Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 31 Jul 2019 21:57#342630

stillgoing Current streak: 50 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!" Posts: 1610 Karma: 129

Realestatemogul wrote on 30 Jul 2019 04:34:Also, I got a filter B''h to help with the fight, but then another avenue just came up that I will struggle with. I promised if I look then I will lose $50. I've spent so much money threatening myself. Actually I probably didn't loose that much since I didn't always have the guts to pay up... good luck on the new challenge. My personal moto that I (TRY!!!) to keep is, keep on going & keep on trying, but don't keep on doing the same old thing and hoping for different results.

BIG SHOT! Free Choice?! Yirai's Memories

Stillgoing's words of wisdom is really resonating with me - I know that I need to take a bigger step than what i've done until now and iy'H I will, its just difficult for some reason ... maybe Mr YH , or maybe fear of the unknown and or change regardless I think I must if I want to honestly say that Im working on getting better.

I'm 2 weeks clean B'H with His help,
right now im stressed out for certain reasons and this type of stress is a big trigger for me , I know however that acting out is not the solution and will only cause bigger problems so IY'H I will say NO to lusting tonight. 

Thanks for listening

Hazlacha.  We are all behind you. 

I followed through and did not turn to acting out as an answer, I am in the process (long term) of learning how to deal with these situations that result in me going after lust.

Wel done i man.

This is the key...you get the urge..but you do not have to act on it.

You replace it with positive action.

A few triggers tonight ...
But I know that opening the door to lust will trap me in a cage of misery...
if you would tell mme"if you look at porn you will have to go to the Dentist , dmv ,and any other awful government agency of choice " I would probably find something better to do - Tonight I choose  something better to do than spiral into a temporary indulgence of insanity. 

I'm doing very good B'H
This week due to ccircumstances Im particularly vulnerable, (that doofus yetzer horah had me being lazy about contacting a gye friend about these circumstances)
I did slip a little tonight,  but nothing like what I did 3 weeks ago,  so...slip aheen slip aher and vayter we go ...the same way when you slip on ice and flail around comically upon gaining your balance you wont go on to purposely fall on it , oy the "chidushim" the brain comes up with late at night..

sleepy wrote on 20 Aug 2019 07:37:

I did - it made my head hurt like when you cross your eyes 

Alas I have fallen woe is to me ..

its unfortunate it wasnt even the regular triggers that led to it 
I think it underscores that which I have realized already - that i need to do something bigger than what im already doing - either 12 steps or therapy,
iy'H  it will be good , Hashem loves me and knows that i want to do the right thing and with His help I will overcome all of this .

Today was a pretty good day considering...
Thank you Hashem for allowing that to happen.

i-man wrote on 22 Aug 2019 04:13:

I was thinking - maybe this is just because I'm desensitized...

i-man wrote on 21 Aug 2019 06:30:

What's the urgency ? Meaning: why now is it more urgent then it was before? Or if before wasn't as urgent, why is it so urgent now?
What difference does it make whether it was the regular trigger vs an irregular one? If "acting out" is urgent then what's the difference what lead to it, and if its not a concern then also what is the difference what precipeated it?

Sounds like some good questions 

However I didnt write anything about urgent/cy so that might answer them.

"I think it underscores that which I have realized already - that i need to do something bigger than what im already doing - either 12 steps or therapy,"
Why now and not earlier if.....?

Tzvi5 wrote on 22 Aug 2019 19:27:

If I understand what your asking it is - If I realized already that I need to do something than why haven't I yet , and I would say to that Human nature is to push off decisions , particularly on things we are scared of like change,  remember human beings are not machines ....