Have you listened to Rabbi Singer's audio series? It's available free on his website.

I have listened to some of his audio clips, but he goes by so fast, which is way I prefer to sit with his book and my Christian bibles to compare what he is saying. 

Pesach, (G-d willing) brings in day 14 for me, and it there are a couple of challenges.  My priest of course, is still bugging me.  To say that you are leaving Greek Orthodoxy for Orthodox Judaism is like...well truthfully, to leave the Greek Orthodox church for any religion is bad, but I think to say that you are leaving for Orthodox Judaism is basically saying that you reject the Xian claims and side with the "Pharisees".  
 
Yesterday, my computer stopped being able to dial into my computer programming job, and today, even after reformatting my drive and putting the software on, I still couldn't get in.  The job, because I have been telecommuting, has been a real distraction, and I had wished for a way out.  I don't know if this is an act of Hashem, but I wonder.

Now I have to reinstall Covenant Eyes, and I was having issues with installing it on my Kindle Fire.

Still clean though!  B"H!
 

It's day 16, and I have noticed that my mind and body are having a reaction to the abstinence.  I have had dreams on successive nights that try to incite me to motzi zera livatala.  And it that half-awake/half-asleep state, I don't think about the Knas, and today I am struggling a bit to keep it together.  It would be very easy today to have a "slip", I'm afraid. 

But I have to at least try to do the right thing.
 

That happens to me too though usually after a month or two. When I have a wet dream, many times I wake up right right before it happens. It's kind of upsetting. I have to remind myself that it's just my body getting used to abstinence.

12 step members call this detox. The lust needs to leave your system.

Stay strong. This too shall pass.

Wet dreams are a part of my life, if I am lusting before I go to sleep then I will have a wet dream. In fact, I almost always dream that Iost my sobriety and how not worth it the acting out was. My previous sponsor told me that I should enjoy my wet dreams, it's a free ride. I don't count wet dreams as a fall, even if I wake up before and even if I stimulate myself a little. I am not conscious at those moments and therefore I am not responsible for the ejaculation.

The Gemara says that they are from things we see and think about during the day. I usually get them a little into recovery too. Sleeping position also affects it.
 

Inastruggle, Shlomo24:  What usually happens to me is that I wake up before a wet dream actually happens.  Then it lingers throughout the day, and I am tempted.  Usually after about a few days, I can just let the thoughts run their course and have it happen, but I am conscious during it, so I think that would count as mz"l.

abd297: It was about a woman who works for the same company that I do.  I don't see her all the time, but yesterday I did, and I became er..."curious".  So I dreamt about her. 

I am putting a rubber band on my wrist, hoping to snap myself back.
 

When I get one it usually gives me a renewed lust drive that lasts for a few days. This is my most vulnerable time to relapse. Physically I feel that I fell because my body did go through the process. Mentally I feel that I fell because I feel like I just fell and get depressed. It's a bad mix that drags me back down. 

I've been told to let it go and continue as if nothing happened but it's really hard. I haven't had one in this new revival of recovery. I pray that I don't so I can at least have a strong beginning and if it comes it shouldn't be a major setback. 

Personally I get them if I sleep on my back, stomach, and left side. It's brought down in Halacha not to sleep on your back or stomach so you don't have wet dreams. The left side thing must be something different for me.

Watching your eyes and thoughts is definitely the best guard against them.  

MeyerLemon wrote on 25 Apr 2016 18:49:

Has the rubber band worked in the past? I personally wouldn't get too hung up over it and I usually ask god to stop me from obsessing.

MeyerLemon wrote on 25 Apr 2016 18:49:

That sounds really tough. When I wake up before it happens at least it happens. It sucks because it isn't necessarily the time I want to wake up etc. but at least right then I'm also not lusting. 

Maybe it'll help if you kind of think of it as part of teshuva. There's a concept that the teshuva isn't complete until you were in the same position as last time and this time you persevere. This isn't the exact thing but it is similar.

I don't really know what else to say besides that we're here for you.

I find that I have to distract myself with something entirely different if I want to distract myself. If you find that the rubber band works then go for it.  What Shlomo said is definitely a good idea too.

In the hours that I was awake yesterday, it was difficult at times, and I definitely would have normally acted out. I have managed to keep it together and did a little extra work today so that I wouldn't be sleeping tonight. (overnight shift). I never had really used the rubber band trick, but when I read about it, it seemed like a good idea as it us simple, portable, and doesn't rely on batteries.
I would have to watch though, that it doesn't trigger a fantasy of sorts.
Teshuva is probably a good way of looking at it, in the sense that we are brought to the same place, and now it is up to us to act differently.

Be"H
With the help of HaShem and you fine responders, I have made it to day 18.   It has happened that I am still not able to dial into the system at work, which in a way is a G-d send, because it had often happened that I was acting out while I was supposed to be working.  At the weekend job, there is no chance of that happening. 

I also have found that my addictive behaviors are taking root in eating, and I have been eating a lot more than usual.  This has been going on for a while, as I have been "on again / off again" in remaining abstinent, and I have gained about 15-20 lbs, which I don't like.

My job that I had to "dial into"..(showing my age), is a temp job, but paid significantly better than my permanent "weekend job", (which was my regular week job until this other one came along). pays so little ($35/hr (after factoring in taxes), vs. $11.50/hr) that I would have to have a second job just to live on my own.

I have an inkling maybe Hashem has something to teach me in the context of this "lesser job" as I am working with people.  In fact, if it weren't for one of the residents, I would not have started the road back to Judaism.


 

Having a little difficulty at the moment.  It's moments like this that I have questions about.  Last night I had I guess what would have been the beginnings, (again!) of another wet dream, but I usually wake up in fear before it actually happens.  Today in my waking hours, it feels like I am going to burst without my input.  In other words, I am not doing anything to induce motzi zera livatalah.  My question is about whether or not I have to be sleeping in order to not be considered as "having a fall", if in fact it happens automatically without touch or the use of pictures, etc.  If it is just by way of thought, is it a fall?

It has been only literally a couple of times that I had a wet dream, so I am not so familiar with this territory.   

MeyerLemon wrote on 27 Apr 2016 18:55:

Mo'adim LeSimcha.

IMHO, it depends on what exactly is the "it" that happens automatically and -- more importantly -- to what extent did the person not "invite" the occurrence (which is something that only he would really know -- "ידע איניש בנפשיה").

If the "it" is a physical leakage of Zera, not accompanied by pleasure, especially if caused by physical strain (such as from constipation or lifting something heavy), I would think that -- at least at a basic level -- this is clearly not a fall.

But if the "it" was a bona-fide orgasmic ejaculation, it would very much depend on what was the physical or mental trigger, and to what extent did the person truly not invite it. For example, if this "no-hands event" was triggered by lustfull thoughts that the person willingly entertained, then it might very well be considered (at least a type of) a fall.

May HaShem continue to strengthen you. Besorot Tovot.