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Too cynical For it all?
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TOPIC: Too cynical For it all? 3496 Views

Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 17:54 #249180

  • hastirastir
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I just joined GYE today. Recently I have been spiraling to the point that I can't get myself to daven or learn because of the shame and hypocrisy. Despite the fact that I enjoy doing both.

I am a scared that this time around will fail like the rest of my tries. I am a cynical person by nature and perhaps this will be what stops me from enjoying the accomplishments and chizzuk that I can get from being here.

I am wondering if anyone can relate.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 18:42 #249182

  • skeptical
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Just look at the name I chose when I signed up here!

Forget the past, you can't change what has happened.
Forget the future, you have no idea what will be.
The only thing you can do right now is focus on making the right choices, as they come up.

Hatzlacha!

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 19:09 #249184

  • hastirastir
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Whats the Karma +- for?

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 19:34 #249190

  • newaction
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When you click the + the poster's karma goes up .

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 20:52 #249199

  • cordnoy
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Welcome,

Today! Damn it! Today!

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 20:57 #249201

  • hastirastir
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Yeah, Without going into detail I bumped into a video about addiction to porn. Has happened before but for some reason it got me to seriously check out GYE. I started to read some posts and cried like an embarrassed married man (nothing really compares to how pathetic it is).
Anyway, so I joined!

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:02 #249204

  • cordnoy
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Ok; so fate got you here.

Now what?

What's the plan?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:11 #249206

  • hastirastir
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Not sure.

I'm aware of the science of addiction and the need for a plan. If I were a drug addict and I was this desperate I'm sure my wife would recognize the cries for help and help me come clean. But with this one I don't think admitting to be powerless over the addiction will get me too far.

This type of addiction is different, the battle will essentially be fought internally. I got myself to this point and I need to get myself out.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:14 #249207

  • cordnoy
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admittin' to who?
I'm kinda lost as to what you mean.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:18 #249209

  • hastirastir
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The traditional 12 step: one of the 12 is admitting that your powerless toward the addiction.

My point was that it will have to be willpower.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:23 #249210

  • cordnoy
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I wish you well then.
I have no idea if youre addicted or not, but all the people here who are addicted or close to it - hardly any of them were victorious with willpower alone.
I say the serenity prayer at least three times a day, and immediately beforehand, I acknowledge that there ain't nothin' in the world we can accomplish without God allowin' us, enablin' us, helpin' us, assistin us', and when I get to the serenity prayer, I know (although I might not understand) that this recovery process is not from me, for I am truly powerless; it is due to God's grace.

Safe travels!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:50 #249218

I think many of us come here thinking it's an aveira that happens to be an addiction. But it's not. It's an addiction that happens to be an aveira. Recovery is the same as other addictions.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:54 #249221

  • hastirastir
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What was your plan?

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 21:59 #249222

  • cordnoy
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hastirastir wrote:
What was your plan?


Read any of my threads.
Look at the homepage as well for ideas.
Skep's tips.
Gibbor's links.
Plenty of tools here.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Too cynical For it all? 22 Feb 2015 22:07 #249225

  • hastirastir
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I was talking to Menachem.
Last Edit: 23 Feb 2015 00:02 by hastirastir.
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