Stuart wrote on 08 Nov 2010 13:48:


yes. only today makes a difference.

And, it makes a WORLD of a difference.

k

Stuart wrote on 07 Nov 2010 05:19:

I forgot to add one more important prevention, I've been abiding to - Not watching movies and tv shows. 

Even if I have the opportunity to watch a clean show (say an action or violent flick), I will try very hard not to.  My past experience is that in order to qualify to be in front of a camera, you must be good looking and/or wear tight fitting clothes.  It may not feel like a trigger at the time, but I think seeing something definatley has an impact later on at a week moment.

I am not sure if this has been discussed before on the forum, but I was thinking of a nice way to monitor our lust level by comparing it to the colour coded terrorism threat US Homeland Security uses. 

Green – LOW risk of terrorist lustful attacks
Blue – GUARDED risk of lust attacks
Yellow – ELEVATED Significant risk of lust attacks
Orange – HIGH risk of lust attacks
RED – SEVERE risk of lust attacks

I would presume that most of us reading this are always in the Blue/Yellow zone, and we frequent the orange zone many times throughout the year.

Just like the different levels triggers Homeland Security specific actions, we too should be prompted for different measures, such as reaching out to others, Davening to Hashem, reviewing GYE material, writing down 12 step work, and whatever measures necessary to keep our ground (read neshama) safe.

Oh, by the way I feel like I am on an ORANGE alert this week.  I've got a very busy snd stressful week of work ahead, my wife is asur, and the last couple days I've already started doing some dumb google searches when I was bored.  My first specific action is to fight this ONE day at a time, by the measures mentioned above.

Have you ever been a Rainbow Coalition?

Stuart wrote on 14 Nov 2010 21:04:


Great analogy!  If only the government would devote 1% of the resources they spend on national security to GYE - it would accomplish far more in protecting our nation than the other 99%!

ORANGE ALERT!!

Reach out to someone.  The problem with giving in to an orange alert is that you'll then be facing multiple red alerts!

Hatzlacha!

Vort I heard on Parshas Vayishlach from R’Y Frand

When Yaacov’s family was meeting Esav, the torah mentions Leah and the handmaids came forward and then the children.  But by Rachel it says “Negash Yoseph ve Rachel”, “Yoseph and Rachel came forward.”  Why did Yoseph go first, but all the other children went after their mother? Rashi explains that Yoseph said, my mother is so beautiful, maybe this rasha Esav will look at her.  I will stand opposite her and block him from looking at her.  From here, Yoseph was zoche to bircas haenayim.

Ok that’s nice, but how long was this going to last?  Eventually Esav was going to look past Yoseph and see the beauty of Rachel.  What’s the point?

The Tolne Rebbe, Rav Yitzchok Menachem (I think) answers with a mashal.  After the rebbe had his first son, he wanted to name it after his shver, Yaacov Yitzchok.  Obviously he couldn’t name it the full name as he carried the same name Yitzchok.  The problem is that his shver held that if the full name of the nifter is not given it’s as if it is gurnished! What should he do?  He wanted to honour his shver with the name, but this was against his shver’s own kichsaah.  He sent this question to the Gerer rebbe, who responded, “Something is better than nothing!” (Sounds better in Yiddish).  True, it’s not the full name, but a name is better than no name after him.

The same applies here with Yoseph.  Shielding Esav even for a few moments is better than no moment of protection.  When eshes potifar was seducing Yoseph, he was trying to say no.  Finally she was able to convince him to say, ok not today, but tomorrow. Yoseph agreed which ultimately saved him from this test. 

Many times we are faced with challenges that appear too huge to resist, but resisting for just a moment is better than nothing.  At least we should try saying not today, maybe tomorrow, or not this afternoon, not this hour, in another ten minutes.  We learn from Yoseph, pushing off even temporarily has its virtues!

Hello Stuart,

I just wanted to drop by and say hello in your thread.

Looks like you're doing great.  You've got a very serious plan for recovery, and it looks like you're working it, too!

--Eye.

hello stuart

Hi,


Yellow

Overall things are going well with me.

The other day my wife asked me to pick up a prescription on the way home from work.  She made sure to call ahead of time to ensure if was ready for pickup.  I went to the pharmacy, waited in line for about 5 minutes, asked for the drugs.  It wasn’t there.  Apparently, my wife told me the wrong pharmacy to go to.  So I went to the correct pharmacy, waited in line, and asked for the drugs.  The pharmacists tells me that the prescription the Doctor wrote up was not sufficient, so he made me go to the doctor’s office (next door luckily) to get it revised.  Went to the doctor, got the script, back to the drug store, and a ? later I made it home with the drugs!

So all along I’m thinking, boy what a tzadik I am.  I’m not getting mad at my wife, didn’t rant out at the pharmacists, and can’t wait to tell my gye friends.  Then it dawned on me that I actually prefer this “scavenger hunt” then being at home, doing the homework, put the kids to bed routine.  I even find myself eating dinner after coming home, and continue eating even after I am full as I am avoiding the next step. 

Sorry for the long rant, but the point is that I find that I sometimes dread this “family time” and I believe this is an attitude that I need to improve on.

Stuart wrote on 28 Nov 2010 04:30:

ONLY SOMETIMES!  Wow, that's a lot better than most!  It is commendable that you are thinking to improve in this area.

By the way, given the choice to deal in drugs or be pounced on by a bunch of whiney kids, what do you think most people would choose?

--Eye

Nice one, Eye.

Today I added another measure to the list (too bad didn't do it a day earlier to make it on the chizuk email).  I installed web chaver on my computer. Unfortunately it took a bunch of slips to make me do this.  Now I feel bullet proof.  Nothing can get through me now.
Yeah right! I know that's not the right attitude.  I still need to work on my internal traits.  Working the steps (which I've been kinda out of it lately) together with all the measures will hopefully keep me clean.