Stopping by to say hello again. The past two days have been a bit rocky, I had a few 'lust attacks', but I was able to 'fight it off' (more in the end of this post about what I mean by that) and stayed clean.
I've been keeping myself EXTREMELY busy with work still, and haven't given myself any time to act out (although I make sure to still find some time to read a bit of the White Book), so that's been helping a lot as well.
Funnily enough, during a particularly trying moment yesterday, I decided I would come to this thread and post about it. Of course, at that particular moment, my computer and internet started acting all wonky, and I wasn't even able to get to this site. However, GYE still did what it was supposed to, as I was preoccupied working on my technology problems, and by the time I was done with that, my 'lust attack' was gone also
One interesting thing I've noticed is, the longer I stay clean, the more 'varied' my triggers become. For example, I recently needed to remove certain songs from my music playlist, as I felt they were 'borderline triggers' (not really sure how to describe it, but you know what I mean. And if you don't, well, at least I do
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/tongue.png)
). I guess that's a reminder that I need to keep on my toes, and never think that I've 'won the battle', for even if I may have made (significant) strides in the struggle, that doesn't mean I can grow complacent.
Regarding the aforementioned 'fighting it off', in the past, I would just (internally) scream at my mind to stop thinking about this,get out of my mind, etc. but that never really seemed to work. However, while I'm still not completely sure what 'giving my lust over to God' actually means, it seems like a more laissez-faire attitude seems to be working better for me. When these thoughts come in, I say, "Ok, they're here, God, please help me overcome this hurdle", and I try to ignore the thoughts.
And in a final point, got around to setting up my anonymous Google Voice number, so will sign up for a phone partner as well.
Thanks to everyone here for all your help and support! Even if you don't realize it, you're helping make this platform a place where an addict can come and start/continue their road to recovery!