זמרי וכסבי בת צור, (where the leader of a שבט sinned with a woman,) that sometimes we're given tests that we can't pass, my rebbi feels that it's misquote. While that may be true, that's not a decision that we could make. We have to do whatever we can do, davening as much as possible etc. We can never sell ourselves short!

When I heard that, the following idea came to me. Many times, we face a test from Hashem. It can be incredibly difficult and we may feel that we can't pass it. Heck, it might be true, we may truly be unable to pass the test that we see. But that doesn't mean that it's the test that God wants us to pass.
For example, let's say I'm a kleptomaniac (however it's spelled) and I have a very strong urge to steal red sports cars. I'm alone in the desert. This guy drives up in a red Ferrari, steps out of the car, gets bitten by a snake and dies. Forget it, that car is gonna be mine, nobody else is around, it's the easiest steal in the history of the world. So I can safely assume that our Abba doesn't expect me to pass the test. One problem with my theory is that I am thinking of the wrong test. In my story, Hashem actually wanted me to hold strong & not steal the car for 5 minutes. Even though He expects me to steal the car, he expects me to try. If I steal the car after 30 seconds, I failed the test. I failed because I didn't put in 100% & I didn't put in 100% because I knew that it would be impossible for me to control that urge, so there's nothing I could do. 

The main thing to know, is that we don't know, so we gotta do 100% of what we can do.

We don't know what the test is. We're unable to judge & say that we can't pass the test if we don't know what it is.

Similarly, we can't say that we're failing if we don't know what our Father expects of us, we just must do what we can do! 

Keep strong and don't give in to the negative thoughts! Every test you pass will only make you stronger!

I don't know- from what I've learned all over the place there are many tests that are outside our point of free will and that we can't pass. Not going to write the Torah part now, but I think the other point is true- we don't know which ones we can and can't, so we have to try 100% always.

Workingguy wrote on 03 Feb 2017 16:12:

פנחס is praised (to say the least) for killing זמרי, yet זמרי knew that he couldn't pass the test. The problem was that he made that decision. When we make that decision for ourselves we give up prematurely.