Hey Ya'll,

I am on my jouney to sobriety one day at a time. Day 65 is no different than day 1 or 90. I just feel great. I feel im doing the Ratzon Hashem. I feel a lot closer to Hashem than i did 30-50 days ago, 100%. I just don't know how to describe the feeling, but when you really are growing and working on yourself in this specific area of zeira levatalah and shmiras eiynamim, life just is much more smooth. Spiritually you feel more connected to Hashem. You are more motivated. You have a drive for Ruchnios. I know this as a fact, as i am experieincing it now and have in the past. My goal is to just look at one day as trying just to stay sober for that one day. No lofty goals or accomplishments. If hashem wants me to keep going and growing, and IF i pray and Daven for this to keep moving forward, then it will. If i really want something in life, whether a Shidduch, paranassa, I have learnt that real davening during times of cleanliness and Lust free long periods of time really lead a person to have his tefillot answered. I know Hashem wants my best. I believe this without doubt. I know he can give me whatever i want. He is the only one in control and with ALL the power to do what he wants.

The questions is, can i bring him to me in a way that its not a one way street? He doesn't answer tefillos of those who are selfish and one dimensional.

Great! Keep up.

shefflover87 wrote:

karov Hashem lchol kor'ov lchol asher yikrauhu b'emes

keep up the good work that sound really great your trying to get a grip on your life in general together with getting a grip on the keeping clean 1 day at a time that makes a lot of sense.
thanx for sharing its a big chizuk for all of us.

Hashem is constantly giving to us unconditionally, regardless of what we do or don't do. That is how great Hashem's love is towards us.
We need to give to Hashem (by fulfilling His mitzvos) unconditionally, regardless of how He may answer our tefillos.

This is how a(ny) relationship is maintained.

Thanks for the update!!

KUTGW!!!

Just one note, first time around, I was clean for 152 days and fell, and I wasn't whiteknuckling the whole time, there was certainly a time there where I felt the way you do. The way Hashem created us is that we are not always on that high, and there are times when we don't feel the geshmak that you describe, the question is, what do we do then?

so what do we do?

Remeber me?

Glad to see you making such progress, keep it up!

shefflover87 wrote:


Did you ever hear the story of the guy that was praying for his house to be converted to a mansion overnight?
Someone met him the next day and asked, "Nu? Were your tefillos answered?" He did a double take when the reply was positive. "Yes, Hashem answered, he said NO."

Hashem answers all tefillos. The purpose of tefilla is to bring one close to Hashem to the point where he doesn't necessarrily WANT the answer to be yes. When he feels Hashem's reality and closeness so strongly that he can accept a no as well.

If I accept Hashem's reality, closeness and justice, can I be selfish?


Does this answer your question?

Accepting reality. I have to add the serenity prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Funny how these prayers are always new.

is the shefflover around?