Rabosai,

As I approach 90 days, I have been experiencing an intensifying of an already existing nisayon for me... lack of sleep. The last week or so has been particularly challenging... our 16-month old (ba"h) has been waking up (working up quickly to screaming) at odd hours, and wakes up both my wife and I... the toughest part is when she (the baby!) wakes up an hour or less before the time when my alarm clock is set to go off... then it's particularly challenging to get back to sleep.

I know there are a number of folks out there who can get by with no problem on 6-7 hours of sleep per night... but I really need 8... and even without the baby's intervention, I typically don't get enough because I flat-out go to sleep too late (even when not doing anything inappropriate)... there's just too much to do!

Thank G-d, I usually get enough sleep on Shabbos, but other than that, it's only a night here or there that I get close to enough (7-7.5 hrs). And man, 1.3 nights of enough sleep a week ain't cutting it... today, erev Shabbos, I feel run down, can't concentrate at work, am more likely to get irritated at others for no good reason. I hate being like this because I know I could, and should, be better.

I know that the baby's sleep habits, I can't really control... Hashem tells her to wake up, and because she's a tzedekas, she obeys Him immediately. I can't control how my wife handles the situations, so getting mad at her for not getting the baby back to sleep is stupid and non-productive. But, man, how do I deal with my own inclination to think that X,Y, and Z must be done before I go to bed, even if I mess myself up in the process?!

Have a great Shabbos.

My advise is have a plan. I have a similar issue and have several strategies for dealing with it. One thing I do is preoccupy myself while trying to fall asleep by thinking about something I like such as Torah or lesser things like sports. If you feel the inclination coming on, say tehillim. The key is to have a plan and stick to it. The Y'H knows what he's doing, he also knows what you are doing, so think about switching up that plan from time to time.

I can totally relate to the "lack of sleep syndrom". I needed to figure out how to deal with lack of sleep, for as you write it sometimes can just not be avoided.

Tosfos wrote:


How could you be better?

How should you be better?

Hashem is the one that is making you tired as well, and when we are tired we cannot do any better, it's just the way Hashem created us!!


Tosfos wrote:


Are X,Y, and Z, lust related things, or other important things that you feel can't be pushed off?

Pidaini wrote:

Ahh, Pidaini... you call me out... very good... of course, when one does not get enough sleep, the result is feeling run down, etc... as you said, that is the way Hashem has made us. I did not mean to say that I could be better than that... what I meant was, I think I could be better about getting closer to enough sleep, so that I at least have done what I can about feeling ok physically and mentally... of course, in the end, even when getting enough sleep, it's still up to Hashem as to how "tired" I feel, etc.

As far as the "X, Y, and Z"... those are usually non-lust related things... occasionally, when feeling down, I have chased my lust escape in a way that caused me to lose even more sleep than I would have otherwise... but for the most part, they are things I have felt to be important enough to stay up... and they might very well be important, but as a result of staying up, I wind up feeling worse for it the next day... and this is something I seem to be doing almost every weeknight.

I hear you and I wish I had an answer. I do it all the time also. Last night I went to sleep at 2:30. Then the baby was up at 4:30, and I went into his room and B"H he went back to sleep until 6:00 next to me on his bed. But boy was I cranky this morning. That in turn affects my interactions with my wife and kids, my shemirat eynayim, my lustful thoughts, my impatience, my temper.

And really it is just stupidity. I was reading a book and the whole time I was thinking, I have to put this down or I am going to be a disaster tomorrow.

Shavua Tov
Eli