Markz wrote on 21 Aug 2016 03:30:

Unmanageable. 

I mean, overall life is great. I get to be in Yeshiva part time, and I have a stable Parnassah B"H. My family is healthy and we are expecting another child in about 3 months. Shalom Bayis is not bad (although physical intimacy is almost non existent).  What more could I ask for?  (Well yeah, maybe improved physical intimacy. But in the grand scheme my life is very good.) 
And it's precisely because of this that I have this thick cloud of guilt and shame hanging over me because of all my acting out. I feel like such a כפוי טובה.  
Even if I could manage to get over the guilt I still cannot handle the ever present lust which is my driving me crazy. After reading different things, particularly from Dov, I think I've come to the realization that I'm indeed an addict and my life is unmanageable. 
Not sure where to go from here. I'm exploring various 12 step material. 

"BenTorah.BaalHabayis" post=296296 date=1476346133 catid=19
I seriously am considering beginning to attend SA meetings, but ...

"BenTorah.BaalHabayis" post=295115 date=1473886719 catid=19I'm seriously exploring 12 steps now.

"BenTorah.BaalHabayis" post=294971 date=1473604491 catid=17Thanks for your update, Yesod. 
I've been contemplating getting involved with a 12 step group.