Yosef, happy siyum went well. You are at 17 days -gimatria TOV and tomorrow is iyh CHAI   together it's a "good life".  Keep it up!

Life is good! Boruch HaShem!
----------------
Bli ayin hara, not only did I just make a siyum, and actually complete something that
was really hard for me, but my boss just gave me a big raise!!!
This was unexpected and I didn't even ask for a raise!

I had stepped away for a few minutes, and saw that he called me up
and left a message saying he wanted to speak to me as soon as possible.
This was VERY strange, and I was frankly pretty nervous.
Who knows what he wants? Everyone actually tries to stay away from him, since he is
known to be tough and demanding, and easily angered. It's not uncommon to hear
him literally yelling at someone (and everyone around thanking G-d that it's not them).
I froze in my thoughts. And didn't call him back right away.
A few minutes later, he called again! Oh boy, HaShem, help me, I thought to myself.
And then, after all that, he tells me that I'm doing great and he wants to give me a 25% raise!
Stunned silence. He says: is that o.k. with you, or should I give it to someone else?
Yes, that would be great. Thank you for thinking of me. 
And I left saying Boruch HaShem...unbelievable.
Now, several people asked me what did he say. I just told them that everything is o.k.
There was no problem. He values my work and wants to see me here on time and to continue
working hard. I couldn't tell them the full truth and they probably wouldn't believe it anyway!

Yosef, looks like a lot of things are falling into place for yoy. Your learning, parnossa, and kedusha. We pray it continues (but remember life has it roller coasters). Maybe daven for your cheering squad that we should be granted such growth also!

Wow. Amazing. 
You should know, I really feel that my life started to really come together after I joined gye. 
It could be just siyaata dishmaya. 
It could be that our hatzlocho in life is dependant on inyanei kedusha. 
It could be that we start to introspect and deal with all the things that were holding us back from being successful in life, instead of running away from them like we were doing for years. 

And it could be a combination of all the above.

And it could be none of the above.

KUTGW!!!!!

Una,

I agree with you completely in theory, but somehow I find that things are more stressful and harder now than before I was dealing with this. It is more real and more meaningful and so I wouldn't necessarily trade it, but I don't know if I can say that things fell into place as much as that I've been constantly challenged to confront issues

I have NO idea how HaShem works everything out in this world.
I do think the timing of really growing in this area of kedusha,
finishing Zerayim, which was very hard for me,
and this happening are somehow connected.

But at the time, I really thought I could be in trouble with the boss...
and who knows? Given his temperament, I could have even been fired.
What would we have to say then?
That HaShem is in charge. He knows what He is doing. And He is just preparing me
for something better. But it would be hidden and difficult to deal with, for sure!

I'm also getting A LOT healthier and have lost significant weight, which would fit in very nicely 
with what you are saying.

Anyway, HaShem loves me and is taking care of me....as He is with all of us.
It's just a whole lot easier to feel His love when He helps you
finish a difficult Seder, and then the next day, gives you a big raise !

I pray for everyone to feel HaShem in their lives, and pray also for this to continue.
Your post, Una, gives me hope and reason to be optimistic.
(ignoring your last line which you edited in there, I suppose, to cover your bases)

HaShem blessed us with last minute Shabbos guests.
This is uncommon enough, that I feel that He is giving me more and more opportunities
to do mitzvahs and get close to Him.
And my wife, to her credit, agreed to have them.

Yosef you are up to 21!  Gematria "Ach" tov vochesed yirdefuni kol yemei chayai!

Boruch HaShem, some Yiddin are rich. 
A guy I know has an indoor swimming pool in his house, and invited me and my son to swim!
He didn't have to ask twice, that's for sure! Anyway, after a quick change of plans, we 
had a blast. The kids got on a huge raft, and the "shark" (me) had to swim underwater
and try to capsize the "boat" and "eat" (hug) the kids.
We did some laps, played catch with a ball, and had a lot of fun.
The guy just hung out in the jacuzzi and didn't swim at all.
Anyway, after tiring myself out, I left the pool and walked around.
Amazingly, there was a mikveh there off in the corner. It doesn't get any easier than that,
and it doesn't get any cleaner or more private than a personal mikveh in a private home.
So, seeing that HaShem "pulled all these strings" and led me to this mikveh,
I overcame my aversion and went in. I pray that I will stay tahore and not waste seed ever again.

Sounds like tons of fun! Nice to be hear about some plain, clean, stress free fun that people from the forum get to have. 

Workingguy wrote on 05 Feb 2017 23:35:

Watchin' the super bowl can be stress free fun unless you have the pats minus three.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 05 Feb 2017 22:13:

Swimming is a great form of stress relieving exercise. Make sure to stay good friends with this guy! Keep up the great job you are doing - it wasn't so long ago you were convinced you couldn't do it. Don't you feel liberated?! Now that you got over your aversion enjoy the mikva more often.

cordnoy wrote on 06 Feb 2017 01:13:

Then again, all's well that ends well.

Beautiful to hear your progress.

Hook me up with your friends. Sounds like fun.

Day 54 bli ayin hora

Hard to believe how changed my life has become. It's almost as if I gave in my brain to the mechanic and he did a tune up. Maybe some of you think I am exaggerating so read on. Those who have followed my thread (My story and G-d bless GYE) are aware that for the last approx. 4 years I have been on psychiatric medications. The doctor who boruch Hashem saved me from cracking up rch"l has had me on a "cocktail" of 3 medications, all at a very low "maintenance" dose. Being that GYE has refurbished my "kop", with the doctors permission I weaned myself off from one of them successfully, bli ayin hora. This had been attempted in the past but had not been successful. What should I say? You guys along with all the other GYE tools have simply rewired my brain! Fortunately most of you don't really understand the ramifications of this, just believe me - this is NOT maasim b'chol yom.   Lav b'chol yom misrachesh nisa.  It would be nice to dream that maybe I could soon try the next med but from what I understand, that's very risky (of course it would only be attempted with dr's full haskama)- but you never know.........