Thanks bigmoish- I never realized what the spoiler thing that people put in their posts was. I thought it was some kind of joke I just didn't get! I just realized with your post that you can actually click on it! How do you make a spoiler thingy?

Highlight the text you want hidden, then click the "spoiler" button. It's in the top row, above the smileys, 10th button from the right side.

Now go back and read all the punch lines you missed because they were hidden in the spoilers

mischaretani wrote:

I am interested in people's thoughts about telling your wife.
when and when not should one be telling his wife that he is a porn addict?
I feel like I would never be able to bring my self to tell her the truth about myself but I feel terrible that I am living this lie
Thanks for the help.

I wish I could help you. I really can't, though.
I'm still trying to get a feel for my wife's own emotions after finding out.
They have certainly not "stabilized" completely yet.
We are trying to figure out a way in which she can feel comfortable and confident that I am being honest (because I kind of wrecked that "trust" thing we had going, duh), while at the same time not "burdening" her with having to know every time I feel uncomfortable.

Much Hatzlocha to you.

Moish

ted wrote:


I told my wife after I had been involved with GYE and was clean for a 3 months. She was sad but did not freak out and was calmed mostly by the fact that I was actively pursuing a solution.

Every situation is different though...

I'm not qualified to give you an answer. I broke down and told her because I was literally sick, had zero appetite and she knew something was bothering me. After a few days I told her. She was initially shocked and by now has stabilized. A few days after she told me that she was happy I told her. We don't talk about it anymore- it's a thing of the past and she knows that I am working on it.
Every situation is different. Sorry I can't be of help.

Hurray! Hefsek tahara was good! There is a light at the end of the tunnel- thank you Hashem!

I'm happy for you.

You probably don't wanna hear it, but for the sake of honesty, I just need to write: No matter what, there is always light at the end of the tunnel....some tunnels are just longer and darker than others.

b'hatzlachah

Thought I would share this כלי יקר with everybody:

After the episode with שכם and דינה, the פסוק tells us that יעקב commands his children "הסירו את אלהי הנכר אשר בתוככם והטהרו והחליפו שמלתיכם"
A few פסוקים later, we are told that they comply: "ויתנו אל יעקב את כל אלהי הנכר אשר בידם", except that when יעקב speaks, he uses the word "בתוככם", whereas when his children comply, the פסוק says "אשר בידם".

The כלי יקר explains as follows:
Every action is preceded with a מחשבה. Therefore, יעקב gives the command to remove אלהי הנכר אשר בתוככם, telling them to be מטהר their מחשבה. Then he tells them, והחליפו שמלותכם, referring to their actions. מלבושים refer to actions, as per the פסוק in קהלת which states "בכל עת יהיו בגדיך לבנים".
When the שבטים comply with the command, they give to יעקב the אלהי הנכר אשר בידם. The מדרש רבה states that "הרשעים ברשות לבם, אבל הצדיקים, לבם ברשותם ובידם". The שבטים first were מטהר their מחשבה, and then were able to give their father את אלהי הנכר אשר בידם - they were able to hold the יצר הרע in their hand and control him.

Happy Chanuka to all! I always wondered what it was like to be clean on Chanuka... Okay, maybe I never wondered- but I'm sure glad I found out! Thank you Hashem for two hundred and thirty something days!

Mazel tov on your latest milestone.

We miss your posts.

b'hatzlachah

I have fallen But I am getting back up. Today is day 1.

Why did I fall? I'm not sure.
Hashem gave me a test. There was a glich in my k9 filter. I discovered it at a particular time of weakness. I could have blocked it right away (because you can add blocked sites to k9 without the password). But I didn't.
I guess I failed the test.
But at least all the clean days are still clean and I can keep moving on. I'll be stopping in to GYE more often to post.

Sorry to hear about the fall. But yeah, what an amazing accomplishment so far! All those clean days are still there. The 90- Day chart is just that, a chart. Focus on the cumulative clean days, and rack up another streak.

2 days clean! (plus all the days from my last streak - mods, maybe you can help me out. all of my cumulative days disappeared for some reason. is there a way to get it back?)