Hi, everyone. I haven't posted for a while, and I think that messed me up big time. I've been falling a lot, like 3-4 times a week. And I've been frustrated because I keep taking steps to protect myself on the Internet, whether it be installing K9 or WebChaver, etc. I kept finding ways around them and I kept davening for a solution but couldn't find one. I almost gave up. But the day after Yom Kippur, I came across a new accountability software called Accountable2You, which has drastically helped me in the battle. All my devices are protected now...my phone, tablet, laptop. But I found that the software didn't install on every user account on my laptop, and I opened new accounts and fell. But now I found NetNanny, the best filter out there. I feel like I have new weapons in fighting my addiction. I have no access to the settings on the filter...my partners do. But I fear that I will try to find ways around the software and I will deactivate it, just as I did with the previous software.

I also tried starting the 90 days chart, but I fell the very first day. Together with the new accountability and filtering software and the 90 days chart, I wish to be able to make it like the others who have made 90 days have. But how to I protect myself from seeking ways around the filter and accountability software?

If anyone can give me advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.

FrumGuy

Hi there chaver,

I also tried and tried, and tried again, for many decades. And I kept failing miserably. But once I came to GYE, although I found that there are many different approaches and ideas, but one common thread was that "we need to avoid all forms of lust". Period. We can have filters and fences, gedarim and nedarim, Torah and chizzuk, 12 steps and therapy; but if we let our eyes or minds indulge in anything that feeds our lust, then we will eventually snap the rubber-band. Like Rabbi Shais Taub said, "You cannot take laxative and will yourself not to go."

So as we embark on our journey, rule number one should be: Don't drink and drive. We must put down the bottle (of lust) if we want to have a successful trip.

Bon voyage!

MT

Machshovo Tova wrote:


That's an awesome quote! Thanks MT!

I like the laxative quote MT!

If someone is not shomer shabbos, putting a little piece of tape over the light, will not prevent him from turning it on. That only works if the person is already shomer shabbos.

A filter is like that tape over the light. For a normal person, it may help. For an addict, it certainly does not. I think you have proven without question that better, greater, more wonderful filters, are not the answer for you. They are more like a heker.

What have you been doing in a positive direction? What measures have you taken? Have you spoken to anyone about your problem? Have you identified things that make you prone to lusting? Have you taken measures to deal with negative emotions effectively? Have you read the handbook to get ideas? If nothing changes, nothing will change.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing!

Have a great Shabbos! (and don't forget to put tape over the light ).

Love,

gibbor