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Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 151108 Views

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 17 Mar 2017 05:01 #308470

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Congrats TigerImeanYosef  on getting to 30 days! You're a HUGE part of my streak, just saying. So between the two of us, u'll have 90 next week (poopoopoo,  knock on anything that's not wood, ba"h iyh, blah blah blah, etc.)! Congrats!

 שבת שלום
Last Edit: 17 Mar 2017 05:03 by bb0212.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 17 Mar 2017 13:12 #308485

So my neighbor did something which hugely upset me and I told him it bothered me, 
but I am not holding onto it. Then, by hashgacha pratis, the next day I listened to Rav Shafier 
The Fight shiur 11, which said exactly that!
We cannot give up our emotional energy and be thrown off balance by things. 
We need to save up our energy to fight the real fights.
I see this as a huge hug from HaShem to learn and reinforce exactly the nekuda I was 
just tested on and passed. Boruch HaShem.
Have a good Shabbos everyone!

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 19 Mar 2017 13:15 #308537

I made another real kesher the other day. This is a huge step forward.
...and I think will help me in a time of need.

I think I may take a page out of Cord's playbook, and not update my chart until I have 
another 30 days. Maybe even when I hit 90. I don't know...just an idea.
I am VERY cognizant of the fact that last time I fell around this time in my count.

Have a great week, everybody  .
---------
When I have time, I am going to listen to shiur 11 of The Fight again, it was so good!
If I successfully work on my emotionality and not get thrown off by the little annoyances of life,
it will have a huge impact on me "being able to fight" and succeeding at staying clean.
Last Edit: 19 Mar 2017 13:17 by Yosef Tikun HaYesod.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 05:07 #308598

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Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 19 Mar 2017 13:15:
I made another real kesher the other day. This is a huge step forward.
...and I think will help me in a time of need.

I think I may take a page out of Cord's playbook, and not update my chart until I have 
another 30 days. Maybe even when I hit 90. I don't know...just an idea.
I am VERY cognizant of the fact that last time I fell around this time in my count.

Have a great week, everybody  .
---------
When I have time, I am going to listen to shiur 11 of The Fight again, it was so good!
If I successfully work on my emotionality and not get thrown off by the little annoyances of life,
it will have a huge impact on me "being able to fight" and succeeding at staying clean.

In DBT, there's a skill called "ride the wave" (Not sure if CBT has it too). It may help you get through the tough moments. I never put much effort into learning that skill, but I do have paper work on it. If you or anyone else are interested, shoot me an email, I'll send you some pics. ( Or if you have access to an unfiltered internet device, Google it. But I joke.)

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 07:51 #308601

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Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 19 Mar 2017 13:15:
I made another real kesher the other day. This is a huge step forward.
...and I think will help me in a time of need.

I think I may take a page out of Cord's playbook, and not update my chart until I have 
another 30 days. Maybe even when I hit 90. I don't know...just an idea.
I am VERY cognizant of the fact that last time I fell around this time in my count.

Have a great week, everybody  .
---------
When I have time, I am going to listen to shiur 11 of The Fight again, it was so good!
If I successfully work on my emotionality and not get thrown off by the little annoyances of life,
it will have a huge impact on me "being able to fight" and succeeding at staying clean.

Nice one, Joe. Good to hear the wonderful progress!
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 12:12 #308621

I woke up today with a nocturnal emission. That kind of sucks.
I am not 16 anymore and I thought I've been doing pretty good.
This may speak to my point (opinion) of sexual release being a need for a man, 
but I am WAY too smart to enter into any argument about that here.
I'm aware that there is a quite opposite view on the subject.
Anyway, not too happy. The consolation prize is that at least I didn't fall 
and consciously masturbate!
Have a great day.
-------
I am a believer in people picking for themselves what they would like to be called.
I would like to be called Yosef. The name Joe may be remotely similar, but it's just not the same.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 12:38 #308622

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Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 20 Mar 2017 12:12:
I woke up today with a nocturnal emission. That kind of sucks.
I am not 16 anymore and I thought I've been doing pretty good.
This may speak to my point (opinion) of sexual release being a need for a man, 
but I am WAY too smart to enter into any argument about that here.
I'm aware that there is a quite opposite view on the subject.
Anyway, not too happy. The consolation prize is that at least I didn't fall 
and consciously masturbate!
Have a great day.
-------
I am a believer in people picking for themselves what they would like to be called.
I would like to be called Yosef. The name Joe may be remotely similar, but it's just not the same.

