I completely relate to the issue of looking at women. This was the hardest thing for me to control. I travel regularly on buses and trains so there are always women to look at. When I would walk to a bus stop or get on a train, my YH was already getting revved up for the ride.

BH, by working the steps, I have been able to get over this as well. These are some of the things that work for me:
1. Start with a prayer to Hashem to help me.
2. Prepare myself in the right frame of mind before going outside. Talk to myself and make sure that I am calm and ready to keep my eyes to myself. Shut down the YH-induced excitement.
3. When walking behind a woman: look up at the sky, look down at the ground, study my hands, hum a tune, i.e. do anything but stare ahead.
4. Sometimes the challenge is long and difficult, e.g. sitting on a train for 45 minutes across from a pretty woman in the summer. Find something constructive to do. Read a sefer. Work on my computer. 
5. When I feel that I am struggling, I reach out for extra help. I call out to Hashem (silently) to help me and take this lust away from me.

Practice makes progress.

Blessed be Hashem. I have made it through another day free from porn!! May He continue to strengthen me against my YH.

I had a tablet that was able to connect to the internet. Hashem had kept it from allowing internet connection but I kept trying until I did, then boom! I fell. So, I took it and threw it in the trash. I did fine without it. It was for reading so I just bought a kindle.

willandtonya wrote on 23 Nov 2017 08:22:

What are you planning on doing to your kindle once you start accessing erotica on it?
If you don't mind, I was thinking of setting up a fund, where people can donate their electronics instead of trashing them, and we will sell it on eBay. Proceeds will go to GYE. I think this is a win-win situation for everyone.

I have met numerous people over the years, everyone might of had a different problem. For some it might be depression, low self esteem. For others it might have been the opposite. Or 100 different reasons.
For some they needed to let go and let God, for others they need to start taking responsibility for themselves and not blame everything on God.
However, no one had a device problem. It was just a symptom, not the problem. Find your problem and get help.
I wish you much Hatzlocha!

Hi Willandtonya,

When you get a chance do yourself a favor and read your previous posts thoroughly. There are some good stuff in there. Take inventory to see if some earlier postings are still in action.

B'Hatzlacha

lionking wrote on 23 Nov 2017 13:52:

I don't know what that means. There are plenty of people who are normal, healthy individuals, and yet, they have a desire for erotica. A device, connected to the internet, is an easy, accessible tool for fulfillin' (which will never happen) that desire.

cordnoy wrote on 23 Nov 2017 14:15:

Cords, were you responding to me?
I'm not sure what you meant.
Perhaps I wasn't so clear what I meant. This  user has in the past year posted about his struggle with lust and how shmiras einyim is his problem, then he writes that he kept trying to access stuff on his tablet, finally when he got through and fell, his response was to trash the tablet and get a kindle instead.
My question was, what would keep him back from trying to satisify his lust/desire on the kindle, just because there is no built in browser, he can still access erotica on it?

Thanks for your replies everyone. But to answer the question why get a kindle instead. It is an e-reader that only has books, and I don't think porn mags are available. Erotica books don't even interest me and never have, no have I even thought of them. It is a visual thing for me, actually seeing it, not reading. 

Anyhow, thank all of you for caring, it means a great deal to me. 

I love this, lion! Where do I get such clarity?? 

LoveU,Hashem wrote on 24 Nov 2017 00:02:

I Wish I have even a drop of clarity. I still feel like I'm treading water and as long as I don't establish a positive life cycle I will end up falling again. Almost like the lull before the storm. In life a person is always moving if not up then it's down. There is no complacency allowed.
Time to start living...

Of course we need to understand and deal with the underlying causes of acting out. At the same time we must be vigilant and wise regarding devices. Many, including myself have had strong urges, but were in places where there was no access at that point to pornography. Had there been easy access at that point, who knows what would have happened? Also, i assume we all know of people (or ourselves) who fell in due to accidentaly typing in a wrong web address. Avoidance of devices and filtering strongly what we have are vital ingredients in our recovery plan (at least for most people). A last point - Gedolei Yisroel have stated that Hashem gives a special shmira to those who inconvenience themselves and follow their instructions in avoiding unnecessary internet and filtering whatever is necessary. Wouldn't we all want to be the recipients of that segula?  

Hashem Help Me wrote on 24 Nov 2017 12:20:

HHM,

Your positivity is contagious, I hope, B"H. Keep it up.

Regardin' filters: I've said this before, but I'll say it again, perhaps slightly different than in the past. Good filters prevent accidental typin' and make it more difficult for a person with a healthy or perhaps even slightly elevated desire from accessin' inappropriate stuff. However, as we see on gye over and over again, those of us who are addicted, and even those of us who have strong desires for porn, not only find ways to bypass those filters, but the filters in place make the desire even stronger.

Now, the counter argument is that אף על פי כן. We must make it tough and break, kill, destroy, annihilate that yetzer. Perhaps. And the argument is also that if that's what our gedolim say, then there must be a special סייעתא דשמיא for those individuals. Also perhaps.

And because of those arguments, I generally shut up. (And I will not speak about myself that I don't have a filter and after tryin' and tryin' and tryin', it is quite possible that I cannot even have a filter for my sobriety/recovery, but in no way do I advocate that for others.) But, I noticed that there is a Sunday session at the holiest of holies Agudath Israel convention this weekend. For me (who admittedly is not as big of a מאמין as you and others are), I need to hear these גדולים at least mention that there is such a  counter thought, or  advocate that they (people like me) should seek individual professional or rabbinical help to determine their מהלך. To lump everyone in the same boat (sailin') and scream "filters" from the podium does not do justice for the predicament that some of us find ourselves in. 

I will be listenin' closely. Probably, they will end up talkin' about drugs or somethin'. 

B'hatzlachah to all

Cordnoy, as usual your comments are wise and appreciated. I was careful in my post to write the words in parentheses "at least for most people". You and others have made me aware that there are specific people who do better without the filters. However as you have expressed in the past, most people are not addicts but rather have yetzer hora issues at various levels. I am sorry if i was not clear enough with that parentheses quote that addicts should follow the guidance they have been given. My point was that most people are much better off with as much protection as possible.

It would definitely be nice if at the convention the entire subject of GYE would be brought up. Many people are suffering and BH now, many people are being helped. Although it is a sensitive issue to be spoken about publicly, it appears maybe its time has come. And yes, the plight of the addict should be openly discussed and it should be clearly and unequivocally stated that there is no "one size fits all" mehalech. Of course that would need to be done with wisdom, for once exceptions are made, people tend to be morah heter that much easier.

Everyone, with whatever strategies they are using should be blessed by Hashem with a good Shabbos and tremendous success in extricating themselves from this formidable challenge.

Guard actually spoke at the Agudah convention a few years ago.

WRT to filters... I understand that there are those people for whom a filter can be triggering because it reminds them of their problem and make them obsess over it. But at the same time I think that a very basic level of filtering to protect against accidental exposure makes sense. It should be considered baseline normal just like you would have Antiviruus software on your computer. Besides which, the default basic settings on most filters also helps block a lot of the malware and scams out there. So I don't think that should be something to worry about obsessing over. 

Just my 0.02...

Reporting from the frontlines..

As much as I thought otherwise, filters have helped me tons!! I'm far from sobriety so I don't know if it's an effective long-term solution, but it's the minimum hishtadlus that I can do, and it was a huge help in the last month since I installed one. Limiting my internet access, in general, is a huge help for me too.

Cheers to a clean day!