Hey everybody! Thanks for the kind words of support.

I'm back on track, and have been sober since that fall. I've just been pretty busy since then (and a bit under the weather), so haven't had a chance to post here.

The real thing I'm tryin to work on is this:

cordnoy wrote:


Clearly, what I did until now was limited in its' effectiveness. I'm just not really sure what additional steps I could do now to fortify myself, and hopefully prevent any future missteps.

dear m58
im so relived to hear from you and that you have managed bounce back. the fact that you were able to go for so long without a fall is a sure sign that you are on the road to recovery. Hashem should help you achieve full recovery.
look around on the GYE handbook or from one of the articles on the site for ideas that you can do or perspectives that perhaps need changing. i personally found a atricle by Rabbi Twerski about lust to be extremely helpful.
much Hatzlocha

can you please tell us which article?

the aricle is
guardyoureyes.com/articles/rabbi-twerski/item/shekker-hachein
until i read it i thought to myself that if only my wife was more beautiful then i would not lust all the girls in the street. after i read this and a similar account of someone who was married to a stunning women but still had lust issues i realised that lust is a ATTITUDE and will not go away until i change my attitude not my wife!
gut voch to all!

abe2710 wrote:

Thanks Abe for the link to the article. Coincidentally (or should I say B'hashgachah?) I was just having this exact conversation with my wife tonight on our car ride home. You see, I was opening up to my wife a little bit about my renewed focus on Shmiras Einayim and machshava. She told me she was feeling that the reason why I was working on this so much must be because she was failing to satisfy me as a wife with the she dresses and our intimate life. This was said because in truth this is something we've been struggling with for a while. My wife never wanted to wear a long beautiful shaitel, and she actually is much more the hat type etc. For me this has been very difficult as I was kind of measuring her up in contrast to the women I saw on the street. But with everything I've been learning here I came to realize that the issue is not with her but with me. If I can control my lusting I won't have a need to compare how she dresses. She dresses beautifully in her own way.
I explained this to my wife last night and she was very grateful to hear it from me. And I'm happy to see Rabbi Twerski offer the same perspective.

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:


This is beautiful.
Keep it up.

B'hatzlachah

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:


Each of our wives are beautiful in their own way, we just need to see through our Creators eye, One is more willing to reveal, then I am sometimes ready to find out. Our Creator allow our seed to enter them, now apart of us is link to them, let us treasure our journey with them, she is now because of union the most important helpmeet of B"H. She has received a part of us individually, she has some of our best, but she also has a DNA link to our worst. Let us treasure our helpmeet, humble, call often in much positive prayer for the center of our life to be blessed.

Great article.

Still sober (thank God), still working hard.

Still trying to set up more fences, to ensure that when the next wave comes in, I'm prepared to handle it. Yes, I'm aware of the One Day At A Time mantra, but I don't think that means I can't plan ahead either. I just hope I can come up with an effective solution to help in the future.

Anyone looking for a partner?

What does having a partner mean for you?
My sponsor is great, but also working with a partner would be even better.

23 days clean and going strong. Still reading the White Book, almost done (about 80% through). Interesting stuff, although I liked the GYE Handbook more (granted, I don't think I'm experienced enough to really have a valid opinion on this).

eny wrote:


I guess the main point of a partner (in my mind) is to have someone in the same situation as you, who is also working on growing and improving, who can give you encouragement when you're in a particularly tough situation, and who you can help (and by extension, make yourself stronger) when they're in a tough spot.

Wow, it's been way too long since I stopped by here. My thread almost fell off the first page of the forums!

I'm still clean (Baruch Hashem!!!), just haven't gotten around to posting here (my cynical side is saying that's somewhat of a good thing, since if Chas Veshalom I had a fall, I'd probably have been motivated to comment quicker...).

Recently finished reading through the White Book for the first time, can't say I've full internalized all the lessons (hey, it's only my first time through it), but will definitely go through it again. First I think I'm going to reread the GYE book, though. It's been a while since I finished it, and I remember it was really good.

Well, thank you everyone for listening. Good night and KOT!!!

I have a problem...

Shvigger?

m58yiw84niym wrote on Unknown:

 main b bus undervolt?