I read on here that cutting out asexual relations all together on the 90 days is a good thing to do in order to have you realize that your wife was part of your addiction.
What was your experience about this? Did you hold back?

with me it worked great. But I am over 50 and my wife is starting menopause so her bleeding went wacko and she could not get clean for a number of months.

Going without relations for such a long time was very beneficial. You learn to control and you don't need to try to distinguish between plain lust, love for your wife, be a total selfless giver etc. It's simpler.

However, its not an easy thing or very practical when your married and she is not having such problems. add to that the fact that many women are unaware that their husband have this challenge at all.

I'm very confused now. Can't I lust after my wife?? What's the differents between lust love selfless giving. Clear it up please

Does it make sense to work not to want sex with my wife or I'm totally crazy

ZDuvid wrote:
Take a look at the dov quotes link in my signature. I'm pretty sure he discusses "love" vs "lust". In short. Love is giving. Lust is taking. Looking at one's wife as a mutar way to get our lust fix can feed our addiction as well. I know it's confusing, but that's because it's confusing.