markz wrote on 13 Mar 2016 12:00:

oops did I Mark? Must have been a Freudian slip... You know how close the A and S are on the keyboard... ....  How much will it cost to have the deeper meaning of why I'm doing that analyzed! WAIT! Don't answer that till I lay down on this couch over here... POOF! Ah, now I can get better, will my insurance cover this? How much did you say? 150 an hour? Great! So you'll cure my addiction though right? After how many sessions? You're not sure? I have to first start the treatment and then you can tell me.? Ok that makes sense.... - Fast forward six month later- So, can you tell me when this is going to end? I have  a second mortgage? What do you mean we uncovered issues that look like they will take a lot longer than you originally anticipated? .... .... ...... ...... ... ... ... ..... ..... .... .. ... ... .. Achake lo... achake lo.... 

I cant believe it, its been fifty whole days!
I know ive heard in the past that its not good to be counting, but i still feel good that im on the right track & i hope to be able to reach my ultimate goal of 90 days and beyond Be"H.

You are an inspiration. May we have serenity each and every day.

Well done I Hope to be where you are without going to 0.

Sasha 2 wrote on 16 Mar 2016 08:47:

I would rephrase that: counting is fine, just the focus shouldn't be completely on the count.

Strength365 wrote on 16 Mar 2016 17:02:

What I've learnt from being around here is that, if we are on recovery, a fall never puts us  back to "zero" because we are so much better off working on it then before!

Last night here in Eretz Yisroel there was an internet Asifa with thousands of american bochurim, really inspiring!!
One thing the Gedolim spoke about was the importance to Gaurd Your Eyes & not having smart phones even with filters because when your down nothing can stop you from viewing one picture and that's all it takes to bring you down!
Boy can I relate with that!!
I hope all the bochurim takes this seriously and not wait until its too late...

Tomorrow is a fast day, I don't know if anyone can relate but I find these situations particularly hard being that without food I am less focused and especially because I have more time on my hands.

I don't have a real plan, but I better come up with something quick!!

you have written that you are bucher living/ learning in Israel.
whats about a ride to the kotel, shmuel hanavi.
besides GYE, the computer shouldn't be in your plan.
Happy purim.

Btw' do you have a plan for purim?
 

Most likely , all of us here have this problem in some way or another. It's a called the Gd given strength of imagination. a tool that can be used  many ways. personally I think its very normal for someone who sees deep into things. I try very hard to take care of  not depriving basic needs, this way things, including imagination, stay in check. It's Not some underlying factor... 

baalachrayus wrote on 22 Mar 2016 19:47:

Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe for you and not for someone else. Also, if something is underlying then you might not be aware of it. So its a good idea to leave open the possibility. 

realsimcha wrote on 23 Mar 2016 03:52:

I agree with RS. In the beginning I thought that my experience was the truth and that it was applicable to everyone. It's not. I only know my experience and i can only share my experience. I do not claim to know absolute truths.

doingtshuva wrote on 22 Mar 2016 11:57:

Thanks for the idea!
B"H the fast is over here & I'm still clean.
Purim I am with people so I hope I'll be ok.

My purim here in yerushalayim starts tonight, I just gotta hang on & pull through Be''H! 

Purim itself was really ok, but Friday night (motzei purim here) was crazy hard for me!
I honestly don't remember feeling that way since I started this count again, I felt that I was gonna fall & there was absolutely nothing to do about it!! I realized that I am totally powerless and I davened that Hashem should help me get through this situation.

B"H I made it through ok!

I think what made me pull through was just the simple fact that I realized how far I've come & I can not start all over again.

I am presently working on the 4th step so I tried to think what might have caused me to feel this way but couldn't really see a clear explanation, I guess I got to work on it some more...