I must remind everyone that according to GYE you must be fully awake for an ejaculation to be considered a fall. 

I am fighting the urge, and praying Minchah seemed to have helped.


Be"H!

I have made it to Day 19 without suffering any MZ"L. If it happens while I am sleeping, so be it.  I suppose I may still feel bad about it, but I will let nature take its course. May Hashem's will be done.
Prayer had taken the edge off a bit for a little while.

What's so scary about wet dreams?

Shlomo, a wet dream per se is not scary.  If it happens, it happens and I had no control over it.  Usually what happens is that I will start having one, and I realize what is going on and will wake up.  So it doesn't happen, but it seems to linger the next day, and I have had it happen in the past, that when things get to that point, if I allow the thoughts to flow through, I don't have to do anything else other than think and it will happen.  So this is what I was afraid of yesterday, that while I was conscious, I would MZ"L without physically or actively trying to induce it by looking at objectionable material or using hands.

Although, according to the book, The Garden of Purity: for Men Only, by Rabbi Shalom Arush, nocturnal emission is a big deal, and that one should go to a mikvah afterwards, and make tikkun for the lost souls lost due to the nocturnal emission....Actually, a very interesting read.

He belongs to the breslov sect. They make a big deal about nocturnal stuff. A lot of other sects of Judaism don't.

I can't remember a single time I saw someone on gye gain from being worried about it. I do recall a lot incidents where it affected them negatively.

inastruggle: thanks for the clarification: still an interesting read, because in some places it sounds very RC Xian.
 

B"H,
I am happy to report that after the nisayon of a few days ago, my body has calmed down, and it wasn't a relentless urge.  No MZ"L, or even a wet dream.  --  (No, I am not really obsessing over that point.)

B"H vBe"H, after the nisayon, I have had some clarity about my life goals and situation, and decided to drop the computer job, and go back to working with developmentally-disabled full-time.  The computer job, while paying a lot better, is a temp job, and I was definitely not effective in doing my work from home.  I have been anxious even when not specifically trying to act out in a sexual way, and I can't focus on the computer stuff.. Eventually, I want to go back to school to get my Masters and working with developmentally disabled will be a part of that.

A gut shabbes, everyone!

And why do you care if you ejaculate without coercion on your part?

Rav Arush is a very holy man and there may be a lot of scary stuff about wet dreams, but I am not at that level and I leave it up to God. Honestly, and I know this is controversial, where I am at now I couldn't care less about hell. Hell is all I cared about before SA and I didn't live then. I've had enough hell just in my life on this world. Now I'm living, thinking about hell will have to come later (maybe).
 

Shlomo24: Have you ever been dreaming in what seems to be a wet dream, but you wake up suddenly when you realize what is happening?  This happens to me, and it had happened that I had such a dream, but the lustful feelings that accompanied it continued through my conscious, awake hours.  I was worried that mz"l would occur merely on thought, but thought that if the wet dream was "supposed to happen", then maybe I wouldn't be culpable.

I was able to fight the urge, Be"H, and found a peace again.  So I think my notion of a wet dream "supposed to happen" was a trick of my yetzer hara.

 

I'm impressed by your choice to quit the computer job.

I'm happy to hear about you getting over this recent hard time.

KUTGW! and KOMT!

A sheynem dank, chaverim, for helping me through my difficult period.
I needed to hear the very common sense advice, which helped me to persevere. B'ez"H. 
Now I am also working on a path to becoming more frum. 

I  have a question for the frume yidden: Would you say that certain restaurants that are kosher cater more to a "conservative" Jewish understanding than an "Orthodox" one? What I mean to say is that suppose a place sells their branding on other items, including one with a seemingly double-entendre that would be considered immodest. Would such a place then be considered to be catering more toward a "conservative" Jewish market? 
 

MeyerLemon wrote on 01 May 2016 18:08:


I do t know if they're catering to a more conservative crowd, but they are unlikely to get the good kosher supervision. The Orthodox Union, if I remember correctly made a restaurant named Jezebel change its name.

MeyerLemon wrote on 01 May 2016 01:02:

Yes. I am very familiar with what you described. I'm still not understanding you completely though. What bothers you, the wet dream or the thoughts that accompany?

The lingering thoughts while awake, and the feeling that something "should have" happened.