Just a short ha'arah: I am sure you thought about this, but I was wondering about putting a number (not the count of days) in front of people's names on the 90 day chart. It just seems like a rating that invites me to compare myself to others rather than focusing on doing my best and what I need to do. Is this an example of kinas sofrim? I don't know, but it just gave me reason to pause when I noticed myself looking to see if I went up in my comparative rating rather than just how well I am doing. & I don't think that is good for me. This chart has been tremendously helpful for me because I don't want to break my streak. I'm wondering if anyone has any comments about this. Ksiva Vchasima Tova!

It could be good: inspiration to others or it could be bad: focusing too much on the days.

Whatever you decide, take a deep breath and focus on what really matters: true recovery, truly living life

Neshamah...are you referrin' to the number of days, or to some other random number?

Please explain.

thanks

There's a number in front of each username on the 90 days list, as if it's a ranking.

guardyoureyes.com/90-days-chart

The more I see the ranking, the more I don't like it or what it does to/for me. Why should I pay any attention at all as to whether I am higher than others or not? I think it (I'm talking specifically about the ranking in comparison to others as opposed to just the count) draws me into the unhealthy aspects of competition which are not good for me.

why should I feel better, if somebody else fell and therefore I have a higher ranking?

does anyone have similar thoughts? is there any way to get it changed/removed?

The number on the list is not a "ranking", it's more like an arbitrary number used to count the number of participants in the program.

Consider the following:

a) People with the same amount of days are higher and lower than each other even though in "ranking" they would be equal.

b) People who don't update their chart daily, (this may be the majority) are going to be lower on the chart than others who have less days but update more frequently.

c) If it were a ranking then many other factors would have to come into play, such as, total number of clean days, time in between falls, if you're married or single,....

Personally, I get a lot of chizzuk by the number of people on the chart. It means I'm not alone, and that their also still fighting alongside me.

If it still bothers you then you can email guard at eyes.guard@gmail.com and see if he wants to change it.

inastruggle wrote:


Just curious....married or single? Which do you consider more difficult?

thanks

Seeing as I've never been married wouldn't know.....

I've heard arguments both ways, that for a bachur he can just forget the whole topic and he doesn't need to draw boundaries between healthy sex and lusting.

However a married guy has a form of pas b'salo, and isn't busy imagining who his kallah is going to be.

What do you think?

Honestly...don't know.

There's pas besalo and all the frustrations that come with it (sorry if I busted your bubble). My question was one of curiosity, for you wrote it in a way like you knew which way you would factor it.

But don't worry yourself on it...it's an irrelevant question.

B"h that bubble busted long ago. It was one of the first, and most important, things I learnt when I joined.