I'm struggling. Isn't that a great way to start?

I just came back from 90 minutes of learning and WHAM! Terrible desires hit me as I go into the washroom. Dark, evil voices that beckon me to take a moment to get relief. Incredible. Right after my learning.

My wife is niddah for another week. I'm just about to hit 2 weeks of being clean and I know that if I can just hold out, the desires will eventually lessen. They will, right?

I've never come to a site like this before. I've never sought help beyond my own means, which have obviously not worked yet. I've tried and failed so many times, but I won't stop until Hashem beats this thing with me.

I know how bad wasting seed is. I know how important learning is. I know that I am always before Hashem. So why hasn't that stopped me yet? The worst time is when I'm alone. I'm my own worst enemy. I can get around filters. I can find the means to feed my desire to view the forbidden.

I'm stuck on the latest chizuk message. Fill my eyes with holiness. How long will I find strength in these words? I'm going to do everything I can to find out. When the desires hit me, I pray that I'll find the strength to continue fighting with pictures of tzaddikim and words of kedusha.

Welcome, I think you came to a good place, perhaps even to the right place, and I think it it is great that you started on your path of recovery.

Great man, Mazel Tow on taking the first step, it is the hardest, to open up and admit. Hm, I guess they lessen. But I guess they remain, for our whole life, but that isn't so bad.... I hope I will learn that soon too ;-)

Man, all the best to you. I wish you a great sober day!!!! And a beautiful Shabbes!

welcome dear chaver, thank you for stopping by. as yehoshua (what a great name! moshe rabeinu's talmid & mamshich) said you are in the right place. keep comming back it works if you work it (that what they say in the meeting rooms)

Achievingmyname wrote:

It's the only way to start. People who are not struggling don't come looking for help. For most of us here, chizzuk alone is not enough. Have you read the GYE handbook? There are some great ideas in there. There is a lot to learn on this forum as well.

WELCOME!

Achievingmyname wrote:


Perhaps because you have an illness or addiction as many other fine people around here. So welcome to GYE, and please check out the GYE handbook. It will open your eyes in many good ways, and hopefully you'll figure out where you stand and what to do next. And hopefully you'll join the many many (myself included) who thank the day they discovered GYE.

Hatzlacha

MT