pidaini is more then the man he's king of the site.

p.s. you got a big following KUTGW

Ok, so its day 6 and Shabbos passed so let me update the chevra.

Shabbos passed beautifully B"H, I had a interesting experience this Shabbos and then saw a nice vort I would like to share.

As I was walking into Shul Friay night the gabbai of the shul came over to me and asked me to daven for the amud 15 seconds later I found myself standing there with the talis on my head, standing there a thought went through my head (there goes my kavonah) hay it has been a very very long time (like 6 years) since the last time he convinced me to go over on Shabbos! no matter how many times I was pushed and begged, I would keep on saying I'm not in the mood I don't feel up to it, what happened all of a sudden?

The answer was not slow to follow, as I sat back down on my seat after davening I took a parsha pamphlet that was laying on the table, over there a saw a vort that the Chudushai Harim (today is his yurtzeit) heard from his rebbe The Reb Bunim of Pershuscha ZY"a who said it over from Reb Moshe Leib of Sasiv Zy"a.

In the tochacha the torah tells us that all the punishments come as result of lack of simcha - happiness, תחת אשר לא עבדת את ד' בשמחה, so many ask the question due to lack of simcha we should experience such punishments?

So Reb moshe leib Zy"a answered that the explanation is as follows, the punishments don't come for lack of simcha, they come for big sins that we perform, but we come to commit these sins due to lack of simcha!

So this provided me with some understanding, cuz we need to understand that this goes in both directions, being busy with inappropriate behavior also causes sadness which aggregates you and brings you to do even worse sins. Those were my thoughts at the moment and I share them here so it might be able to help someone out there.

The rest of the Shabbos went through very calm looking forward for another sober week, IYH.

Thanks again to everybody for their support!!!

1 more thing I need to say, I didn't expect my compliment to Pidaini to spark such a reaction so I wasn't careful not to omit other devoted members. is stand in constant contact with some very nice devoted members who I also need to thank but will stop here out of fear not to miss anybody again.



THANK YOU GYE, AND THANK YOU TO ALL MEMBERS!!!!

Good work!!! Keep it up! Happiness is very important. No matter what happens: happiness is the key!

and Thank you!!!

Ok guys sorry for not keeping you updated but things at work were/are busy this week which is an artificial way for me to stay away from trouble, didn't have much time for reading the great material GYE has to offer, but BH so far so good its like 10 days now without any slips.


Thanks to all of you for your support and help!

Misgaber (hopefully)

Wahoo!!! busy is good. Keeep on going!!!

I would like to keep on posting/updating even when things are calm as the opening seems to be helpful.

So Shabbos went through uneventful things were nice and calm (well isn't that what we expect after 2 clean weeks) I read through the first step of the GYE handbook and started a shiur in sefer Hatanya and am seriously thinking of joining a early morning kollel, otherwise there isn't much going on.

Thanks to everyone for your support!

חזק ברוך

misgaber41 wrote:


Oh, great i was looking for a ראש הכולל, please contact me.

Incredible!!!! Keep it up. One day at a time!

So if anybody is still interested this is the story, I just updated my 90 day count to know what to write, it day 19 WOW WOW ( YES I WAS ALLREADY UP TO 84, but... now this is where we are up to) the last few days have been very busy which is great cuz being busy keeps me away from getting busy... (as a principal once said to a teacher.. keep them busy so they don't keep you busy) which in a way is good but on the other hand caused me not to WORK on getting better which lead me to the current feeling where I am over tired /overworked didn't do any positive work on staying sober so I have this funny feeling of insecurity, hoping that expressing it in public will help me pull through.

Thanks again to all the chevrah for your support!!

hopefully - MISGABER

Congratulations on TODAY!!! YUPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being tired gets me too. Something gives me strength in those moments and it is the truth that life is hard. Life is hard. Yes, life is hard. It is not easy. If you can accept that, i believe u can move on from that and bite yourself to the next level...

The next level.... You said what the next level is and i think u are spot on, it's simcha. Being thankful.

So thank you!!!

I heard this yesterday from Reb Meilich Biderman it gave me a lot of chizuk so why not post it for others to enjoy!
חיד"א - פני דוד - אמור
וז"ל הקשה רבינו יהודא החסיד מאי שנא כהן גדול אסור באלמנה וכהן הדיוט מותר בה, ותירוץ דאמרינן בפרק עשרה יוחסין דאין מוסרין שם המפורש אלא לצנועין שבהם, וכהן גדול אומר אותו ביום הכיפורים ושמה ישא עיניו באשת איש שיראה אותה יפה ויזכיר הד' על בעלה ויהרוג אותו

translation: The Chida brings down that Reb Yehuda Hachossid asks why is it that the Torah prohibited a Kohen Godol from marrying a widow while a Kohen Hedyit is allowed to marry her?

So he answered that the gemorah in kedushin sais that we cant teach the secrets of the SHEM HAMIFORISH only to very righteous people cuz with the shem one could build or destroy the entire world.

The kohen Godol on yom kiper said the Shem in the kodshai hakodoshim. Having said that Reb Yehudah hachosid gives this as the reason to why the torah doesn't allow him to marry a widow because we are afraid that maybe he will see pretty women and he will say the Shem to kill her husband so that he could marry her.

Rabbi Biderman finished: This is absolutely mind boggling we are afraid that the Kohen Gödel will have such thoughts?

The answer is that the bigger a person is the stronger the nisyonos that he is given to deal with are!!!

yes i just fell details to follow when I clear my mind

Ok so let me be true to my word and update the olom.

Before purim I was in a bad mood simply cuz I am an addict and I didn't get what I wanted. Then my lovely wife did a thing or two which weren't exactly to my liking but nothing major at all. Being in the state I was led me to blame her for my mood, so there came a full fledged fight BH it only lasted 3 days, but during these days in my mind I was a victim to her behavior the misery of that feeling led to full fledged 12 hour fall.
At that point I wasn't even in the mood of getting up.

BH with the help and encouragement of some fellow members I was able to gather my thoughts and pull out, its 5 days since and I'm doing just fine.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM YOUR EXPEIRIANCE?

well the most important thing I came to realize was that when I give in even a drop to my addictive behaviors I loose focus of the real world around me and become 100% self centered selfish and nasty. I could now say after being sober a few days, I might of had some valid points but was absolutely wrong for that reaction of mine.

LETS HOPE I WILL REMEMBER TO APPLY THIS LESSON IN THE FUTURE WHEN NEEDED!!!

Thanks for listening