I am not going to get into the argument of how WAY smart you are  its a need for us men to release sexually, but when its your body doing it for you I don't think you should beat yourself up/down about it.
Unless you went to sleep lusting, and spent your past few days lusting, which it doesn't sound like you are doing, then you should be happy that you got to this place. See it as part of your recovery.
Definitely don't let it get you down.
Use it as an excuse to grow from like everything else.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 12:49 #308624

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Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 20 Mar 2017 12:12:
I woke up today with a nocturnal emission. That kind of sucks.
I am not 16 anymore and I thought I've been doing pretty good.
This may speak to my point (opinion) of sexual release being a need for a man, 
but I am WAY too smart to enter into any argument about that here.
I'm aware that there is a quite opposite view on the subject.
Anyway, not too happy. The consolation prize is that at least I didn't fall 
and consciously masturbate!
Have a great day.


Nothing to get down on yourself about. You didn't do anything wrong at all. If you are a mikva yid, just go and then forget about it. Of course you can ask Hashem to spare you in the future but only if doing so won't get you down. Be happy that despite your obviously being a healthy man, you have controlled yourself so well these past few weeks. Could be the soton was just trying to break your momentum. Tell him to get lost. Have a great day.
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Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 13:29 #308631

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I also don't appreciate wet dreams. Mainly because I find it disgusting. But it happens. It's ok k. I'm not in control of it at all. For the most part, I don't let them get me down anymore.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 20 Mar 2017 14:05 #308644

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I think the Gemara agrees with you about having the right to be called by the name that they choose. It's called המכנה שם לחבירו, but you don't need to come on to the Gemara because of course you're entitled to be called whatever you want out of basic respect.

I'm sure it was done out of endearment though, but I respect you speaking your preference clearly and nicely. Keep up the great work! 

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 21 Mar 2017 17:23 #308743

I'm feeling better today...but not great.
I made it a point to listen to The Fight shiur 11 again...
maintaining emotional balance, not letting things upset me...
or at least actively noticing that they ARE starting to upset me...
and then ACTIVELY choosing to switch gears and keep the big picture in mind.
I need all my kochos to fight and win the important battles.
--------
Unfortunately, with a new selfish neighbor who lies to my face
(says one thing and then does another), I think I'll have plenty of opportunity to practice.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 21 Mar 2017 17:32 #308744

I had unusual siata d'shemaya getting to an important meeting today, 
(I clearly felt HaShem helping me to get there on time).
But then the meeting was an absolute disaster!
He went back on what he had said over the phone, and the whole meeting
was basically a waste of time (mine and his).
Hard to put these two disparate things together.
Any ideas what HaShem was doing
(specifically, any ideas that may also make me feel better)?

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 21 Mar 2017 18:14 #308746

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Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 21 Mar 2017 17:32:
I had unusual siata d'shemaya getting to an important meeting today, 
(I clearly felt HaShem helping me to get there on time).
But then the meeting was an absolute disaster!
He went back on what he had said over the phone, and the whole meeting
was basically a waste of time (mine and his).
Hard to put these two disparate things together.
Any ideas what HaShem was doing
(specifically, any ideas that may also make me feel better)?

I am meeting people often for  business.
While the only purpose of the meeting is for us to do business together.
Often times the meeting isn't going to direction we hoped.  I still feel it was worth it because I from my side did proper hishtadlus, and it clears the field where I go from here because before meeting my toughs was that if only I would have a face to face meeting thing would end differently. Now with clearly that this one is of the table I can think more clearly and a vision where and what my next steps to be ein simcha khaturas hasfikos.
The sayate dishmia on you being on time was important because being late to an appointment makes you look not honest enough, 
I hope you will get some clearly and chizuk from this.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 21 Mar 2017 18:15 #308747

Check out this hashgacha pratis story that "makes sense":
(Gevura posted the story...I had NO idea there were any advertisements on the page. I guess mine thankfully get all blocked out...I am so sorry)
Yes, it would be FAR better had the family not been viciously attacked by 3 armed robbers,
(that part is still totally nistar and cannot be easily understood),
but HaShem set up the refua before the makeh and had the perfect guy in place to handle 
the situation. And HaShem had him decide just then to have his gun ready in his hands cleaning it, 
and to look through/calibrate his sights and see the attack in progress...
in order to stop it and save the family!
WOW.
Last Edit: 21 Mar 2017 18:44 by Yosef Tikun HaYesod.

