I've been trying to reach 90 days for the last few months, with lots of falls and restarts.
I'm currently on my highest so far--9 days!! All thanks to my higher power. This time really feels different, I honestly believe that if I keep going, 1 day at a time, I may manage it!!!
A lot changed when I started speaking to God about my struggle often, and not just when I was having a rough time, or feeling weak. I started saying to God every shemonei esrei "God, help me get through today", in addition to if I was ever feeling weak, and that was the biggest game changer.
Feeling so positive about this, for the first time since I've started counting the days. Thank you God for my sanity and happiness!!

Welcome,
Great news!

Continued hatzlachah

B'hatzlacha Rabba
I was inspired by your posting to say a tefilla for you and me and all of us here
Hope you make it through today with blessing

Hey guys, still clean thank god. Having a bit of a tough day. Just feel like the slightest thought is setting off trains of lust

Today I reached 14 days. This is my highest record in over a year so far. It feels incredible, but at the same time im feeling really low. Every train of thought, no matter how innocent seems to lead to lust. Every conversation I have, innocuous or not seems to be laden with triggers. I know that in general this isn't true, but as ones getting succesful the trap starts springing, and im feeling it.

I hope you make it through the day - maybe take it one hour at a time.

Keep on going you are ahead of me brother!!!

I can tell you from my recent experience that yes there will be circumstances specificlly once you start seeing succeess that will try to entrap you. But keep on fighting.

Oh and if you do fall no big. Brush it off and move on. Realize that you ahev already reached tremendous heights even in your current stage. Take that success and build on it.

Thanks guys. The big taava time for me is usually when I take a shower before bed, and I still wanna do that tonight cause I am super sweaty from the day, so hoping that I make it through unscathed.

I survived last night, and made it through today as well!! Thank you God. Just trying to take it day by day, the last few days have been rough, hoping tomorrow will be better

wishing you success day by day, hour by hour, situation by situation

I fell, completely. I don't know what happened, I was in the shower, and the whole day today I've been struggling with thoughts. And fantasies, and i just couldn't control it. I was thinking--you don't have to do this, what a waste it will be, it's so short and fake, and I just acted out. Feeling so incredibly low, it's Elul, rosh hashona approaches, and I feel like I've barely changed. Yes, I had over two weeks clean, and that was incredible, but now it's all gone. Just very depressed and disgusted with myself.
But I want to move forwards, and so to speak forget about it, start counting again, but how can I protect myself against that happening again?
How can I feel like I've achieved something if I just keep knocking it down?

Sorry to hear about your fall.
Let's go back to your first post.
You have been speaking to God; that's good, but let me ask you: what have you been doing different? Are you simply going about your daily life as usual, but when there's a struggle of sorts, you beseech Him? Or, perhaps, you have changed somehow.

Let us know please.

Thanks

Hi all. Shabbos was really good, stayed clean, and am starting to feel ok with moving forward, just one question:with regards to brushing off a fall, I don't want to start thinking about it as something small, because that makes it easier to slip. But if I make it too heavy, it could cause depression if I do slip?
Cordnoy--I started asking God whenever I would speak to him to help me get through the day, whether it was being a hard day or not. Also, I started trying to push off the fantasies and thoughts as they would spring up, before they could root it so to speak. On the last two days before I fell, I was being much more lax with the fantasies. It really started with one that I didn't push away immediately, and then ended up causing more and more, until they kind of overloaded me and I just gave in. Otherwise, I was just going about daily life as usual. Do you have any suggestions as to what I should change if anything, or how I should go about it this time?

Have you read the handbook and all the tips there?

Just had a fall. Feel totally useless. I'm really just beginning to feel like giving up(even though at the very same time I know i will try again, it just feels like I'm fighting a pointless battle, and every time I try again I fall). I hate this. I hate the fact that I am like this, and that I have become like this. It breaks my heart, and I feel like I don't have the strength to fight a losing war any more. Feel so hopeless and lost.