Re: Road to 90 days (how I succeeded, and you can too) 21 Mar 2017 18:37 #308748

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Nice story, but the link contains many very objectionable advertisements and images. Perhaps you would remove it. I've taken the liberty of pasting the text of the story below:

Ex-Army Sniper Takes Out Neighbor’s Home Intruder From Bedroom Window

Jeremy Elmore, a 42-year-old retired Army Sniper currently residing in El Paso, Texas, is being hailed a hero after he saved a neighborhood family from 3 violent home intruders late Tuesday evening.

Elmore, who retired from the Army at 41 after giving 21-years of service was spending the night home alone as his wife and 3 young children are visiting family members in Indiana.

According to Elmore, he wasn’t quite ready to go to sleep when he retired to his bedroom around 1:15 AM- so he decided to engage in one of his favorite activities – breaking down and cleaning one of his firearms. The firearm that Elmore decided to break down and clean was his M24 Sniper Riffle (officially referred to as the M24 Sniper Weapon System).

At approximately 1:50 AM – after cleaning and reassembling the rifle, Elmore rested it on the sill of his bedroom window to adjust its scope. While adjusting the scope it unintentionally landed on one of his neighbor across the street’s open windows; Elmore told police and reporters that he was amazed at what he saw happening inside. Elmore told local ABC affiliate reporter Karen Lodestone, “I honestly thought I was dreaming hallucinating at first – it took over a minute for the situation to fully register in my brain”.

What Elmore saw through the high-powered scope on his riffle was – his neighbors, Fredrick and Lydia Cole tied to chairs in their upstairs family-room. The couple’s 2-children Douglas (11-years-old) and Daniel (6-years-old) were sitting near their mother – also tied to kitchen-style chairs.

According to Elmore, the mother and children had what looked to be duct-tape around their mouths and 3 masked-intruders appeared to be focusing primarily on Fredrick Cole. The 3 masked-intruders were holding handguns and were acting in a very violent manner – often destroying the Cole’s property or striking Fredrick Cole in the face with their pistols.

Things seemed to be escalating quickly at the Cole residence and Elmore used his bedroom telephone to call 911. After notifying authorities, Elmore continued to monitor the situation across the street. According to Elmore, while waiting for the police to arrive things continue to escalate rapidly at the Cole residence and he was greatly concerned for the family’s safety. Elmore told reporters that his military training and instinct kicked in and he knew that he had to do something to intervene.

Elmore proceeded to load his rifle with the custom 7.62 x 51mm ammunition and stationed himself at his bedroom window. As Elmore continued to watch the situation unfold across the street, the home intruders became increasingly more violent. As one of the intruders held his handgun (later identified as a .45 caliber Taurus 1911) to Mrs. Cole’s head – Elmore took the first shot from his riffle immediately striking his intended target.

According to Elmore and members of the Cole family – the home intruder instantly fell to the floor dropping his weapon in the process. The remaining 2-home intruders were visibly stunned and confused by the incident and gave Elmore enough time to fire 2 additional rounds striking both remaining intruders before they had an opportunity to retaliate.

Police arrived shortly after Elmore’s intervention and discovered 2 of the 3 home-intruders dead upon their arrival. The surviving intruder – since identified as Charles L. Brooke was treated for his injuries at a nearby hospital and has since been arrested and booked into a county jail.

Among those singing praise for Elmore’s heroic actions are the members of the Cole family who have told reporters they owe their lives to Elmore and will never be able to thank him enough or fully express their gratitude for the retired Army Sniper.

Police are still investigating the home invasion, however, during a brief press-conference, told members of the media that they believe the invasion was motivated by a now-defunct business deal Fredrick Cole had been involved in throughout mid-2016. They believe the intruders intended to harm the Cole family and are grateful for Elmore’s intervention.

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


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